Customer service, i miss you dearly…

Back when there were mom and pop stores run by families who depended on customers returning to stay in business, good customer service was a real thing.

When there were choices as to where to spend your money, businesses competed to make sure you were a happy camper. This is becoming less and less the case everyday.

Last week I was at a big chain grocery store (the only one in town) and the checkout girl got huffy with me because I stood there and refused (passive aggressively) to bag my own fucking groceries.

While I understand that there are stores where you’re expected to bag your own shit, with the trade off being that the prices are allegedly a little lower than the store down the street where they have baggers, this was not such a store. This place has baggers!

I noticed that the people in line before me happily bagged their own groceries and went on their way. Maybe they were in a hurry or get a kick out of bagging groceries. I don’t know, but I wasn’t in a hurry and I bagged groceries in high school…been there done that.

While G$ kept me busy by handing me every fucking pack of Trident, Tic Tacs and Chap Stick that this place could stock at a child’s eye level (I think they call these bins by the checkout lines impulse bins) Polly Pinkhair was just standing there staring at us.

Me: “Is there a problem? My card went through, right?”

PP: “Yeah, I’m waiting for someone to bag.”

She said it in such a way that I heard “Hey fatfuck, can you bag your groceries like everyone else does and get out of my line?”

This gal was maybe somewhere between 20 and 25 years old. I can’t really guess ages so well anymore. I do know for a fact that she wasn’t cripple.

After she finally half assed and very meticulously (slowly) started to put my crap into plastic bags, just to be a total douche, I told her that I’d prefer paper please. She was kind enough to sigh and roll her eyes a bit before tossing my bread into the bottom of a paper bag.

There were two kids farther down the way bagging groceries for some other, more attractive cashiers. I sort of chuckled and said

“Things don’t change sometimes”

PP: “Wha?”

Me: “20 years or so ago, when I was bagging groceries in high school, we used to always bag for the prettiest checkers first and then make our way to the mean older ones as we could. Rarely should a pretty checker have to bag groceries”

PP: “Yeah, these baggers suck.”

Ah, subtlety, it was completely lost on Polly.

In another bit of customer service, do it your fucking self gold, Six Flags has decided that it’d be a neat idea to let customers basically do all the work required to process a season pass.

After two and a half hours waiting in line outside (yes, with all three kids), we finally entered some little hut type room where there were computers all over the place. The reason for the wait was immediately obvious as it was incumbent upon the guests to enter the information for each pass into a computer all by themselves before making their way to an actual employee who takes the picture and prints the card.

This would be fine and dandy were Six Flags St. Louis not visited almost exclusively by thousands upon thousands of urban and rural inbred retards every day! Every third guest is either a tooth missing or gold tooth having near brain dead dolt. Their love of MMA and roller coasters is apparently mutual.

I mean some of these fucktards were literally poking the computer monitors with their fingers like they were smart phone touch screens. Oh my God, “THE FUCKING MOUSE AND KEYBOARD! USE THE MOUSE AND KEYBOARD!”

It was painful to watch and hard to keep quiet. Things would have gone more smoothly had they put my three year old in charge of entering everyone’s data. One guy in overalls told his “old lady” that he made a mistake and started shaking the monitor like it was a goddam etch-a-sketch! Are you serious, Jethro!??


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2 Responses to Customer service, i miss you dearly…

  1. rebecca2000 says:

    Poor gal, you insulted her to her face and she didn’t even get it.

  2. donofalltrades says:

    Well, maybe not to her face, i was on one knee restocking packs of gum…lol.

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