FTSF – still shocked my wife said yes!

Alright, it’s time for another Finish the Sentence Friday post and I’m playing!

This one sort of sucks. The sentence that is asked to be finished is this:

When it comes to my past relationships, my partner/spouse thinks…


Well, were this question asked on the popular The Newlywed Game Show back in the day, the answer would probably look like this:

Damn, Bob Eubanks, help a brother out!

Damn, Bob Eubanks, help a brother out!

I assume that’s what my wife thinks, but I could be wrong. She’d be basing that on some number I gave her a long time ago.

We’ve been together, Wife and I, for 17 or 18 years now. We’ve only been married for 11, but for all intents and purposes, we’ve been married for 18 years.

That’s almost half my life with the same woman and you know what? My years with her have been the ones that have flown by.

I guess when you find the right person, you just know it. My wife and I met when we worked at the same restaurant and we started dating only because I was walking through the kitchen at the exact same time that she was on the phone (a landline I think) with her friend who was dissing her when she wanted to see Happy Gilmore.

I wanted to see Happy Gilmore too, so when I heard that her friend was standing her up, I jumped in and scored well beyond my abilities, as you can see below!

See, that's my beautiful wife that I don't deserve.

See, that’s my beautiful wife that I don’t deserve.

My before time relationships are not really something that Wife and I have ever discussed. I don’t know much about her previous boyfriends, and she doesn’t know much about my previous girlfriends.

I didn’t have very many girlfriends though, honestly.

My first relationship ended when I cheated on my girlfriend by having relations with her good friend I’d never met…

That’s not the worst part.

What, you say?

You want to know the worst part?




The worst part was that I was…..




Ok, I was 14.

Yup. 14 years old when a slightly older woman of almost 16 took my virginity and it turned out that she was friends with a girl I was dating at the time. The story about how it all happened is fairly fucked up too, but that’s not necessary.

The point is that it was the first of many awful relationships for me.

I didn’t date another person in high school at all. I always looked for a reason why I couldn’t date a woman like her ears weren’t level or she had a skin tag on her arm or her father didn’t drink. Whatever it took to break up with a woman, I could find that reason.

I didn’t have another semi-normal relationship until college, and those didn’t work out either. I wasn’t ready to be serious with my first one and the second one was crazy.

Then I met Wife.

I knew right away that she was the bombdiggety for me.

I had to try to sabotage the relationship though, so I moved 9 hours by car away to Dallas, Texas for a job, immediately upon graduation from college, but I still thought of her. I knew I would, but I needed to be sure I guess.

I spent 6 months in California with that same company and, this will surprise my wife I think, was looking for wedding bands in a mall pissed off at myself that I couldn’t afford any that she deserved. That was in 1998. We didn’t get married until 2002. I almost screwed it up, as she was ready and did give me an ultimatum at one point, but it was too late. I already knew I wanted to marry her, it was just a matter of being able to afford a ring she deserved. I finally got the ring.

She couldn’t give two shits about what the ring looked like, but I did good and we got engaged at Busch Stadium during a Cardinal’s playoff game.

While we never really talked about our past relationships too much, because honestly, why would people do that?

Wait. I mean really, if you love somebody, who cares if he or she dated other people in their past, you know?


The point is that I done good! I married the best of all my relationships and I wrote this post in 30 minutes or less for FTSF! Yay me!

Link up with the FTSF crew right here…

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65 Responses to FTSF – still shocked my wife said yes!

  1. This is so lovely. I hope you’ve shown it to your wife. She’ll be so chuffed. A beautiful testimony to the right one. Really. Your wife is beautiful and so is the precious bundle in her arms. Such a feel good post to wake to. Thanks for sharing. Thirty minutes well worth it. :)x

    • Chuffed…lol, I love it! Thank you, we’re both very lucky. Me for her and the kids, and her for the kids and sometimes me…I think she reads my blog sometimes, but she rarely tells me so…who hard to say.

  2. yay for you and your beautiful. love the love. πŸ™‚

  3. momtimes4 says:

    That’s a very sweet story. I like your art!!

  4. Your wife is beautiful Don and just so happy that you too have made it after all these years. But I think we all have our fair share of teenage (high school relationships). Well, at least I know I do and I think personally yes they do shape us, but they were so many years ago and just so happy that we have both gotten our happy endings from all of this. Thanks again for sharing with us and so happy you joined us once again!

  5. Christina says:

    While I’m extremely happy for you, I’m incredibly sad for me. But let’s stick to you. Congratulations and your wife is beautiful!

  6. I’m with you on being grateful for my spouse! We celebrate 24 years this weekend. πŸ™‚ We went to High School together so I know all of his old flames and he knows mine….

  7. Wow… you have a sappy side! Very sweet, Don.

  8. mistyslaws says:

    If I’ve heard one story about how Happy Gilmore brought to people together for a lifelong relationship . . . well, it was this one, I guess.

    And yes, she’s too good for you. But isn’t that how it usally works? How about a wedding picture, Don. I’m curious as to how you 2 crazy kids looked on that fateful day, all young and wide eyed and such.

    And no, if you are smart, you don’t discuss past relationships more than in broad strokes. Why would you? There is nothing gained form knowing details of your hubs/wife’s past sexual history. Therein only lies trouble.

    • I don’t know how wide eyed we were since we’d been together for several years already, but I’m sure I was several pounds lighter! I’ll have to see if I can find a picture. If you can’t fall in love by bonding over a mutual disdain for Shooter McGavin, then it’s just not meant to be.

  9. findingninee says:

    You did good. That photo is priceless. Also? Love the Newlywed game! My hubs was a whore, too. And you’re right. Who cares!?

  10. You’re up 5 points and the red headed lady looks really confused. I think that means you are on your way to a new washer/dryer set by the end of the show.

  11. I’m also a saboteur … when I realized my hubby was the guy for me, I broke up with him. I freaked out and didn’t know what else to do. Smart move, eh? Luckily when I explained my dumbassery, he took it well … it’s still a joke that comes up from time to time.

  12. I loved the Newlywed Show! I think they tried to bring it back, but not surprisingly it bombed. Love your story. Love the photo. Okay the drawing isn’t back either. πŸ˜‰ Congratulations on going strong after all these years. We are celebrating our 19th anniversary in December and are unfortunately one of the last in our group of friends from when we first got married. Thanks for sharing your story.

    • That’s sad about all your friends not still hitched. We have a few friends like that too and it always just feels too grown up or creepy to deal with. I couldn’t imagine it. Wife and I bicker about stupid crap like everyone does, but I think we both understand that once it’s over it’s over. Still love ya even though you can be a pain in the ass…lol.

  13. Nicely done and in less than 30. Well done. Seriously – the fact that you were able to zip this one off tells me your story is truly within your heart. You’re one lucky fella! Lovely photo of your wife. Did you thank the Happy Gilmor disser, by the way?

    • Thank you, Kelly! When the story tells itself, those are my favorite posts. Her and Wife were such good friends, but her diss was sort of one small diss among many and they’re not as close as they once were. Still friends at heart, but just grown apart a little bit. I do appreciate her contribution to my life though! lol.

  14. Awww….sweet and snarky, just my type of blog. Thanks for stopping over, I’ll be back πŸ™‚

  15. She is beautiful!! You ARE lucky. πŸ˜‰

  16. djmatticus says:

    Hooray for a good love story! πŸ˜€
    It’s amazing how things like that work out. You happened to walking through the kitchen at the right time… wonderful.

  17. Dana says:

    You did good, Don. After your reference to spelling whore correctly on the Facebook thread, I was quite curious as to what you were going to do…

  18. Carrie Rubin says:

    Sounds like you landed a good one. Now don’t screw it up… πŸ˜‰

  19. She’s beautiful.

    The Mister and I have known one another for…*maths* 26 years, so we know all the people the other dated, and often times, far too many details lol!
    Friends first, and all that πŸ™‚

  20. Cheryl says:

    Ya done good, Don! I want to know how you proposed.

    • Thanks, Cheryl. I basically got drunk at a baseball game and asked if she’d marry me while somebody from the Diamondback’s hit a home run to sink the Cardinals. Here’s the longer version though, I think. https://donofalltrades.com/2013/03/22/me-wife-us-no-tricks-necessary/

      • Cheryl says:

        **squeal** That is so awesome! My husband and I have been married for 28 years but he never actually proposed. We were eating ice cream in the Dairy Queen parking lot and he just said, “You know, it would be nice if I didn’t have to take you home to your parents’ place every night.” (Cuz living together and fornicating before you were blessed at the alter was frowned upon in the good old days in my neck of the woods). I said, “Yes it would.” And he said, “We’ll go ring shopping tomorrow.” Worked for me. LOL!

  21. Congrats on you for hitting the jackpot! Sounds like she got a prize, too. Now don’t let that compliment go to your head as you crack open your Bud Light Lime tonight.

  22. stephanie2006 says:

    Believe me, the true keepers (women) don’t really care about the ring, they just want the guy πŸ˜‰ Thanks for sharing that story!!

  23. Stephanie Sprenger says:

    Oh my GAWD, it’s not often that I snicker and say, “What?” out loud over and over when reading posts. But it happens frequently when I’m on your blog, I have to say. Good God, that was funny. And your wife is quite lovely- of course you don’t deserve her. Kidding, of course… πŸ™‚

  24. mollytopia says:

    So sweet! I love it! She is beautiful. And I can totally believe she said yes – you’re AWESOME! Congratulations on 17 years. My parents were married for 27 years, but it took 9 spouses between the two of them to get to that number. I just made that number up (the 27, not the 9). 27 is probably being generous. Hooray!

    • Lol. Oh Molly’s parents…how pleased I am that you created such a wonderful woman. Thanks as always, Ma’am! You’re pretty awesome yourself, but you know that. I mean you know that I think that, not that you think you are because you’re some sort of egomaniac. That’s what I meant.

  25. bethteliho says:

    THAT was entertaining! But also very sweet! You guys have been dating/married the exact number of years as me and my hubs. Together 17, married 12. We were married in 2001. And we also “just knew”. I love that. Great post!!

  26. She sure brings out the sweet in you.

  27. She is very beautiful! Love it that she gave you an ultimatum while you were trying to find the perfect ring. Initially I didn’t care about the ring either – loved it though when it was on my finger.

  28. Gorgeous post, Don. What a wonderful way to end up πŸ˜€

    The way you speak of your wife reminds me of that vid which went viral, of the guy coming out of anaesthetic, who didn’t realise that the woman filming him was his wife, and he fell in love with her all over again. Did you see that? It was awesome.

    • Lol, he’s lucky that was his wife!! I didn’t see that one, but I once fell in love with a dental hygienist when I was going under with the laughing gas. I was in high school, so she wasn’t interested I guess. Thank you, Lizzi, I appreciate the comment.

  29. Ned's Blog says:

    Wonderfully told, Don. Like you, I am madly in love with my wife and there are moments β€” and they come quite often β€” when I look at her in wonderment. But not for too long because I don’t want to press my luck. Cheers to the Bombdiggetys in our lives.

  30. Julie DeNeen says:

    Two things that are weird – One. We both married in 2002. Two. I have the same hair as your wife! LOL – You know, for all your potatohead and cucumber eyed bad assness, she looks remarkably normal (and beautiful). How did you score that? πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

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