Jasper picks Cotton…

I’m trying something different again. It’s a new writing challenge from the folks at Trifecta Writing Challenge.

The point of this one was to simply use a certain definition (i.e. urban dictionary related) of the word rain in a story that uses at least 33 and no more than 333 words.

So here it is:

Tired of hanging with people who sip beer like sissies, or who chug like men, but wear out before dark, I decided to do something about it.

I scoped out the local homeless hangout and watched in awe as people chugged cheap vodka and flavored wine beverages from bottles nestled inside brown bags used to shield the cops from seeing them drinking alcohol in public.

There were so many heavy boozers!

Should I choose the elderly gentleman with the Santa Clause beard?

No. He’s clearly crapped his pants.

Oh, what about that lady sitting near those cats?

I approached and, whoa, she smells like urine.

As I was watching the crowd, there was suddenly a commotion to my left. A huge, behemoth man was holding an older man high over his head and was spinning him like a helicopter propeller!

After several revolutions, the behemoth puked all over the front of his own shirt while dropping his human helicopter apparatus right on top of himself and causing the wind to be knocked from his lungs. As he lay on the bottom of the two man pile, moaning in pain, the older man began to laugh so infectiously that I had to choose him.

“Hello, Sir,” I said to the man. “My name is Jasper.”

“Like hell you say!” He yelled back unnecessarily loud. “Look at ‘em flip flop sandals! I’m callin’ you Floppy!”

I was wearing my flip flops.

It was hot and I find shoes oppressive.

“Floppy is fine, sir. What’s your name?” I asked, sounding overly eager.

“Ma friends call me Cotton, but you can call me, Cotton.”

“Ok! Cotton it is!” I agreed.

I explained my hope that we could hang out and he agreed, as long as I pay.

“I’ll pay, yes.”

“Good. We’s gonna make it rain yo money on bitches tonight. Just like this!”

He took several singles from his pocket, tossed them high in the air towards his giant friend and laughed.

“We’re even, Big Boy. “

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21 Responses to Jasper picks Cotton…

  1. Amber Perea says:

    You are awesome, my friend, just awesome. You really are creative, you just don’t know it. 😉

  2. Draug419 says:

    Just what is Jasper up to with Cotton? (:

  3. “He’s clearly crapped his pants.” OMG. . .I almost choked on my own spit!

    • Well, he’s an older gentleman without access to a nearby toilet at all times so, these things happen. It’s called real life. Our friend Mancakes is freshly pressed! Isn’t that cool? I fear she won’t want to hang out with us peons anymore though. I know I’d ditch me! Lol.

    • Funny! I did swing over and kick her in the crotch for getting a big slice of Freshly Pressed. Told that bitch I owe her a beer!! We’re gonna meet in Vegas, wanna come??

  4. Great writing – poignant – the interaction between thought and action is very real.

  5. 1tric says:

    Well done. Very different post. I enjoyed it especially your ending.

    • Thank you, ma’am! I appreciate your comment. Are you visiting home as we speak? If yes, I hope you’re enjoying yourself.

      • 1tric says:

        Everyone tucked up in bed. Enjoying a little extra tipple with my blogging friends without the tsk tsk of my mum. I so have her fooled… i think. Was slightly concerned you would misconstrue my “esp the ending” for “thank god thats finished!”

      • I didn’t go that far, but I did wonder if I’d missed some stealthily placed sarcasm. But, I went ahead and just assumed you were being 100% kind for a change.

  6. Well, that was quite a ride you took us on. I love the fresh perspective here. Thanks for linking up with Trifecta.

  7. Really good job on the descriptions of the homeless! There needs to be more of this story, would love tho see where you take it. visiting via Trifecta

  8. Jax Mully says:

    This is great! Thanks for making me laugh today – helicopter puker could become a regular character. I just discovered your blog (WordPress recommended it to me) and I’m already looking forward to reading more. Cheers.
    ~Andrea @ anearlystart.wordpress.com

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