Let’s get this over with, shall we? I’m told I must do the obligatory post Freshly Pressed post, so here it is.
Thank you to everyone who read and commented on the post. I’ve tried to respond to all of the comments and will continue to do so as they come in.
Many of you are here because you are regulars and wouldn’t bat an eye at me if I began writing a post here about wanting to drop kick my two year old son into the next time zone or if I went on a profanity laced tirade about some stupid fucktard in that white pickup truck who almost hit me while I was jogging this morning, yeah you, jerk!!
But, since my most recent post was Freshly Pressed, there are many new followers who are not sure how I roll. They must be addressed at some point, so why not now?
For my non-blogging buddies, Freshly Pressed just means that a recent post was sort of recognized as being something the editors thought was worth sharing on their featured posts page, so it got a lot of reads.
It wasn’t my most viewed post in a single day by far though still, as that was and will probably always be this sad bastard post that went viral a little bit on Facebook. After I wrote that post I was sort of torn between going back to being “funny” or carrying on with my somber writing like some sort of overly dramatic goth teen. In the end, I decided to just write whatever I felt like writing and be done with it. It’s part of the “all trades” theme, right? I’m not having any sort of trouble getting back into the groove after this most recent post, so fear not, I shall post funny soon!
Anyway, new people, thank you for choosing to follow me, but I wanted to come clean that I don’t always write about work related topics. In fact, it’s rare that I do. If police stories are your thing though, then there is a category called, oddly enough, police stories, just for you. Here’s one that I thought had a good chance of being Freshly Pressed after it appeared on the Black Box Warnings site.
I like to write about family, events or strangers that tickle my funny bone or that send me into some dimension of pissed off that’s probably irrational, but are certainly worth writing about. Check out the about page and the cast of characters to help follow along.
I also curse a bit, but I hope it’s not too much cursing for you to handle and certainly it’s never cursing just for the sake of cursing. Does that make any sense? I’m much better than I once was though, and it’s possible that profanity will be weened from my life forever at some point, but that point is not now.
I enjoy comments and will try to always respond to each one individually. I will also make every effort to visit your blog to see what you’re all about. I don’t follow all the blogs I read though, so don’t be offended if I don’t follow yours. If you write posts exclusively about why you think the color green is awesome, I probably won’t follow you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re a kickass person and appreciate you following me. However, everyone knows blue is the best color.
So with this quick thank you and welcome, I hope to not lose too many of you new followers and to better get to know many of you who do stick around. I consider many of the bloggers I’ve encountered “friends” in some perverse way, even though I’ve never met a single one of them in real life. It’s really been a great experience for me and I’m thankful to my wife for sort of encouraging me to start this blogging nonsense. It’s less nonsense that she has to hear directly from my mouth I guess.
Before I go though, I’d like to thank the following bloggers particularly and I think they’ll know why. Please read them as they are awesome:
- that cynking feeling – learning to live with a great autistic son is hard; share her journey
- a clown on fire – hey, he’s right that every day is fucking magical
- kissmeoutofdesire – she’s Australian and that’s always awesome! If you’re a single man, I think she’s taking applications for suitors too! She’s pretty, but she already has one cat so I’d hurry before she becomes that person with lots of cats…
don of all trades 
Yay! Congrats again fucktard!
Don’t ever change, Sunshine! And thank you. I can see the sincerity beneath the sarcasm you’re trying to use to mask your true feelings with.
You always see right through me 🙂
Don,
I’m here because you’re good looking. Don’t ever get ugly.
Le Clown
Thanks, Clown, you’re not a bad looking man yourself. Assuming you don’t smell like an ashtray, I’d like to give you nice bear hug someday.
Please make sure you invite all the rest of your blogging buddies to watch that.
Just keep rolling, Don. We (very much) like you, your humor, and your telling it just like it is. Kudos on the FP recognition!
Thank you, Eric, I always love your comments. It fascinates me that a nice man like you would read anything I have to say! Lol.
There’s a significant presumption in your thoughtful reply. 🙂 Wherever is what ‘nice men’ read checked? Well deserved recognition. Just pass on the drop kicks.
Whoa. I’ve been gone doing college crap. How did I miss this??
Congrats.
Don’t change. I like the good ole effin don.
And all the funny family stories. It’s who you are.
Do you have child all setup in school now? Thank you, ma’am, I have no inclination to change anytime soon. I hope all is well with you and your kin folk!
All in. Does the word B R O K E mean anything to you?
Hope all is well with you and yours!
Back to life…back to reality…
Well, at least it was fun while it lasted, right?
It was fun while it lasted, yes! It’s nice to be able to relax though too. I waited for a bunch of negative comments that never really materialized.
Well that’s good! That would always be my concern with being FPed- haters gonna hate.
Not that I ever have to worry about that, but anyway…
Freshly Pressed is wonderful … it opens you up to an entirely new and sophisticated world of spammer/followers. I hope that “dubaicallgirls” follows you … because that will make you world famous, just like me! (They are, I guess, “allah-way girls” … that is such a bad joke, I would never tell it on my blog, but clearly I have no problem messing up yours with it.) So glad to have found you and your words in the ether …
I haven’t found the dubaicallgirls yet, but there are a couple other spammers that have become friendly! I’m glad I found you as well. I mean I’m not a yoga person, but anyone who loves baseball is kickass in my book.
I used to work as a clerk for L.A.P.D. in the Wilshire station and then in Downtown L.A. Some of the stories I’ve heard from those officers were fierce but on the flip side, I had some officers tell me that in the many years they’ve worked for L.A.P.D. they only had to pull their gun a few times. It was just a chance with whatever call they got. At the Wilshire Station, I saw my fair share of bad guys since our clerk stations were only feet from the holding cells and holding bench. The most memorable to me was the guy who started bleeding out (A LOT) right in front of me…blegh. Also, the many drunkards in the cells who would cuss at me from their cells probably because they saw I was a civilian worker. But that wouldn’t last long as an officer would be right there yelling at them to not address me. I used to feel so protected 😛
But I could never be an officer. I would not be able to separate the stuff you guys see and not have it hit me hard. I’m a very emotional person. My older sister was an officer in Visalia, CA for many years. She isn’t anymore though not because she didn’t like it but because she just wanted to do something new.
We are very protective of our civilians around the prisoners and especially so around the ladies. Be respectful and your stay will be that much sweeter. Thank you, Claudia!
When I read your post was FP and saw which one, I did think it will be mighty confusing to new followers if they don’t scroll back to see what sort of an eejit you usually are. As for your comments, you didn’t clarify that you never have anything nice to say!
I suppose it’s time to say “well don Don”. Delighted for you. I suppose this is your new excuse to stop the baby marathon training! 🙂
I’m fairly nice to most people. I only harass my favorites, so you and Alicia and Arden are near the top of my list, lol. Eejit. God I love your funny language.
Thanks you gobshite!
What?!! YOU were jogging this morning?! SHUT UP!
I know, right? 5:15 am I left the house. I even had a headlamp on like a total douche since I run on 55mph two lane highways.
Bahahahaha! And you didn’t post a pic of THAT, why?!
[I’m proud of you, I guess…]
Would have loved to see that picture…LOL!
Blue? Would that be dark blue in a nice, sweaty poly-wool blend that brings out the shine in a new set of handcuffs?
Poly-wool sounds uncomfortable actually. I’m partial to regular blue, if that’s a thing! Maybe even sky blue.
Congrats on the FP! (See? Even my comments are lazy today.)
You need better shoes. Maybe a nice cross training number?
I do have those for exercise. And I always wear Jesus sandals in the summer. So I’ve got some class…
You were FPed and I missed it? I guess I already read the post before you were famous. Anyway, good job, Don.
Thanks, Goldie! You’re a sweetheart.
You’re supposed to do a post-freshly pressed post? About having been freshly pressed? Uh-oh. Where are these rules kept?
It may not be a rule so much as a cop out to have something to blog about. It’s never too late!
Don’t ever stop fucking cussing or I’m gone, y’hear me knob head?! 😉 x
Knob head. I love it! I must steal it. Consider your wish my fucking command! Thanks, sista!
🙂
yay you! that was such a strong, emotional piece! so congrats. i am pleased to say,i appreciated that just as much as your crazy cursing stories of nonsense. fabulous nonsense. keep on trucking. or writing. and running. and never forget to enjoy a good cone. 🙂 ICM
Thanks ICM! I do love a good sugar cone dipped in some chocolate. Good stuff! I have been good about getting my runs in for three weeks now so here’s hoping it continues.
Grats on the Freshly Pressed, I must’ve missed that one. Going back to check it out now.
Thank you, sir! You’re forgiven as you have your hands full with the ladies of the house, I’m sure. Hope all is well.
At last — an FP I can totally agree with. Well done and well deserved!
Awe, thanks Barb. You’re the bestest!
Still trying to figure out who you gotta blow to get Freshly Pressed!! hahaha ❤ you Don, your choice in beer, not so much. 😉
I was pretty drunk miss, I couldn’t give you the who…
lol
You’re wonderful and popular and I promise never to call you Don. Again.
Lol. Is the cool girl screwing with me again?
Yeah, quit writing all that serious shit… FP is a fun ride though, huh?
It is! You people give me renewed hope in humanity you’re all so damned cool!
So wonderful, Don! That post was awesome. I go away for a week and look what happens??? You get pressed!! We’ll still like you even though you are famous now.
I know, right!? Pfft, if I’m so famous why did I have to cook dinner and do the dishes as usual tonight?
Congrats! Loved the post! We’re Freshly Pressed buds! 🙂 Holla!
Booya! The cool kids talk to me now!! Nice work on the show today, BTW. You don’t miss a chance to show those guns, do you? In case them bitches thought about actin’ up I guess.
Don, Congrats on FP’d blagh blah blah. etc. Thank you mostly for using your new found fame to find me a boyfriend. This is why you are awesome. Fuck everything else.
Thank you, Daile. This may be my easiest pimp gig ever depending on how far you’re willing to travel for love.
Thanks for the shout out. Oh wait, that wasn’t for me. I knew you before you could string together two fucking paragraphs. Now someone throws and Fresh Pressing and a half rack of Bud Lime in the ring and I’m OUT.
Oh yeah, congratulations.
Yeah, that and you’ve become married and stale…Lol.
OWCH!
Congrats on the FP. It was well deserved and about time. It’s tough because it does happen on posts that are out-of-character. It was in my experience too.
If you’re up for changing that you’ve never met a one of us in real life, then the next time I’m in STL we should meet for lunch or a BLL.
Thanks, Melanie! That sounds great. Let me know.
Am a new drop byer. Is that a word? Look forward to reading some of you older posts.
Yay new dropper byers! Thanks for doing so. Good luck reading the older stuff, it’s mostly garbage, but hey, one man’s trash, right??
CONGRATS! And I am so glad to see my inbox filling up with your posts to read again! Yay! ;D
Thanks Sweetness, it’s great to hear from you! I mean to compliment your recent photo app related post but got distracted at work as usual! Talk soon!
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!! Your Tear Free Soccer post was like a beautiful warm hug of emotion for me. Loved it. Thank you for bringing me back to a wonderful time in my life. Well done, sir!!
Thank you! You have your own little league memories I take it? I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I like to complain, but I love coaching the wee ones. Shhhhh.
“…and it’s possible that profanity will be weened from my life forever at some point.”
And you said this post wasn’t one of your humorous ones.
Haha, good point, sweet Jules! Please bring that Peppermeister of yours through my way soon. I must drink a beer with him!
Wait, wait, WAIT… YOU were freshly pressed?!? YOU who was whining back in May about never being freshly pressed?!? Squeaky wheel…
Just kidding, huge congrats to a very deserving post. And remember that I will ALWAYS want to read a post about you wanting to drop-kick your 2 yo. Can you swing by my place and get my 6 yo while you’re at it!
Your response was #69 to this post so GIGGITY to you! Lol. I don’t know that I was whining so much as I was complaining? Whatever! Thank you and yes! I love to drop kick strange kids too!
I will accept that giggity and… WHOA… how did you know my kids are strange? Creepy…
Congratulations! So now that you’re famous, if you become a total douche, I will no longer like you. Just saying. But I’m sure you won’t become a total douche. Because awesome people like me will come over and say “hey fucktard! you’re being a douche!” Cool?
Hooray Freshly Pressed! How did I miss that? I guess my head was lodged in my own ass that day. Which post was FP’d? I’m guessing the letter to the jackass you stopped for violating mutliple laws who whined when you wrote her the tickets? Either way, CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Lol, so I guess I never responded to this comment, which is strange because you are literally my most favorite blogger person in the world. Well, you’re top 5 for SURE! Swear that’s the truth, yo! Okay, talk to you soon and thank you for being my friend.
Top 5 – hooray!!! You know I’m your biggest fan : ). Even though I’m miserably behind in all things blog related…You’re the best-keep up the great work Dr. FP!
Massive congratulations on being Freshly Pressed – and as a fairly recent follower, I bloody love the cut of your jib 😉
Thank you, Becky and/or stickman! Everything about this comment rules. Especially the bloody.
Lucky for you I curse often as well. I have tried to limit my self to 2 but… Well were still striving for 2. I like all colors so I’ll see you on my blog HA!!!! Cop stories… well I wouldn’t want to read about a nurses day… or a musicians day for that matter (which is why I don’t post much) SSSOOO kick ASSS away…. wait what’s the pronoun on that… asses what ever!
Dude. Love your writing style.
You had me at fucktard. I am hooked.
I’ll stick around this time, promise! I think I followed you under a different name, and I know we interacted on a guest post that I did one time on another blog. I am glad that I found you again!
Blue? Fucking blue? Hell no. Everyone knows that PURPLE is the best color ever!
I’m starting to question why I like you so much, Don. It sure ain’t the Bud Light Lime, you jackhole. 😉
Cuz I’m pretty?
Don, I can’t believe I missed your FP! I have been soooo out of it this summer. Big, huge, honkin’ congratulations. How are you handling the post-FP-back-to-sucky-stats-blues?
Missed the FP. Congrats. Off to read it now.
You were Freshly Pressed?! Yay! I have to check that thing more often. 😉 Congratulations!
And please excuse me while I weep myself to sleep. 😉
Kidding, of course, it was a brilliant piece and long overdue. 🙂
Congrats on being freshly pressed AND making the Men of WordPress calendar – all in one month! I read your letter to Tech or part of it and wanted to read more. I run into folks like jane q. public more than I’d like and I really enjoyed reading your FP post, I’m hooked.
Haha congrats! Did it really boost your views and followers? We are also trying to get pressed, but so far not succesful! 😉
http://lordsofthedrinks.wordpress.com/2013/08/26/lotd-goes-to-war-again-lets-get-freshly-pressed/
Came to read your post-post specifically, Don, as I have one planned for the morning. I liked it! Mine is probably a tad unconventional and rambly but that’s kinda me these days. Should be fun.
Thanks for your support over there. Figured since we’ve got a few mutual friends, I’d drop by and say hi!
Take care, Christy
I may be one of the few new readers who did NOT get here because your were FP’d – never read ’em anymore, since I clicked a few and scratched my head at what WP considered “worthy.”
To my mind, Freshly Pressed is certainly a clever marketing strategy for WordPress, but I’m not sure what it does otherwise — besides discourage a lot of other writers languishing in relative obscurity, writing wonderful posts that are worth reading (encouraging them to write for what I consider the wrong reason).
FreshlyPressed also strikes me as incongruent with recent WordPress actions — shutting down blogs with “too many” likes, follows, and reblogs as “spammers,” refusing to revisit for redress or get specific about “limits.” WTF?! (I have a thing for integrity/congruence)
DESPITE their scare tactics, like you, I do my best to make time to check out anyone who follows my blog and will continue to do so. I “like” articles that strike my fancy – sharing with readers from my sidebar. I follow back all but those that would make no sense to – or offend – my other readers (no judgment personally – mainly the self-marketing and/or sex sites, etc.)
Most of my own posts have been written to support ADD/EFDers – so my eyes caught your link to the mom of autistic son – which I will investigate. Thanks!
Long story longer – I got to your “Dear Jane” through a reblog by a recent follower, then clicked to this post and was moved to comment on THAT one .
IMPRESSIVE by any standard of measure – and certainly “worthy” of being read widely, IMHO. Your writing is wonderful, strong language never bothered me in that context, and I will now click “follow.” (oh yeah, congrats, btw).
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
– ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
“It takes a village to transform a world!”