I followed a trail of blood up the concrete steps as Deja vu overtook my thoughts.
I’d been here before, just a few short months ago, doing the same exact thing, following a trail of blood to an open front door.
As was the case then, on this night there had been another call for shots fired heard coming from the street.
A trail of blood, an open door and no body to be found.
Just like last time, the person was taken to the hospital by a friend, so we wait to hear from the hospital when they make their mandatory call about somebody coming into the emergency room with bullets in their body.
As I was checking the house for another injured or dead person, I couldn’t help but notice that the house was exactly as it had been before.
There was no furniture in the living room and there was trash all over the place. Paper plates with leftover food and cigarette butts littered the kitchen counter. The upstairs was where the televisions and furniture were kept. When you live in fear of drive by shootings, upstairs is the safer place to spend most of your time.
As I was leaving the kitchen, my eyes were drawn to the floor by a cockroach scurrying over a button, the kind that you can pin to your shirt to announce things like, “I voted” or “I gave blood!”
This button had a picture of Michael Brown on it and the words “Justice for Mike Brown” or some similar message around the photo.
There was something queer about the button being on this particular kitchen floor on this particular night, surrounded by roaches and drops of blood and dog shit as well.
I shook my head and left the house satisfied that nobody was dead or injured inside.
Just outside of Ferguson, life is going on.
The shootings and robberies and burglaries and car accidents and domestic incidents are still happening, and people are still calling for the police to come help them.
People still need our help, and we’re still providing it.
I’ve received many messages from people around the world asking me if I’m alright, asking whether or not I’ve been in Ferguson.
I am fine and I was up there for a little bit, yes, though not on the front lines of the chaos.
There seems to be a perception, outside of this area, that it’s a war zone here, that the whole region is in shambles.
I can see how a person might think such a thing. I mean, God forbid the national media folks take their cameras outside of the immediate area where all the trouble is happening to see that life is still being lived by decent folks, even just outside of Ferguson.
Just outside of Ferguson, here in St. Louis, I watched as several black kids played basketball in the street. They were the same kids I had watched playing ball several weeks ago.
The were playing with a basket that had a net attached to it. That’s a novelty in the city.
Several weeks ago, however, long before anyone knew who Mike Brown was, I watched as they bickered and argued and almost got into a fist fight, as young boys sometimes do, over whether or not a shot had gone through the rim or not.
“It went in,” I said from the car.
“Awe, NO WAY!” The defending boys protested.
“You need new glasses,” one of the boys shouted in jest.
He was probably right, but the ball had gone through the hoop, I was sure of it.
“And you boys need a new net,” I replied.
I got a call right about then and had to go. As I drove off, one of the boys asked me if I’d get them a net. I promised I would and left for my call.
A few days went by and I’d forgotten to get the net. I felt bad, so I drove around North St. Louis looking for a basketball net. Unbelievably, it’s difficult to find such an item in the area where I patrol.
Poverty and crime aren’t great assets for areas looking to woo businesses, so I had to venture into the County, towards Ferguson, ironically.
On a Saturday morning, I finally went to a Walmart and bought several nets. I went back to where the boys had been playing and got out of my car and started to walk to the netless rim.
As I was walking towards the rim, a man in a red Camaro parked right in front of the basket put his hands out the window and said, “I ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong, officer. Just waitin’ on my girl.”
It’s sad that he assumed I was headed to him, but I get why.
“I didn’t say you were doing anything wrong, partner. Carry on with your day,” I told the man.
Thankfully, the rim wasn’t set at the 10 foot regulation height, so I could reach it without having to balance on something.
I started to put the net on the rim and the guy in the Camaro got out and walked over.
“You bought that net?” He asked.
“I certainly didn’t steal it,” I joked. “I told the kids I would bring one a couple of weeks ago, so I’m making good on my promise finally.”
“Awe hell, that’s really cool.” He said.
He came over to the rim, grabbed the other side of the net and helped me put it on. We shook hands, thanked each other and went about our days.
As I watched the kids playing basketball the other day, one of the boys asked me if I was the cop who bought the net.
“Yep. It’s been a few weeks now and I’m still waiting to hear somebody say thank you.” I was just being sarcastic, but I’ll be damned if every last one of those little buggers didn’t immediately say thank you right then and there.
I was given the honor of a couple of shots with a ball that had no air in it and proceeded to chuck an air ball and what I believe is still called a brick before hanging my head in shame and leaving the kids to their game. I looked to the porch and got a smile from one of the adults, maybe one of their moms, and I smiled back. Smiles are small victories to me. They probably laughed at me, but if they did, they had the courtesy to wait until I left, at least.
The boys weren’t concerned with what was going on in Ferguson because they were too busy being little boys.
Most of the other people I’ve dealt with aren’t consumed by it either.
The Subway clerk was still friendly and didn’t spit on my sandwich.
An old woman took my hand in a parking lot and asked to pray with me. I’m not normally into such things, but in times of crisis, being open to anything can only help. She asked Jesus to lift me up and help me be just and fair and to remain safe as I do God’s bidding.
I don’t know about all that, but I was glad for the prayer. She was the second person to ask if they could pray with me in a week. It hadn’t happened, that I can remember, in the fifteen years prior I’ve done this job.
I’m still responding for calls about accidents and shootings and assaults and everything we always deal with.
Life goes on, even when there’s chaos.
Crime never takes the day off, and may even become worse when there’s chaos.
Still, I am responding and I am helping and I am hoping, just like I believe the citizens are, that the mess in Ferguson is resolved soon.
We hope all this violence isn’t for nothing.
Something has to change, and change for the better.
Shame on all of us, if we let this pass and we don’t become better people for having endured it.
That’d be a real shitter.
For my part, I’m going to just keep doing the best job I can.
To start, I’m going to buy a basketball and fill it with air.
I’ll bring it to some boys who have a basket with a net, but no air in their ball.
It’s a little thing, but it’s something I hope will help to build trust and healing and keep them from growing up scared of the police.
It’s the least I can do out here, just outside of Ferguson.
don of all trades 
Awesome post and thank you for your service.
I agree
I am so glad to read your blog….thank you my friend, for your service. And you are doing what we all should be doing. Applying our love to who we are. You, are in the majority of the good people, but don’t get any coverage of what you do. But, you know, you don’t need it…..you are happy to do it, and the children and adults are happy to see you do it. And the most important one to see it, is our Lord and Creator. And I think it was Mother Teresa who said, “In the end, God is the one you have to please”. Thank you again, for your insight …….
Very touching. Stay safe.
All the small things eventually add up. Awesome.
Thank you a million times over–Which is not enough for all the H3LL you are put through.
🌟🌟🌟 You. Are. Awesome. 🌟🌟🌟
Sincerely,
Mancakes
By the way, if there were still a Mancakes Man of the Week post every Friday, it would totally be about you as well as the police officers throughout the country that work and live to create community, like you do, sir. Quite simply: you inspire.
Don’t know you, but proud of ya!
God bless your efforts to brighten the corner where you are.
Really solid writing, deserving of a broader audience.
very beautiful piece .. thanks
Thank you for writing, for your kindness, and for bringing humanity to light.
Thank you for making a difference and Godspeed.
My son just got a job in law enforcement. All the anger at the police in Ferguson has worried me so much because I was starting to feel like his life could be horribly irrevocably altered in one life or death decision down the road. Thanks for this! You’ve reminded me that the streets can still be full of small moments of happiness and peace.
Sundance, somewhere today I read a post from an officer in the policemen’s association or brotherhood. You know I’m lousy at citing another post properly. It was saying what all Officer Wilson didn’t know when he pulled up to “Big Mike.” He compared it to the police officers who did routine stops that netted Ted Bundy, Timothy McVeigh, and Eric Rudolph. All of these offenders were extremely dangerous and were arrested by alert officers just doing their job. He also named officers killed in the line of duty. It was just so meaningful when you think of the encounter with Big Mike and how it could have turned out so differently.
Hi, guys. I’m not usually posting so late at night. I meant to post this on theconservativetreehouse. Sundance has your article at the top of his page right now. Great article and forgive me for bursting in on you like this. 🙂
Good to see policing in the manner of my youth. Thanks for all you do for your community. Keep them and yourself safe .
This is such a powerful post – so beautifully written, and so fascinating to read amongst the dramatic national media floating to us across the pond. Good for you.
GOD bless you and all the police officers that are out there working to keep us safe. I pray GOD keeps you all safe and lets you return home everyday to your families.
Most encouraging thing I’ve read since this all started. Thank you!
Agreed excellent post, thanks Sundance for sharing. Thank you to the officer who wrote this to actually put things in perspective. There is still some good out there and just maybe we might have a chance. If only….
Thank you for your service to the community, Sir.
Good job, officer!
I always can’t help but wonder, what would I do if I were there? Would I be chanting put my hands up or praying a vigil or if I were a police officer would I be holding the line peaceably or would it be such chaos that I would do something that could hurt someone else in an effort to protect the masses? Or nothing? Like most of the people, would I just do nothing (which is its own rotten something)? But this? I hope that I would buy a kid a net and a ball. May we all buy the kid a net and a ball.
(Although I would prefer to make the basket, Don.)
Amazing post.
Even over here in the Cintucky region we’re feeling the strain of Ferguson. Yesterday a detective and I responded for a kid who was cutting her arm up pretty good with a knife. Without going through the whole situation, she attacked at us, and we had to control her. It ended without any injuries, and her self-inflicted wounds were treated before she was taken to the hospital. By the end of it, we had a few people who only saw the part where we handcuffed her tell us that they were watching us, and this was a prime example of the violence in the police forces. One guy tried to tell the kid’s mom he would be a witness in her lawsuit, and she just started at him hard before telling me that last time it took 6 big guys to hold the kid down, and the detective and I did a great job. Everywhere cops are doing the things they’re supposed to, and we’re all being judged against a situation that doesn’t always apply. There’s no comparing a proper control technique by two officers to using military grade weapons and vehicles to control protestors. Sorry. The point is, my partner is stressed because of how that whole situation /looked/…and when our officers have to worry more about how they look to the people watching, then about keeping everyone from getting hurt, one of the cops will die. But, I guess that’s fine. It’s all good when the police die isn’t it?
Officer Wilson appears to have done it by the book. Most people are very badly misinformed about the facts if the incident.
The original incident, as it’s coming out now, sounds fine. It’s the response afterward that made things spiral. But we all know that the news has worn the story out…how many people are going to pay attention now that the Officer was justified?
It is never good when a cop or anyone dies.
Pretty much my point. Yeah. No one wants to see anyone get hurt, let alone die… but the death of a cop never sparks much reaction outside of the police community… and then when a cop is forced to make that difficult split-second decision, they get dragged through the murk and mire for the rest of their career over it. Even when the decision was found to be “justified”… as in even a citizen would have been in a position to use deadly force to survive the situation…
But the brotherhood cops have you would not disclose if a cop was crooked because you would be banned from the force.
Hmmm… I know that there are some places where they can get away with those kind of things… but any more, with the open records and public “eye in the sky” kind of watchdogging of the police forces… if there are crooked cops in a department, it’s only because the community allows it to continue. I’d like to be in the kind of world where I could shut that kind of commentary down and put that to rest right out, but I can’t. I’m sorry that I can’t. But, just like with any other line of work, it’s not fair to judge the whole of the policing profession based on the ‘bad apples’ really out there, or perceived to be out there… If one were to work in sales, and they did their job right, worked hard to balance making money for the business and treating the customer right, but they constantly have to struggle against those “crooks” who “sell crap product and are never responsive to the point of abusive to the customers”… well, that’s basically the same situation isn’t it? Treating all police like they’re out to commit a crime is like treating all sales reps like they’re Verizon Wireless employees – rude, unapproachable, and abusive toward customers… and that’s not even fair, because it’s only the people at the local store front here that are like that…the lady I worked with on the customer service line was awesome. So, yeah, examples are fun.
that response kinda got away from me. I hope it makes some sense.
Cops are held to higher standards than a verizon rep.
Its all still a job… Cops are all still people. Higher standards are in place. Doesn’t mean that there won’t be people who slack off, do the bare minimum, don’t show up, or who go above and beyond, donate spare time, show up early, leave late, etc.
Police the police. If you know it is going on have integrity and report your own cops. That is a stronger paper trail than any. Yes you might be black logged from police departments if others find out you are the whistle blower. But you stood for what us right instead of shifting the responsibility to the people. Keep in mind you are still “the people”.
So even though they are human, there is no reason to abuse the badge. Stop taking up for this new world order sir.
Uh. I missed where I said they could abuse the badge. I’m very much in the mind set of: Do your job right, train right, and work with integrity, and then it doesn’t matter how many citizens flash a camera phone in your face…
We haven’t met, sir. You don’t know me. I don’t know you. I’m willing to have a conversation. But don’t make assumptions on me and I won’t on you.
This is for your brothers in blue. Who take the badge and abuse it. I served our country proudly United States Marine Corps, so i know they are trained to protect. Citizens are not terrorist, unless armed a deadly weapon. Not a knife 50 feet away.
Thank you for your service, first off.
I can’t answer for other areas… In the state I’m trained in, we are trained to / and legally consider a knife a deadly weapon… and we are given 15ft or greater to take appropriate force action as necessary.
I don’t like playing the arm chair judge and saying “I would’ve done it better/different” and “It would’ve gone this way or that”… It’s like another recent situation where an officer was shot because he confronted a felon with a shotgun…the family told the media that the officer “wouldn’t have gotten shot if he stayed in the car”. No one knows that for sure. Police are expected to act in those situations. There’d be huge fallout if that officer had stayed in his car, backed out and drove away, and that guy with the shot gun went on to shoot his neighbor…and that officer wouldn’t have a job. Can’t have it both ways. Can’t have officers who turn and run at potentially deadly confrontations because they want to live or they don’t want to hurt someone. At the same time, can’t have officers who will pick the perfect peaceful resolution every single time. It’s up to better men than me to determine whether the right action was taken by the officer.
Do something spiritual and enlighten people about this. Help change the problem of racist cops. If there are black, brown, purple or pink people, and it is known they rob banks in your community. When you see a brown, black, purple or pink person then you will stereotype them as bank robbers and harass them as such.
I try to do my part. And I do make an effort to call-out, essentially shame, officers I work with who make comments about race or income level.
Again, just like anywhere, you’re never going to clear anything entirely of bias. Everyone comes into their career with some bias…and, just like in testing in the science field, there’s that risk of finding what you want to find just because you’re looking specifically for it… whether it’s true or not. So, if you view all of us as social scientists, basically, some people go out into the world and see exactly what they want/expect to see from someone of a different race/culture/income…and they find that to be justifying to do their own stereotyping. This is where cops come in just like any one else in any other field. Ideally, all cops all over the nation would be able to put that aside and just do their job and do it properly… but, just like anyone else, there are those who can’t. And, yes, there is a sub culture in policing that can promote those mentalities if left unchallenged.
Which does seem incurable! Yes. BUT it is TOTALLY CURABLE! (I’m only using caps because there’s no italics on here… I’m not yelling…just accentuating…sorry).
Basically, with the improved hiring practices of many agencies, the far more open and visible nature of the work, the constant watching of the police by the communities they work in, and the inevitable dying out/retiring out of those officers from the “good ol’ boys” days – things really are improving!
So how does the community help in holding the police accountable?
Well. It’s not by testing the officer on the street. That creates tensions, wastes everyone’s time, and can “go south” quickly. Instead, record the interaction if you feel that has to happen (though, most officers are also required to record all their interactions to begin with… if that’s not happening in your city, it’s time to demand that it become a thing), be polite – if the officer’s not being polite with you, then continue to be polite…take the higher ground!, make an official complaint with the officer’s supervisor. That can be just calling in and reporting it, but if you really want something done, going to the department and filing an actual written complaint is the way to ensure that a paper trail has been created (police love paper… yeah… sorry…Just trying to joke a little here). Every dept is different…just like the communities are different. Where I work, we are far more responsive to the community, and accountable for any complaint that comes in…we are required to show our videos to prove we did nothing wrong, not assumed innocent right away. That responsiveness is really on the rise throughout my area at least – I would hope throughout the rest of the nation too.
Be an involved community with your police department and help mold your agency into a group of officers that you can be proud of and that you want patrolling where you live! There are ways, and many of them just require caring enough to get involved.
Maybe not you personally but cops do this, and they are trained to do this.
Oh, hey, I have enjoyed this conversation. You bring up valid concerns. I hope I was able to answer to some of them?
What a wonderfully written article, and such a strong message. The only way to improve this horrible situation is to promote PEACE, RESPECT rather than those who promote violence and vengeance to promote their own agenda, at the price of innocent citizens. Bravo for your everyday bravery and kindness, your actions are the kind that reverberate through the generations you’ve touched. Thank God for folks like you, stay safe!
Sometimes when people do not react to peace, violence is a means to bring peace. Ask our military the do it everyday. They use violence against terrorist to stop terrorism. Use violence against the terrorist cops and they will stop. There are more citizens than cops
🙂
Wow so much love!!!! What a wonderful read…. heart warming and inspiring! Mostly about the Subway lady who didn’t spit in your sandwich 😉
You make a difference in the world, hope you know that 🙂
Awesome post DOAT. Very inspiring on this Wednesday 🙂 Great stuff and such a great perspective from an officer of the law (ha).
I admire both the way you wrote this and the way you wear your badge. Well done.
This is a wonderful post. Thank you for giving us a snapshot of the moments that not only affect you, but that influence a positive change. As small as those steps may be, they are still steps forward. Thank you for all you do 🙂
What a wonderful post . Its great to finally hear something positive while all this mess is going on. Thank you for your service and stay safe.
Touched my heart deeply. God Bless You
A ray of sunshine in a sea of anger…..thank you for your service. You write beautifully and my heart goes out to you.
I like this.
Thanks for what you do to keep the city safe. Be careful out there!
From a Vietnam vet ,thanks sir!
Thank you, this was wonderful to read on this day in a week of so much hate and violence. Stay Safe and thank you so much for choosing to be the good in this world.
You’re what being law enforcement is all about. Actually caring for what is behind the badge and what it stands for. Not just cause you are wearing one. My husband is a veteran of 28 yrs, doesn’t have to be the center of attention type but always made it right type; a lot like you sir, and I thank you for your continued service.
This is a wonderful post, Don. So full of heart and honesty and kindness. I hope that we are all doing our part to live, to really live, despite everything that goes on around us.
MAN… if only there were more cops like you. You are making the world a better place!
Beautiful.
“We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights . . .”
The primary purpose of the government (We the People) is to defend each person’s life, liberty, and property. Most of that has been delegated to the police and military, but we need to remain mindful that it is ultimately our duty to our fellow human beings, whom our Creator has enjoined us to love, which DOAT has exemplified here. It was not his “official” duty to provide a net, but he did so out of love for his fellow human beings.
You’re a decent cop working among decent people, and I appreciate your need to share that perspective in the context of the explosion of chaos in your part of the world, and all over the media. I would just add that less than two weeks ago, Ferguson also occupied that space “just outside of Ferguson”… and just a few years ago, Mike Brown was one of those kids shooting hoops. And it is necessary for us to remember that this current nightmare began when an indecent cop murdered an innocent kid, in cold blood, in broad daylight – and with shocking disregard for the value of life, the people and the community which you take such pride in serving. Sadly, the existence of decent people does not negate the horribly tragic impact of monsters such as Darren Wilson.
Reblogged this on Creating My Dream Life and commented:
Excellent input Don. Thank you for sharing!! I’m a few hours south of St. Louis and I can tell you that the picture the media is painting is not a pretty one. God bless you!
Reblogged this on lifestories19.
You got Freshly Pressed!!! YAY!!! great post!
Found your blog today through twitter. Have enjoyed reading your post, especially this one. Keep finding hope in the job. It’s essential. After 23 years, I couldn’t take the negative anymore. Retired and recuperating. Life is good again. Thanks for writing.
I really love this. I’m so tired of all the hate and negativity being reported. It’s as if the media enjoys it and is nurturing it for some horrid reason. I know we can do better and sir, you are the perfect example that we can.
i dont care what Eric Holder says, You Are The Man!
This gave me shivers, Don! You took us inside your world and gave us hope.
Ironically, your blog showed up on the “You may like.” I checked out this post and then found it Freshly Pressed. Congratulations!
Reblogged this on CARPE BAM and commented:
EXCELLENT.
Don–this post–this is not a brick.
Thank you.
Great blog