Carly doesn’t get much love around here so the Daily Prompt for the day was the perfect time to write a pretty stupid post about a pretty stupid dog. Well, she’s stupid like a fox, I guess.
“Woof! Woof!!!” C’mon people, I’m tired of being in this crate! It’s 7:15 A.M on a Saturday, let’s get a move on!
“Carly, shut up!”
Awe, that’s bogus. What the fuck? I’m ready to start my day!
Hey, who’s that?
Jojo? Yes, Jojo, come here! Bring your old yellow lab ass over here and let me out of this crate!
Come on! What? What are you doing? No, Jojo, don’t just lie down on the floor! What the fuck?! Why aren’t you in a crate too, anyway?!! You bitch!
“Carly, NO!! Shut the fuck up!”
Awe, man! I guess I’ll lay back down for a bit.
Shhh, what’s that? Oh, it’s that G$ creature crying! He’s awake!
Hey, why don’t you yell at him to shut up, Don!!??
“Shut up, Carly! I’ll be down for you in a minute.”
Ok, here he comes down the steps carrying G$. Alright, let me out now! Let me out!
“Carly, you wanna go potty?”
Fuck yeah! I’ve been in this crate all damn night! Let me out!
“Ok girl, come on, let’s go pee.”
Whooooo! Freedom!!! Whooo!!!! I’m running! I’m running! I’m running around the house full speed!!! Whooooo!!!!
“CARLY!!! Settle down!!”
Pffffft! Fine, I’ll go outside this time. Hey what’s with the cord attached to my collar? I won’t go anywhere but the immediate, oh LOOK, a squirrel!
I’m running! I’m running! I’m running!!! AAAAck! My neck! Dog down! Dog down! What the fuck? Oh right, the cord! Dammit.
“Stupid ass dog.”
Shut up, Don! Stupid human!
“Woof!!” Next time, squirrel!!
Alright, back inside! What’s going on here. Oh my God, Jojo is eating! Jojo is eating and I’m not! Ahhh! I’m running! I’m running! I’m running around the house full speed!!!
Sorry! Sorry about that!
Oh my gawd, I want to eat! I want to eat!!! Feed me!!
“Here, I have some food for you right here, dog.”
OH MY GOD, YES!!!!
Yes! It’s the same food I’ve eaten twice a day for the seven months I’ve been alive!! I Love it!! I’m jumping! I’m Jumping! I’m jumping!!!
“Carly, stop jumping!!”
Sorry dude! Nomnomnomnom, oh, this is so good! Watch me eat this in four seconds! Whooo! Fuck you, JoJo I beat you eating our food!
Sweet, now I’m going to walk around and sniff everything and everywhere. What’s this? What’s that? Oh a ball!
Oh, that’s not one of my balls I guess.
Oh my God, the leash! Don’s got the leash!! Whooo! We’re going for a walk!!! And I’m running! I’m running! I’m running around the house!!
“Carly! Fuck!! Settle down!”
Sorry! Sorry ’bout that! My bad.
Oh boy, what are we doing? The car? The car? No, not the car! I hate the car! NO!!!!!!
“Carly, come here! Dammit, I can’t pick your big ass up like this all the time!”
I’m running! I’m running! I’m runn…ow, the leash! That’s right. I’m not running.
Oh my Lord, I don’t feel so good…Driving sucks. Oh, look at that other dog out the window!!
“Woof!” Hi other dog!! Oh no, here it comes…bleeeeagh!!!
“Awe, Carly!! NO!! DAMMIT!”
Sorry about that! Didn’t mean to puke all over your floor boards, but you know I hate car rides! I’ve told you that 100 times!!
The park? Yay, we’re at the park!! I love the park!!! We’re going to run!!!
I’m out of the car! I’m running! I’m running! I’m running!
“Carly!! Come here!”
What’s that a frog? Sniff!
Oh, what’s that a tree? Sniff!
Oh my God, is that grass, sniff sniff!
AIR! AIR IS BLOWING!!!! Sniff!!
“Carly, come on! Let’s get this over with!”
Sorry! That was air I smelled, Don!! Air!!!
Finally back home after that great jog. I’m beat. Awe, come on, the crate again!!? What the fuck!? Where are you people going now?? Where do you all go together without me all the time!!???
Fuck you all!! I hate you!!!
BYE!! BYE! I love you!! I’ll miss you!!! Dammit, they left.
Where do they go, Jojo?!! Where do they go without us all the time and why are you not in a crate too!!??
Oh look, they left me a bone!! I have a bone!! I’m chewing my bone!!!
What’s that? Hello?
Are you people home?
“Carly and Jojo, we’re home!”
Oh my God, my people are back!!!!
“Come on out, Carly!”
Oh my God, I’m free!! I’m running, I’m running, I’m running!
Sorry! Sorry ’bout that!
Oh boy, we’re all going to watch tv now!
I’m going to sneak off over here now and oh, what’s that smell? I’m going to pee right here on this nice carpet and just…
“Carly, no!!!!! FUUUUUUCK!”
I’m running! I’m running! I’m running!!!!!
“Carly, come here!”
No way, man!!! I’m running! I’m running! I’m running!
NO! You’re going to yell at me.
“Carly, come here.”
“Get your butt outside!”
Boy, everytime I piss on the carpet I end up out here. I love it out here, so I guess I should keep pissing on the carpet then, right? Right? Hey rabbit, I’m talking to you! I’m running! I’m running! I’m running after a rabbit!!!
“Woof!” Next time rabbit!
“Carly! Come on in.”
Oh boy, more of that dog food I love and it’s time to lay down next to Jojo to rest finally!
What a great way to end the best day I’ve had since yesterday!!