Happy Birthday Me – a FTSF

I’m writing this on my phone because, screw you workplace computer!!

It’s turning out to be a pretty glorious Friday, my friends.

It started out as most any other Friday does, with me rolling groggily out of bed while cursing myself for those last ten beers I probably could have done without. One day I’ll learn that five or six is plenty, but the Blues were playing on TV, dammit!

I peed, showered and then completely forgot to shave my stubble away. “Fuck it,” I thought to myself. “It’s Friday and it’s your birthday, so do what you want, Don.”

What I wanted to do is crawl back into bed with my wife, but I remained strong and dressed myself for work in spite of my body’s protestations.

I made myself a delicious protein shake in my shaker cup, checked Jojo’s pulse (she woke to see another day, so I let her out to pee) and caught the honkey bus to work with plenty of time to spare.

​At some point on the ride in it dawned on me that I completely forgot the tie that I’d draped over the back of the couch to wear today. Remember that delicious protein shake I made myself? Guess what? Yep, I forgot that mother fucker too!! It’s resting in my car’s cup holder as I type this, mocking me.

It’s going to be 60 degrees today, so I’m hoping the milk doesn’t get too funky by the time I get back to my car this afternoon.

​Is 41 the age where I lose my mind completely? I don’t feel older today. I mean I feel hung over a little bit and sore from running five miles yesterday, but I think I’m still fairly capable, physically. While it’s not totally unusual that I’d forget one thing, three things is not cool. I guess I should just be happy I remembered to put pants on.

​I was all ready to have an angry pity party and scream out loud about how this day can go fuck itself, but then I looked at my phone and saw that I had a lovely text message and then phone call from my mom, because she insists on singing happy birthday to me even now, at this advanced age.

​I got a couple more text messages from family and friends and then a whole shit load of happy birthdays from a lot of great friends on Facebook. I know it only takes a few seconds to type “Happy Birthday you old fuck!” or “Happy Birthday, you’re old as shit now” or “I wish you were dead!” but still, so many people did take those few seconds out of their lives to acknowledge me, before I even had a cup of coffee, that I was touched! Thanks to those of you who sent me good wishes.

​When I got settled into my office, I remembered that I needed to razz an acquaintance of mine who is due to have a baby soon. I found out a little while back that her husband and her were going to name their son to be Louis and call him Louie. While she thought it was the cutest thing ever, I assured her that it was stupid and that the first thing that came to my mind when she said Louis was, well Louis!

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She seethed in her charming little way (she’s way too nice to seethe properly) and I found it so amusing that I decided to send her Louis pictures from time to time to bother her.

Louie Anderson
Louis Armstrong
Louis Vuitton
Louis Farrakhan
Louis XIV!

There were so many on my list that I never got to send because when I sent her my Louis picture of the day this morning, her response was this:

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Little Louis is going to share a birthday with DOAT!!!

This little nugget of information made me so so happy!! His mother would no doubt clench her mom parts like never before to avoid this, if she only could, so that makes it extra special for me. It’s like a Schadenfreude sort of thing perhaps.

Well, I was ready to wrap up this FTSF post on a high note by saying that “What I really want to scream out loud is that life is pretty great, when you’re surrounded by so many great people…” but alas, life threw me a curve ball literally as I was going to type how great this day has been already.

​I just got a message that a dear friend is in bad shape in the ICU of a local hospital. Rats to you for not letting me have a perfect day, life!!

​Still, thanks to all of you who’ve made me feel special today, and that includes anybody who is reading this. If you’re taking the time to do so, it means a lot to me.

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43 Responses to Happy Birthday Me – a FTSF

  1. Abby says:

    Happy Birthday-we are not FB friends so I took the time out on here !!! Have a great day!

  2. Abby says:

    ps your links are all crazy-blame the phone, blame the phone!

  3. Haha, fuck. The pics didn’t work.

  4. Julie says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OLD MAN!!! 🙂 You share a birthday with my niece, Evelyn. She turns 1 today.

  5. ardenrr says:

    Happy Birthday you crazy fucktard!! I’m pretty sure you’re definitely going senile btw…. But I am VERY grateful that you remembered to put pants on today 🙂

  6. LindaGHill says:

    Happy birthday, youngun’! I hope you’re friend is okay

  7. Maggie O'C says:

    Happy Birthday Dear Donnie! Is your real name Donald?

  8. aliciabenton says:

    Happy, happy birthday!!

  9. Happy Birthday Old Man!! Tell me again how old you feel when you pass the 50 mark, like me 🙂

  10. Katia says:

    Happy Birthday you old fuck! (sorry, I felt compelled to do this, since I didn’t post one of these on your FB wall). Aren’t pisces the best, or are you not into that kind of crap? I hope your friend is doing better and don’t scream out loud just yet, the day may get better. Have a good one, Don!

  11. Happy Birthday, Don! Hope the rest of the day goes well for you, that your friend is better very soon, and that little Louis and his mom do well through the C-section. I hope your img tags get fixed really soon, too. 🙂

  12. markbialczak says:

    Happy birthday, Dude of a Dozen Bud Light Limes and a Quarter-Dozen Brain Farts. You are only as old as your memory lapses, Don. Wait, why was I commenting here? Oh, yeah, advice from an old guy, me: Don’t smell the shake when you get back in the car to see if it’s spoiled. Just spill the bastard out on the road. On a serious note, I hope your ill friend gets well.

  13. Mike says:

    Losing your mind at 41? Na, it gets far worse! A very Happy Birthday to you, Don! Hopefully you can update this at home tonight with the pictures I always look forward to! My best, healing wishes to your friend in ICU too, buddy. Have an awesome day…you deserve it always 🙂

  14. Tarana Khan says:

    Happy birthday, Don! It sounded like an almost perfect day, and I hope your friend gets better.

  15. 1jaded1 says:

    Happy Birthday, kiddo! Hope your friend is ok.

  16. Blogdramedy says:

    I baked a cake.
    Probably the best cake I ever baked.
    It’s not every day Don turns forty-one.
    ‘Cause out of your ass the sun doth shone.
    So eat cake. Get baked.
    Happy birthday, you old rake.

  17. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Happy Birthday! Go Team Pisces!

  18. gimpet says:

    Happy Birthday Don, you old fart!

  19. samara says:

    Happy Birthday, you handsome dude, have a fantastic one (although I’m sorry about your friend)

    But enjoy life! Maybe I’ll bump into you on Tumblr….

  20. Stephanie Sprenger says:

    Oh dammit. I’m sorry you couldn’t end on a high note. But happy birthday anyway, you old fuck. I love reading your posts, I really do. Especially when you make me laugh by forgetting your MFing protein shake in the car. 🙂 I’m glad you felt special on your birthday- my mom still sings to me, too. You are well loved. Oh! Your song is up next week- woot! 😀

  21. Happy Birthday!! Happy As Many Bud Light Limes As You Want Day! Happy Louis Day! My Skinny Pirates will be raised in honor of you tonight at Dalt’s as Ted and NC will be sipping whole milk with visions of you in their tiny noggins. Hope your friend gets better!

  22. lrconsiderer says:

    Aw Don. So sorry to hear about your friend. That really sucks. Hope they get better soon.

    And HAPPY BIRTHDAY 😀

  23. bethteliho says:

    Oh gosh, I hope your friend’s okay. Yeesh.

    On a happier note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, friend!! That’s sweet that you received so many messages. and I laughed so hard that you not only forgot your tie, but also you shake. hahaha

  24. happy birthday! and yes, after 40 be happy you’re just wearing pants. that’s the bar. now go get a drink and celebrate. 🙂

  25. Kathleen says:

    Happy Birthday! Love your blog. You always make me laugh.

  26. I think you also share a birthday with both Lynn Swann and Franco Harris. That makes you pretty cool in my book. Happy birthday you old as shit old bastard!

  27. Nadia says:

    To echo my FB sentiments, happy fucking BIRTHDAY! You’re welcome.
    And, best wishes to your friend. Hope they’re okay.

  28. menopausalmother says:

    Happy Birthday! Wish I could say, “Happy Birthday, Old Fart”, but I just realized I’m older than you….oh crap.

  29. You’re lucky you only forgot three things because the minute you turn 41, it’s all downhill from there. But hey, have a great birthday anyway and if you ever feel an unexpected breeze on your legs, you probably forgot your pants.

  30. Awwww. little Louie should be named little Doat! Sorry about your friend. 😢. It’s still today so a Feliz Cumpleanos Don! 👮🍺

  31. findingninee says:

    Damnit, I’m sad to read that you put on pants today. I mean seriously, if ever there’s a day when you are allowed to “forget” pants, it’s your fuckin birthday. I’m actually for real bummed for you that you put them on. Happy birthday, Internet Hubs. May your day be merry, bright, drunkenish, fabulous, full of love and laughter, and well, with no need for pants.
    Also 😦 about your friend. For real. That sucks.

  32. MojosWork says:

    Happy birthday and fuck the Blues! Fuck’em forever!

  33. elihawkins6 says:

    Happy birthday, Old sir! 🙂 Much luck to your friend.

  34. Sorry about your friend, Don. I hope he pulls through.

  35. You old, drunk fuck! Happy goddamn birthday (a day late). 41 … It’s not the worst thing ever. I mean, I pee every time I sneeze now that I’m 41, but I think that doesn’t apply to dudes, just the ladies who pushed a person out the ol’ canal. Then again, if you’re drunk enough, maybe it does.

    Cool getting to share your bday with Baby Louis–I assume he’s not related to Donald Duck like that other one.

    Hoping your weekend isn’t full of reminders that you’re old now!

  36. Twindaddy says:

    Happy birthday, Don!!

  37. Happy Birthday! Don’t worry about getting forgetful … you remembered where the tie and shake are and that you forgot to shave. It’s when you find the tie in the dishwasher and the shake in the medicine cabinet that you might want to start worrying! 😉 Hope your friend is OK!!

  38. Pleun says:

    Happy birthday! 41 is peanuts… it’s where life starts! Enjoy 😉

  39. mollytopia says:

    I am bitter shit-pissed that I missed your birthday. You’re one of my most favorite people in the history of EVER. Happy happy fabulous kick-ass birthday to you Don. Next year I’ll get it right I promise. Pinky swear.

    • Pinky swear!! Okay I guess. Lol. You sounded busy with a divorce party or something. I had fun even sans Molly love, so it may have been too much anyway. Thanks for the belated well wishes!

  40. pegoleg says:

    Happy belated birthday! Please tell me you did NOT drink that milk-based shake after it sat, funk-a-lating, in your car all day. Yuck.

  41. Happy Belated Birthday! I suck at being on time. I think it’s sweet your mom sings happy bday still too. And I am very sorry about your friend.

  42. PinotNinja says:

    Happy belated birthday to you!!

    And the reason why the universe had you leave your tie and protein shake behind is because birthday mornings are meant for comfy sweats and cake. OBVIOUSLY.

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