It’s no secret, that a person unfamiliar with this here blog would notice, pretty immediately, that 94% of the people who read and comment on this garbage are women.
Women be bloggin’!!
While I enjoy the online company of the awesome ladies I’ve met, as well as the four men who comment on my blog semi-regularly, I wanted to expand my reach beyond the cat lovers, KSU alum (gross) and circus kin I love so dearly. You know who you are.
So, even though I’ve sort of fought it for the year and three months this blog has been around, I’ve finally decided to be honest and come out of the closet with a facet of my life that I’m ashamed of.
Why the fuck not, right? I mean God made me what I am and there’s nothing I can do about it now. Once I penetrated the opening with my man love wand, I was labeled and there was no turning back.
I’m a dad.
I sometimes blog.
I am at least a part time dad blogger!
I don’t know why, but I’ve sort of resisted the whole dad blogger label even though I don’t have any other label to go with. You know, it’s the whole “ofalltrades” thing that I sort of like about myself. I guess I didn’t want to get pigeon holed into always writing about my dadventures with the children. See what I did there? There’s a lot of potential in dad blogging, right?
Dadding is pretty fun, I’m not horrible at it, and the blog content practically writes itself.
Is that a word, dadding? Fathering I guess is the correct word, but that’s dumb. Who says father anymore? Fuck, I don’t know. Who cares either? The point is that I’m back in the saddle here and finally embracing my dadness.
I found a pretty cool dad bloggers group on Facebook. I’m not allowed to share what’s discussed in that group, because what happens in the dad’s bloggers group stays in the dad bloggers group. I may have said too much already, in fact.
It’s mostly dads supporting dads and all that good stuff. I will admit that it took me a while to embrace those men, however.
Did you know that there are men out there who stay at home with their kids all day while their wives work? Not just in the way that Micheal Keaton did in that movie because he was laid off, but on purpose!
I know, right? Mind.Fucking.Blown!!!
There are straight dads and gay dads and tall dads too. Some dads are fighting for the right to change their baby’s diaper on a changing station in public areas by demanding that companies end the stereotyping of the woman being the only one who can or will change a diaper by putting some damn changing tables in their men’s rooms too. And to think that I would do a happy dance to myself whenever there wasn’t a changing table in the men’s room!
Honestly, joining this group made me wonder for a little while if I suck as a dad.
I certainly don’t volunteer to change a diaper, especially one that I know has shit in it. I mean, I guess if I knew my wife would jump my bones for changing a shitty diaper, I’d volunteer, but not for much else. We’re on the third kid now; I’ve changed my share of diapers. Is it as many as my wife? No, not even close.
I’m not a stay at home dad either. I can barely tolerate staying home with the kids alone for a single day, let alone multiple days or five days a week for 18 fucking years! It’s just not my thing. The kids, even though they’re really well behaved, are exhausting. They always have to eat and poop and when that happens, somebody has to have a diaper changed or their butt needs to be wiped and then the dogs want to go outside, even though it’s raining, and it’s on and on and on, all fucking day!
Going back to work is a relief!!
Does that make me a bad dad or any less of a dad than these other dudes who really enjoy and embrace their stay at home dad roles?
I say no.
Dads are people and all people are different. Our differences needn’t make any of us better than others who are doing their best. We show our love in different ways, and as long as our loved ones know we love them and our kids wake up to live another day, then we’re doing just fine.
Not enough for you? Okay then, how’s about I show you then.
Here are 14 random ways I know I’m winning at parenting:
2. Pfffft, this kid didn’t get to be this fucking cool because hid dad is a lame ass, that’s for sure.
3. Boy has a lady stalker on day ONE of preschool. Day ONE!
4. This dad’s girl don’t eat no salad. Meat and ketchup and taters and bacon and eggs, oh my!
5. They paid their respects to my dead dog, Natty with prayers and yes, Natty Light.
6. They know how to do the beach right.
7. Perfectly happy with an 89 cent balloon.
8. The Cowboys. ‘Nuff said.
9. Come on, this just reeks of winning and you know it.
10. Daddy leans more crips, but whatever, yo. Still winning.
11. They’re even happy during time out for fuck’s sake.
12. Hooters = winning, always.
13. Winning at baseball in Walmart because dad is winning at parenting.
14. Our passion for love and diversity.
Are you buying that I’m winning at being a dad, or are you thinking about calling child protective services on me?