Coming out and photographic proof that i’m winning at parenting…

It’s no secret, that a person unfamiliar with this here blog would notice, pretty immediately, that 94% of the people who read and comment on this garbage are women.

Women be bloggin’!!

While I enjoy the online company of the awesome ladies I’ve met, as well as the four men who comment on my blog semi-regularly, I wanted to expand my reach beyond the cat lovers, KSU alum (gross) and circus kin I love so dearly. You know who you are.

So, even though I’ve sort of fought it for the year and three months this blog has been around, I’ve finally decided to be honest and come out of the closet with a facet of my life that I’m ashamed of.

Why the fuck not, right? I mean God made me what I am and there’s nothing I can do about it now. Once I penetrated the opening with my man love wand, I was labeled and there was no turning back.

I’m a dad.

I sometimes blog.

I am at least a part time dad blogger!

I don’t know why, but I’ve sort of resisted the whole dad blogger label even though I don’t have any other label to go with. You know, it’s the whole “ofalltrades” thing that I sort of like about myself. I guess I didn’t want to get pigeon holed into always writing about my dadventures with the children. See what I did there? There’s a lot of potential in dad blogging, right?

Dadding is pretty fun, I’m not horrible at it, and the blog content practically writes itself.

Is that a word, dadding? Fathering I guess is the correct word, but that’s dumb. Who says father anymore? Fuck, I don’t know. Who cares either? The point is that I’m back in the saddle here and finally embracing my dadness.

I found a pretty cool dad bloggers group on Facebook. I’m not allowed to share what’s discussed in that group, because what happens in the dad’s bloggers group stays in the dad bloggers group. I may have said too much already, in fact.

It’s mostly dads supporting dads and all that good stuff. I will admit that it took me a while to embrace those men, however.

Did you know that there are men out there who stay at home with their kids all day while their wives work? Not just in the way that Micheal Keaton did in that movie because he was laid off, but on purpose!

I know, right? Mind.Fucking.Blown!!!

There are straight dads and gay dads and tall dads too. Some dads are fighting for the right to change their baby’s diaper on a changing station in public areas by demanding that companies end the stereotyping of the woman being the only one who can or will change a diaper by putting some damn changing tables in their men’s rooms too. And to think that I would do a happy dance to myself whenever there wasn’t a changing table in the men’s room!

Honestly, joining this group made me wonder for a little while if I suck as a dad.

I certainly don’t volunteer to change a diaper, especially one that I know has shit in it. I mean, I guess if I knew my wife would jump my bones for changing a shitty diaper, I’d volunteer, but not for much else. We’re on the third kid now; I’ve changed my share of diapers. Is it as many as my wife? No, not even close.

I’m not a stay at home dad either. I can barely tolerate staying home with the kids alone for a single day, let alone multiple days or five days a week for 18 fucking years! It’s just not my thing. The kids, even though they’re really well behaved, are exhausting. They always have to eat and poop and when that happens, somebody has to have a diaper changed or their butt needs to be wiped and then the dogs want to go outside, even though it’s raining, and it’s on and on and on, all fucking day!

Going back to work is a relief!!

Does that make me a bad dad or any less of a dad than these other dudes who really enjoy and embrace their stay at home dad roles?

I say no.

Dads are people and all people are different. Our differences needn’t make any of us better than others who are doing their best. We show our love in different ways, and as long as our loved ones know we love them and our kids wake up to live another day, then we’re doing just fine.

Not enough for you? Okay then, how’s about I show you then.

Here are 14 random ways I know I’m winning at parenting:

1. EVERYONE enjoys bathtime.Beanbag chair in the bathroom helps daddy at #winning bathtime

Beanbag chair in the bathroom helps daddy at #winning bathtime

2. Pfffft, this kid didn’t get to be this fucking cool because hid dad is a lame ass, that’s for sure.

580862_4762967442360_455110333_n

Coolest kid ever.

3. Boy has a lady stalker on day ONE of preschool. Day ONE!

558248_4465412043661_369651437_n

Yes son, this one digs you.

4. This dad’s girl don’t eat no salad. Meat and ketchup and taters and bacon and eggs, oh my!

543732_4093014013943_1031451514_n

Eats like her dad…#winning

5. They paid their respects to my dead dog, Natty with prayers and yes, Natty Light.

405051_4940710845834_2048732752_n

Please bring Natty home to you, Jesus, and thanks for beer.

6. They know how to do the beach right.

390944_3019861825809_2138783950_n

Cutest passed out pose ever?

7. Perfectly happy with an 89 cent balloon.

250357_2251704822364_7986210_n

OMG, what’s an iPad!!??

8. The Cowboys. ‘Nuff said.

1904165_10203181179440576_833134087_n

PS: We’re still bitter about the Tom Landry ouster in the DOAT household.

9. Come on, this just reeks of winning and you know it.

1900103_10203185835596977_1756214432_n

Pee like a man, shrinkage be damned!

10. Daddy leans more crips, but whatever, yo. Still winning.

1395915_10202190846922882_1987833703_n

Suburban gangster…

11. They’re even happy during time out for fuck’s sake.

securedownload (2)

Derrrrr!!

12. Hooters = winning, always.

27239_1394905482916_2663476_n

We love the wings!

13. Winning at baseball in Walmart because dad is winning at parenting.

303911_2345774894057_854833605_n

Sent that baby all the way to Electronics

14. Our passion for love and diversity.

269423_2159181749345_7183114_n (1)

Why did that white man hand me this lil baby??

Are you buying that I’m winning at being a dad, or are you thinking about calling child protective services on me?

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Family, Parenting, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

126 Responses to Coming out and photographic proof that i’m winning at parenting…

  1. SmackOfHam says:

    Don, as a stay-at-home-dad who writes, I’ve been looking for someone to represent bloggers who are fathers but who are not comfortable being labeled “Daddy Bloggers.” While my search continues, I enjoyed your post enormously – you clearly rock at both blogging and daddying. 🙂

  2. I’m thinking that you’re a total LEGEND at being a dad, and the bathtime picture made me ridiculously happy. Your kids are gorgeous!

  3. Valerie says:

    This pretty much proves that I’m totally winning at momming!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

  4. Daile says:

    You are not only winning at Dadding but you are winning at lifeing.

    I already have the cat carrier, all I need is the tiny human to enslave. Where do I get one of those?…

    • I don’t know how it works in Australia. I imagine a lot of them are gobbled up by large reptilian creatures, so you have to be quick. I’m not sure that the old fashioned way would be your thing. I’d think it’d cramp your style a little bit. I do hope you find one soon though! The posts will be hilariawesome!

  5. Aussa Lorens says:

    You made me laugh out loud several times in this. Why has it take me so long to read this? Also, why don’t I have a beanbag in MY bathroom and don’t give me some nonsense about my not having children.

    The OMG What’s an Ipad?! caption almost made me pee. Almost.

    • Making you almost pee makes me happy. You totally should have a beanbag chair in the bathroom though. It’s the perfect resting spot for when it just isn’t a toilet seat sort of moment. Grab a six pack and cry about poor life decisions in the comfort of your bathroom beanbag chair…it practically markets itself.

  6. Man, if I stayed at home with my kids, I’d be drunk by 10am everyday. And I don’t even drink! I also think they would just have to scrounge for food from my potato chip crumbs in the couch.
    Keep up the great work! (And buy your wife some flowers.)

  7. Amber Perea says:

    Cute. And man, G$ is going to be your clone. Yikes. 😉

  8. Amber says:

    Haha! I’m amused. And we bring our kids to Hooters too. The wings ARE good.

  9. mollytopia says:

    Bahahaha – everyone loves bath time!!! These photos are awesome! Yes yes a thousand times yes you are an AWESOME dad…You bring up a great question though – I think we all (even those raised on the circus haha) wonder if we’re good parents. A lot of times I think I suck at it. Because like you, I’d rather be at work than a stay-at-home parent. I’m not a cuddler, I hate American Girl dolls, and I prefer strategy and solutions to stuffed animals and friendship bracelets. I’m more of a dad than a mom. But her dad is a great mom so it works out. He cuddles and tickles and laughs at her jokes while I clamor about chores, saving her money and being strong and independent. Anyway, I think it’s awesome that you’ve found a dad’s group – yay! I know you are the celebrity of the group : ) Btw I feel the same way about stay-at-home-dads even though I’m ashamed of it. Anybody who wants to stay home with their children absolutely should. If they have boobs. I’m kidding. As long as I don’t have to stay home with them it’s all good. Party on. I’ll be at the office making money.

  10. Hahaha, I’m a new blogger and I’m a stay at home mom of four. I feel the same way as far as competition goes, (am I bad mom, is someone going to cl cps on me, yada, yada), and believe me, if I could work, my hubby would also be somewhat content to be a stay at home dad. Would some think having pics of ur little ones w/beer cans in their hands/laps is advisable, no, but only you know the real true story behind the pic, so keep up the great work dad.

    • Awe, thank you ma’am. 4 kids? Yikes! Three is a handful for is so anything more than that amazes me. It’s always nice to meet a new blogger. I love to read about other moms and dads so I’ll be over to check you out soon! Thank you.

  11. julie says:

    You are SO winning at dadding! SO WINNING! When you mentioned the stay at home dad’s the only guy who came to mind was John Lennon. He could afford to I guess.

    You are so funny!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s