I am Don.
I know a little about a lot of things but have mastered nothing.
I’m not ashamed of that. I’ve wanted to learn so many different things, but I get into something and then, like a three year old distracted by a bouncing ball, I quickly find another thing that demands my attention.
I can do many things half-assed. I can homebrew beer, cook, be your lawyer, put in a new ceiling fan…on and on, but NONE of it comes guaranteed.
This is not a blog about anything in particular.
I’m not promoting a cause.
I don’t have a disease.
I don’t think my kids are the best thing since sliced bread (though they have given me much to blog about, thank you!).
I simply don’t have a specific topic that fascinates me to the point of wanting to talk about it with the world.
I’m just a regular guy with many (mostly asinine) thoughts and opinions which I’m fixin to share with the internet.
About what you say?
I have a family. I am a serviceable husband and father, but would never win any awards for doing either. My wife is pretty awesome. We have three kids. Ace is 9, Cool is 4 and G$ is 22 months. They are exhausting, but they’re fun and we wouldn’t change anything about any of them, for the most part. I’ll write about them, sometimes.
I work around and with a lot of interesting and stupid people. I’ll write about them too.
I mostly talk out my ass and that’s what I plan to do here. Nothing that I write will blow your mind, I ‘m sure.
I curse a lot, often unintentionally or without even realizing it. Even when I type! I’m trying to get better with that though and I won’t do it just for the sake of cursing, if that makes any fucking sense.
If I offend you, then let me apologize right here. I’m just trying to blow steam and have fun. I’m not wanting to make enemies online, that’s for sure.
I may talk about crap that I like to do or would like to do. I may write real time play by play during a night of drinking beer on my couch alone or I may post a recipe that I think you should try. I may write four paragraphs about a time I followed a fat woman around Sam’s Club watching her and her fat kids eat samples. Fat people are fascinating!
Who knows? If it’s something that strikes me as funny, I’ll talk about it.
I like to think that I’m a pretty diverse guy! Whatever the topic is, it’s bound to be fun, for me at least!
don of all trades 
I’m so happy to know I’m not the only one who follows fat people around.
I find really really fat people to be fascinating!
Have you ever seen “Ruby,” the TV show about Ruby Gettinger, morbidly obese Georgia woman? All kidding aside, I love that show. It is incredible.
No, is it something I must check out? There was a show that followed patients at some fat person clinic that I used to get absorbed in. My wife caught me watching a show about a 1200 pound Mexican dude who use to have a person come over once a week to clean him and wipe his ass. Seriously!?? She thinks I’m stupid, but I’m looking forward to watching a show in about 20 years about a train wrecked Honey Boo Boo that will knock my socks off!
I am totally unashamed of my reality TV habit. It’s just too good. Things like “One Ton Mom” are fascinating. “Ruby” is less freak show, more case study, but I love it anyway. You should totally check it out.
Hey thanks for the like and comment over at Mancakes; you’re a pretty sassy little bugger. I think I’m gonna follow you like you followed the lady at Costco. Well, sorta like that. 😉
Costco is pretty classy I’ve heard (never been). I follow fat sample tasters around Sam’s Club for fun. Fat children annoying elderly sample distributors until the sample dude has had enough and snaps is priceless.
nominated you for a sunshine award! Hope you don’t mind. If you do want it you can visit the link.
http://1tric.wordpress.com/
Awe, thank you so much! Were you struggling to find a certain number of blogs to list or something?? lol. Kidding. I’ll take a look at this when I have more time, but I truly do appreciate you thinking of me!
Ha ha. You were top of my list! no sweat, sure lucky you got a mention on my site with my many followers checking you out!
Hi, I have nominated you for the Liebster Award!
http://littlemisschocchoc.wordpress.com/2013/03/06/my-first-ever-liebster-award/
Oh my a someone who likes to write about funny things. Awesome, I’ll be back. Thanks for dropping by “Honey.”
Not much is funnier than real life! Thanks for reading and I look forward to seeing you again@
This “about” page, one of the best I have read. I will enjoy the shit out of reading this, I am sure of this.
You like fat people too, don’t you, sir?!!
I like all people. But I appreciate the ones who make it easy to be appreciated.
It’s comforting to know there is someone out there with the same type of ADD and humor as me, love your intro.
Thank you! Yeah, that darned ADD is always messing with m oh, look, my coffee is done!
I’ve nominated you for an award. No biggie. http://joshflaum.wordpress.com/2013/03/16/my-nomination-for-a-liebster-award-nomination-award/
Oh it’s a very big deal, sir, and I appreciate it! I tried to nominate you last week, but I was drinking and didn’t know what I was doing. Thank you,sir, I shall try to do it correctly this time!
Oh hell, I just nominated you for the same award. Damn…
Geez, I’d have sworn I was already following your craziness! Thank you so much! I need to do this properly again anyway.
Yeah, Don…don’t be that d-bag that doesn’t show up for the award ceremony. Go thank the little people and spread some love!
Dbag is sort of always my role in the group.
Hey–thanks for visiting the Jenn stories. Glad you found something there you liked. Please feel free to come back and annoy the heck out of me and my The Readership. It would be funny.
Hey, it was nice to meet you Don 🙂 And you’ve got a really interesting blog !!!
Thanks, you too! I look forward to reading some stuff with you.
Haha,,,me’s like the fat people watch too!! Your my kind of husband/father dude. Thanks for the follow and I look forward to following you!
You had me at following around fat people. Wait, no. You had me at the fact that you named (or most likely refer) to your son as G$. Great intro. I’m looking forward to reading more.
Thanks for stopping by…looking forward to the fun you will bring!
I LOVE this already and I haven’t yet read a single post, just your hilarious about page is enough to make me follow you on here. And I can assure you I’ll read more.
Lorna xx
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So… You know I heart your blog so of course I’m nominating it for a Liebster! http://behindthebooze.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/what-the-heck-is-a-liebster-hey-neat-i-got-a-liebster-part-2/
Let the chain letters begin!
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This might be my favorite About page. Ever. I, too, curse without realizing it and morbidly obese people truly ARE fascinating. Ha to following them and their fat children around watching them eat the free samples. Totally digging your blog. Totally.
So you know I think you’re kind of awesome so I nominated you for an award …
http://ardenrr.wordpress.com/2013/06/18/you-like-me-you-really-like-me/
No Guarantees! No refunds either, eh?
I think you are simply hilarious and I look forward to following this blog! A momma needs a good laugh every now and then – mainly to keep her sane.
Oh posh, hilarious? You’re too kind! A momma does need a good laugh every now and then, so I hope I can deliver some from time to time. Thanks for reading!
Quite a “selling point,” Don! A blog about nothing in particular, yet obviously wildly successful. You’re great! Hey, this idea worked for “Seinfeld.” And thanks for your visit to our place. Enjoy your day…
Christian
Thank you, Christian! Successful is debatable, but I’m having fun meeting new folks so that’s a good thing.
You bet it is. It’s one of the “perks” of this job…meeting new people. For us, we try to offer some helpful information to help them along life’s path.
Hopefully you’ll be back soon and maybe find something of interest to you…
Christian
I was going to follow your blog, but since you don’t have a disease, I may not.
Well, now that I’ve blogged a little bit, some would question whether or not I don’t in fact suffer from some mental disease, but it’s never been documented officially.
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Having a party and you’re invited. Bring your own sleeping bag.
I know you followed mancakes/cordelias road trip. Just in case you don’t know she is hanging up her blogging boots. She has a post up about it if you want to go say good bye. You probably have her email, but just in case you miss her post (whilst out running)!
G$, eh? Who exactly is in charge of naming the kids?
Yeah, I’m not real sure where that nickname came from. It somehow fits him, but I’ve not figured out why yet.
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1. I am a huge fan of St. Louis. Lived there in 2000.
2. I’m the fat person (not as fat as you like’em, but fat) and I’d take you down in Costco, if I found you following me around. 🙂
3. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
You made me giggle. As far as your foul mouth, Blessings. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Lol! You’d have to be really big and kind of a mean woman to fascinate me. I can’t explain what the attraction is, I think it’s a sickness. I once watched a disgusting show on Discovery about morbidly obese people at some hospital for four hours. It was literally a show about fat people not losing weight because they had relatives sneaking them in Doritos and pizzas and buckets of chicken at this expensive hospital. Oh well! I’m very careful not to draw attention to myself though. Am I awful?? Where did you live in STL? It’s not a bad place.
I can relate to watching those types of people, too. You’re not awful. I find myself following strange people in stores. It’s hard walking away from crazies.
I married a guy who grew up in Florissant, and we lived off of Eichelberger for a short time, kinda over by Ted Drews. Enjoyed it.
I have no email for you so said this is as quiet a place as I can find to reply to you! Thanks for your offer! He is followed regularly by the Irish press and they have managed to pretty much stop him having a life over there. It was a case of high notoriety here, going on for a couple of years and on tv and radio daily, (as I hid). Even after so long I still have to read about it a couple of times a year. You can keep him! Another thing the US did for us! 🙂
I’m glad to hear he is being made somewhat miserable at least. Too bad he hasn’t had a terrible accident yet…
You can email anytime you like my Irish pal. donofalltrades@rocketmail.com
So glad to have found your fucktard blog. Loving it.
Lol…fucktard is about right. Thank you for joining in the fun.
I’ve seen you around the blogosphere enough to know that I want to read more of your blather. So, write on!
Sweet! You’ve seen me slumming? I’m glad to have you along.
Thanks so much for following “Honey.” ADD? Welcome to my world. Now add freakin’ menopause…. 🙂
That sounds awful. For everyone around you as well as yourself!
i awarded you something on my page. I havent a clue wth i am doing. just go with it…
http://lisajohnsonsawyer.com/2013/08/26/monday-monday/
for my sake….please. thank you.. say fuck you or something.
Your blog is great. Keep on truckin’.
Eva
Ha, we’ll thanks for that! I try to keep truckin, but truckin ain’t easy, just like pimpin. I appreciate the follow! I look forward to checking out your blog soon, if for no other reason than to see how dental work and eggs have any relation.
You may be disappointed or pleasantly surprised. Everything is relative.
I like that you could be my lawyer. Just not a very good one. Haaaa. I guess I’m still going to jail. Also the rest of that was supremely awesome. Thanks for that this afternoon!!
I make a really good drinking buddy though, if you ever need one of those! Thanks for stopping by!
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Awesome about page. My kids are the same ages as yours, or pretty close! And I blog for the exact same reasons: to let it out a bit. Great to meet you, Don.
Thanks, dude! It’s always fun to meet a new blogger, especially a man in this world of womanliness.
You know, I am starting to realize that I’m surrounded by women. That’s no problem, of course, but it is interesting. Anyway, nice to meet you. Hope you don’t mind if I follow along for the ride and issue the occasional ridiculous comment. Cause that’s what I’m good for. Well, that and the testosterone.
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Haha, thus had to be a lot of work. You rock.
For your obvious love and devotion to your beautiful wife and children that comes out in your funny, snarky, wonderful stories about your life, Don, I nominate you for the Dragon’s Loyalty Award. Selfishly, hey, you jumped over and commented on the waer.org blog that I get paid for, too! And, I love the cool badge (for this award, and probably for the St. Louis Police Department, too, but I’ve never seen that one).
Because of the way you love the DOAT family, and always make my laugh and think hard, I nominate you for the Shauny Award.
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I know that you are way to popular for it, but I’m giving it to you anyhow because I like you. And I’m a rebel.
I’ve nominated you for the Liebster award – take it or leave it, but just know that I enjoy your blog 🙂
http://lisalisted.com/2014/08/06/liebster-award-numero-2-encore-encore/
Thanks!
Lisa
You’re making me want to blog about the virtues of Sam’s Club over Costco.
I’ve never been in a Costco. Is it less classy than a SAM’s Club? I may have to check one out, if yes.
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Don’t apologize for offending people. When people get offended you should tell them to deal with it followed by playing Bad to the Bone on a boombox while slowly putting on sunglasses.
Great blog by the way.
Hahaha! Is it sad that I totally have a boom box? Thanks for stopping in. You’re a feisty one. I’ll have to check your blog out today.
Thanks Don .. Pleased to have found your blog and looking forward to more reading. Regards from Thom at the immortal jukebox (give it a soin).