Saturday fun…for real!

The donofalltrades clan spent another Saturday together enjoying (for the most part) each other’s company.  This time we hit Six Flags St. Louis.

We live close enough to the park that we thought we’d try season passes this year.  It was a really good deal that required us to go all of one time to recover the cost of the passes, so it was a no-brainer.

I had it in my head that we were going to hit the parking lot and be stuck in line after line after line, starting in the parking lot and continuing to the rides and concessions and all destinations in between.  But, for whatever reason, and much like our recent trip to the zoo, there wasn’t much of a crowd to speak of at all.

I hadn’t been to Six Flags in some time, and found myself pretty pumped to get my ride on since there weren’t that many lines to be dealt with.

Unfortunately, the boys are too small to ride anything but namby-pamby rides and Ace had to be coaxed into riding anything that went too fast or upside down.

A couple of years ago I spent all day trying to get her to ride a roller coaster at Silver Dollar City in Branson, yeah, yeeeeehaw!!!  When I finally broke her, after five hours, it had been raining enough that they closed the ride for the day.  Drats!

On this day though, I had wife onboard with me to make chicken noises and tease Ace that we could have just gone to a local park and played on the swings all summer instead of wasting money on these season passes.  Taunting and teasing is classic good parenting!

The double team worked pretty good!

Ace and I started our ride adventure with a pretty tame roller coaster.  It was fast, but it was too rough for her liking.

Actually, she hated it.


In order to get me back for her roller coaster whiplash, she wanted to go on something called the Sky Screamer.

The Sky Screamer is a set of swings that goes 23 stories in the air.  The seats are held by four chains that are no more than a few centimeters in diameter.  While I’m no engineer, common sense would seem to dictate that a heavier chain link would be much, much safer than the chains holding this swing to the giant pole!

The ride goes up and up and whips you in a circle at 43 m.p.h.  The ride itself isn’t scary, but the thought of these unreasonably thin chains snapping and causing you to be flung hundreds of yards away to your death sure is.


How this isn’t more terrifying than a roller coaster, I don’t know, but she loved it!

When it was my turn to pick the poison, it was easy.  We were right next to another 23 story tall contraption, Superman the Tower of Power!

I don’t know what the deal is with 23 stories, but it’s taller than you might think.  This ride required us to be strapped in with two boys who’d already ridden this stupid thing and were giving us the low down.

Ace, to her credit, asked one last time before we were strapped in if it was too late to turn back and she didn’t complain again.

I, on the other hand, was having a near internal panic attack for no particular reason.  Well, other than the 60 mile per hour drop from 23 stories off the ground that is.


It’s not a ride or even fun! It’s sole purpose is to scare the shit out of you!

After this horrendous “ride,” we found peace at the Highland Fling.


The Highland Fling was perfect for the two of us.  It’s fast and there’s a little bit of upside down, but the cars are enclosed and attached with nice, thick screws.  If you close your eyes, it feels like riding in a convertible on the highway.  That’s my speed right there!

Ace agreed.  We rode it three or four times without having to stand in any lines.

I’m proud of Ace because she also rode the Pandemonium roller coaster as well as Batman without really fussing.  Pandemonium has a cart that spins around and Batman has you dangling from the track while the coaster speeds and loops and twists pretty good.

Batman was her favorite coaster.  She didn’t say she liked it, just that it was her favorite.

In between Ace and I scaring the piss out of each other on silly rides, we did spend some time with wife and the boys.


The Scooby Doo ride or experience or whatever it’s called was too loud, dark and scary for Cool’s liking, but there were plenty of other things for the boys to enjoy.

Lots of kid rides and a playground area with other disgusting germy kids guarantees us a summer of fun.  Did I mention I noticed a stand that sells beer?

The people watching at Six Flags is fantastice and will be another post all by itself.  It’s that good!

We meant to visit for a couple of hours and ended up spending the entire day at Six Flags.

We all made it home and were beat as though we’d run a marathon or played tackle football for three hours or something.  The boys crashed in the van and were out for the rest of the night.

While I’m afraid the crowds will be brutal on subsequent trips, especially when the water park opens, for one day at least, the Six Flags passes were totally worth the cost.

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12 Responses to Saturday fun…for real!

  1. tric says:

    I used to do the rides with my kids as my husband is a lot like your daughter in that video. When I was pregnant he “offered” reluctantly to bring my son on one. As soon as the ride began I knew it was a disaster. Before it even left the ground my son began to roar “stop the ride”. As it rose into the air my husband began to clutch the bar. I was shouting at him to put his arm around our son but he was frozen in fright. There was nothing I could do so in the end I just broke my heart laughing. That was sixteen years ago, neither has gone on a ride since!.

  2. whinybaby says:


  3. I’m afraid of a lot of things (including heights) but for some reason, not roller coasters! Now, I’m not sure. I went on one in TX that was (at the time) the biggest wooden roller coaster in the US. And, I had such a horrible headache after that one. Sign I am getting old, I guess.

    • Lol. Yup…my wife won’t go on any of the more aggressive coasters or anything that spins or goes upside down because she says it makes her sick now. It never used to, so she’s also chalking it up to old age.

  4. my gay mom says:

    My wife freaks out. Twice she’s jumped out of a roller coaster before it took off, leaving me to ride it by myself. She even did it on the Ferris Wheel once, making it the loneliest, shittiest ride of my life.

  5. cookie1986 says:

    I would throw up on every single one of those rides. For reals. I’m a total pussy on anything that’s up high that I;m not allowed to drive. Control freak much?
    Kudos to Ace.

  6. I don’t really do rides. . .well, at least not the amusement park kind! 😉 Last ride I was on? The swings at my hometown county fair, after swilling down a couple bottles of paper-sacked Boones Farm Lazy Days and Easy Nights. And let me tell you–I know about easy nights!!

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