Remember the time that my one post was Freshly Pressed? OMG!!
I’m playing cricket noises, duh!
Yeah, me neither….
Several of my favorite bloggers have recently been though, so I feel like a success by association.
Congrats to all of you!! I like to believe my witty and off-putting comments on all of your posts are part of the reason your posts were selected.
I’m so proud and happy for each of you and I don’t think any of you are total dicks.
On to me though.
I won something!
It’s not the $600 plus million dollar lottery that I was hoping to win, no. God hasn’t found me fit to win a big cash prize yet, but I’m working on it. Last week I didn’t purposely veer my car towards any squirrels or pigeons on the road and even decelerated a little bit when a ghettofabulous jackoff was meandering diagonally across the street taking his sweet time holding up traffic.
I won a book!
The lovely and talented Renee Something or other with an a and then a name and a hyphen and another name too had a contest seeking comments about naughty childhood deeds. You should go read some of them, they’re funny. Here’s mine. I picked a clean one even!
Thanks Larry and Eva!
It wasn’t the funniest comment, but there’s some Random Number Generator thing that Renee used and it chose me because I’m pretty special. It’s nice to be noticed every now and then.
About my prize, the book.
It’s a book written by a Canadian woman who’s been to China I think. She has twins which I always think is hilarious. God says I have issues with you a little bit in many different ways, and twins is one of those ways.
Anyway, I guess her kids lick things like the minivan because the book is called Don’t Lick The Minivan. I can relate as Cool was a licker for a while. He’d lick people in the face, glass doors and shopping cart handles. It was all pretty disgusting, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right. I’ve only recently discovered her blog, ironic mom and I find her to be quite funny. She’s not just funny for a girl funny either, but funny like a real human being funny.
Here’s what the cover of her book looks like. It’s fun, right? The van looks like my own minivan, except it has all the hubcaps attached still, unlike my own.
A book cover!
So, I won the book meaning you’ll have to go and purchase it. It’s bound to be hilarious for us suffering breeders and reassuring to non breeders that they’ve made the right choice.
I’m looking forward to reading it so please hurry R a.S-J!!
That book sounds like something right up my alley!
I’ve never been Freshly Pressed either. Sounds a little uncomfortable, I’d like to know what they use to press people with? It is like a panini press? Whatever it is I hope it’s at least padded.
There’s no Star Wars mentioned that I know, but it’s certainly possible! I’m betting it’s pretty fun read.
1) kudos to you for pressing her and her book! Nicely done!
2) I was wondering where you went. I have felt lonely in my corner of the world.
3) you were serious about that minivan.
I haven’t been feeling the whole blog thing lately and there were way too many posts for my reader to handle the past couple of days. I don’t read as much when I’m not at work. Shhhhhh about that though. And yes, the maroon Chevy Venture is very real! I thought Otter Banks was fun; how could you be lonely?
1) please get back to work. Shhh. I won’t tell nobody. Especially the World Wide Web
2) love the color maroonish and Chevy. I have the same except a Tahoe. I’m feelish quite the 6 degrees of separation here.
3) you said Otter.
4) I was just over here in my lil corner of the page…no dimmy, no don, no Ned…just a peon in this trade.
There is nothing freshly pressed in my house these days, especially not my wardrobe or my blog. I’m so glad you won the book!
Ha, motherhood, wrinkles and wine stains go hand in hand. I’m glad I won it too! I look forward to reading it. I hope it doesn’t suck!
Hey Leanne, maybe Don can write a glowing review for the dust jacket, something like “it didn’t suck.”
I never win anything….
Arden, you’re a winner to me and that’s really all that matters.
I was hoping to win that book. I’m poor so I’ll have to wait in line at the library to read it. I’ve also never been freshly pressed, which is okay, because there’s pretty damn good company among the un-pressed and not so fresh. So, enjoy your winnings.
Aww, you poor thing! I’ll mail it to you when I’m finished with it maybe. We of the never been freshly pressed crowd are pretty awesome. Honestly, it sounds like folks who get FP’d get a lot of suddenly new followers who follow not knowing what the blog is about and that sort of sucks.
Congrats dickhead!!! x
I know, right? Why pretend we’re happy for others when we’re not??
Oh, I am happy for you! Dickhead is a sign of affection, dontcha know?
Totally not green with envy jealous of your win. Nope, I came over here only to congratulate you on your well deserved and totally not random win. So, yeah, congrats and all.
If you had been Freshly Pressed as well, I might have committed hara-kiri. You’ve been forewarned.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear I sense some sarcasm in your tone, young lady. Please don’t kill yourself on my account; you’d be like the 4th woman to do so in my lifetime. It’s too much to bear.
WINNING! Well done, young man. I’ve won next to nothing in my time on earth, although I DID score a marvellous pair of jeans,fetchingly trimmed with leather strips, in a ‘Welcome back Kotter” competition back in the late ’70’s. Miles too big for me and by the time they fit, WAAAAYYY out of fashion, but still…it was a win. 🙂
Just for the record, your “unpressed” blog gets more attention on the regular than my supposedly famous one does. So, there’s that, I guess.
I like to believe it’s because I’m delightful to be around. Did you screw up your fame already?
Apparently. No one likes me anymore. To be honest, I expected it – they all came to me under false pretenses. I’m not really the Tony Robbins of body image that that one post made me out to be.
That’s true I guess. I often wonder why I still read your blog as well. It’s the promise of the hilarity that will be your mothering stories that I cling to. 😉
Oh my God. Do you think that’s why everyone keeps me around?
Oh I doubt others are even aware of your motherly ambitions. I do wish you’d get on the ball though. None of us are getting any younger.
In the meantime, I’d blog more about your cats. People seem to love women and their cats!
I’m so glad you won, you big pee-pee head! 🙂
haha! I don’t know why I don’t call more people pee-pee head. That’s funny, right there.
Congrats, Don! Glad to learn that you were the winner. Or is it the wiener? 🙂
You should do a review! I was thinking about buying it
Everyone knows that all the cool kids DON’T get Freshly Pressed.
Congraflagrations! (See, it’s a combination of “congratulations” and “conflagrations” because of the fire theme and I’ll show myself out…)
i might have to buy that book. one of my kid’s was a licker. he’d lick my arm, a chair, the wall. whatever. i’m sure he’d lick a minivan! hahaha! nice win!
Love the book and you deserve the win. You didn’t burn anything off? I once lost my eyebrows in a smoking pot from toilet paper roll incident. Don’t tell my kids.
You’ll be Freshly Pressed. I know it and I should know.
Way to get Freshly Pressed…oh wait. That is really disappointing. We have that in common.
Please post a picture of your hubcapless mini van….PLEASE.
Not feeling the blog love, Don?
Well. I think the random number generator picked a winner. It WAS really funny. And not just for a guy.
P.S. – I think that was my favorite description of Leanne’s book that I’ve read so far.