Catchin’ up…for what, the third time?

I promise to make this what have I been doing/where have I been post my last! Lol.

I’ve stared at this white screen for a good two hours already, insisting that I’m not turning the computer off until I’ve pulled a post from my ass. It needn’t even be an entertaining post, just a post will do. I’ve missed not being regular with my posts for several months now, so I’m forcing myself to write.

So far, I’ve distracted myself with eating crap I don’t need and some Family Guy. It’s 11:32 PM and this is it so far, so time to get at it.

Let’s see….what have I been doing, you ask?

Well, the weather has finally heated up, so that means the boys want to be outside ALL THE TIME. I love that they like to play outside. Drinking beer in my chair while the kids do whatever it is they do is one of my favorite pastimes.

Occasionally, they check in with the old man for eats and drinks.

Watermelon is so hit and miss. This one was a hit.

Watermelon is so hit and miss. This one was a hit.

Too much inside time causes the natives much restlessness. Every little thing turns into a pissing match, including who “gets” to clean up sugar that Gman spilled all over the island.

They aren't as eager to pick up dog shit or Lego pieces.

They aren’t as eager to help pick up dog shit or Lego pieces.

As for me, I finally broke down and joined a gym again. I have weights in my basement, but they just weren’t doing it for me. More power to people who can workout at home, but there are too many things to do at home that suck a lot less than working out, so I never really accomplished my goals by going into the basement, aside from short naps on the weight bench.

The gym I joined rocks. It’s rarely  crowded, and in fact, the location closest to my house is often completely devoid of other human beings, thus allowing me to take gym selfies like a teenage girl. In spite of what Julie thinks, gym pics are awful.

Just awful.


I'm actually quite ashamed about taking a gym selfie. #douchebag

I’m actually quite ashamed about taking a gym selfie. #douchebag

Awful, narcissistic feeling selfies aside, I really do feel a lot better about myself than I have in a long time, and I’ve only been at it about a month.

It’s cool to have people mention that I look like I’ve lost a couple of pounds. I don’t weigh myself or worry about what my scale says. I know I’m doing fine by the way my pants fit or how far I have to suck my gut in to fasten my gun belt.

I’ve also spent a couple of afternoons at the pool with the kids, so I’ve got a little color on my skin. Being tan makes everyone look better, right?

Speaking of work, look what still exists, junk yard dogs!

Junk yard warriors.

Junk yard warriors.

They bark aggressively at EVERYthing that goes past their gate. After dark, I sometimes park my car near them when I have to work on reports or do some other mundane task. It’s easy to forget to keep an eye on what’s going on around you when you’re doing certain things, but I trust these two to bark like crazy whenever they see somebody come within fifty yards of the car (their gate).

Let’s see, what else?

Oh, Ace had her last day at the elementary school and Cool graduated preschool.

Here’s Cool thrilled out of his fucking mind that school’s out!

Woo Hoo?

Woo Hoo?

Sort of.

And baby girl is no longer an elementary schooler. I’m working on getting her out of that whole black concert tee shirt look. I don’t even think she went to the Taylor Swift concert for god’s sake.



Okay, mercifully for you guys, that’s all I can force myself to put into this post now.

Thanks to those of you who’ve stuck with me and asked where I’ve been. I appreciate it and promise to try and come around more often.


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29 Responses to Catchin’ up…for what, the third time?

  1. nice to see you’re still around pulling things out of your ass. 😉

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    Welcome back again and again. Thanks for.the updates. The kids are growing up fast. If I ever find a gym devoid of people, I will be there…you’re lookin good. Better that you are feeling good. That’s what’s best.

    Stanley Cup finals…go Rangers! Gotta go with an Original Six.

  3. Paul says:

    Love the gym selfie – what a svelte and sculpted physique. A cougar like presence. Bwahahaha! Great to have you back Don.

  4. REDdog says:

    I know I’m only new in this here part o’ town, Don, but welcome back to my inbox anyway man! Dude, I have a Cool too, he looks exactly the same whether he’s so excited he’s goin’ off like a frog in a sock or so angry he’s having thoughts of homicide…I’d love to be that unflappable. Good luck in the gym man. Cheers REDdog

  5. I went AWOL too. It was great! Good to hear you are still alive!

  6. aliciabenton says:

    Thank Gooood you weren’t flexing in your selfie, at least!! #onlypartdouchebag

  7. Twindaddy says:

    Hey, spending time with your children is infinitely more important than blogging. Don’t apologize for that.

  8. Abby says:

    glad to see my favorite cop is back at it!!!Your kids are adorable as shit as always and I know how it feels as I have not been blogging as I should be…Cant wait to see whats new in the world of Officer Don…

  9. Omg, you are sooo metro, pink shirt, cowboy hat and gym selfies!! Lol!! At least you had on appropriate gym attire! Lol! Not that I have any room to talk the closest I’ve been to a gym, is when I drive by any of the local ones. Ha! So good for you! And BEWARE OF MIDDLE SCHOOL! I will pray for you! I don’t know how yours goes, 6,7,8 or just 7,8, worse years ever!! My daughter just completing 7th. Horrible, not just the girls, the boys also. I am ready to home school her, but we live in CA, everything sucks here! 😝! Glad to see your doing well! 😎! Congrats on getting everyone through the school year, again!

    NIBSIH! 🎉

  10. markbialczak says:

    I was going to be all nice about your return, Don, and then I have to go and read your comment about your attitude about all things New York sport. Ahem. Go Rangers.

    That gym shot? What is it, an outdoor gym, or does it have big picture windows or something?

    So, talking about your new svelteness, you really didn’t have to go any further to regain everybody’s respect than this little phrase right here: “fasten my gun belt.”

    Welcome back, Don. And I’m glad to see we’re both still drinking Bud Light Lime.

  11. Welcome back for the third time DOAT! Don’t make us welcome you back again. Stay this time ’round, mmkay? Watermelon is also hit or miss with me – it’s a hit when soaked in vodka. Could you pretty please send your boys over to clean my counters? Thanks. Oh, and that Ace is sure turning into a beautiful young gal!

  12. Julie says:

    Lifting is where it’s at!! Sun’s out, guns out! And I love that your kids lick sugar. I do same thing. And that is why I lift.
    Thanks for shout out! 🙂

  13. Kristi Campbell - findingninee says:

    Glad you’re back, for now at least, douchebag gym dude who actually looks pretty hot. And whatever to Ace’s t-shirts, at least she knows being at concerts is cool.

  14. mistyslaws says:

    Yay! I missed you. And apparently missed a few of your past posts, as they are not showing up in FB for some reason, so some of it’s my fault. But, before I harassed you mercilessly, I figured I’d check in to see if it was me or you. Looks like a little of both, huh? So I say, we both get a pass! And despite the crappy/douchey gym photo, you DO look like you’ve lost some weight! Good on ya, Don-o. I will not be in that situation until probably next year. But I have the reasons, so there’s that.

  15. Mental Mama says:

    Good to know you’re not dead yet. 😉

  16. Blogdramedy says:

    We are all anticipation for your next post.
    Please include a butt selfie.

  17. bethteliho says:

    Well I’m catching up on reading while you’re catching up on writing. Love your rambling posts so much. Very cute pics of the squiddos too. My boys are living outside too, they love this warmer weather! It’s going to get Africa-hot quick tho. You know…Texas summers.
    You rock, Don. Good job on the penis monologues too. 🙂

  18. Aussa Lorens says:

    Aha, I recognize a few of these photos from instagram. I’m glad you’re alive and I’m totally with you on working out at home– no can do. The Boyfran tried to say that if we had a home gym we would work out so much more because it would “be right there.” Right. I can think of a hell of a lot of things that are “right there” that I’d rather be doing most of the time.

  19. Don! You wrote! I read this the day you posted it and completely forgot to come back and comment. I love the gym selfie, even though if I saw you taking it at my gym, I’d roll my eyes at you. But my favorite is the bud light lime and kid selfie. Cute! I love summer. By far, it’s my favorite time of year, but I bet I’ll have exactly zero time to write.

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