It’s been hot as fuck around these parts lately.
Gman’s been hot.
Cool’s been hot.
And yours truly has been hot.
I hadn’t even left the parking lot at work when I started sweating like the proverbial whore on nickel night. That’s how you know it’s going to be a fabulous fucking shift.
Can you imagine nickel night for a whore? Good Lord, do you think that would include EVERYthing? I’d think sweating would be the least of their concerns, but I’ll digress.
What was I going to say anyway?
I don’t have any pictures of the girls being hot, because they don’t sweat. It’s not because they’re dainty flowers and their shit smells like roses and all that, it’s mostly because they’re not dumbasses and they stay in the air conditioning when it’s 100 degrees outside.
I was going to do a post that was basically a play by play of my Friday night shift at work, but it got too busy to keep up with so I lost interest in it. I had the idea because I’ve gotten a few messages from people saying they like the police related stories. I sometimes forget that what’s ordinary to me at work is actually still asinine and entertaining to “normal” people.
I did have a chuckle when I saw a good sized black dude running down this alley towards my police car. I wasn’t sure if he was being robbed or shot at or what until he bolted to the other side of my car in a frenzy and I saw this big boy following him. I wouldn’t say he was running after the guy so much as he was following him out of curiosity at a leisurely big dog pace. The whole thing ended when the dog became distracted by whatever was in this bag and lost interest in whatever the dude was doing. Thankfully, the dog’s owner came shortly after and took big fella inside before there were any more unfortunate dog/human incidents.
I still may try to do that play by play of my shift thing one day, but until then, I thought it might be fun to have you inquisitive Nellies ask me questions about the job that you’re curious about.
Do I have a ticket quota?
Have I ever shot somebody?
Have I ever pushed a fat, white trash woman down four flights of stairs while she inhaled a bucket of fried chicken the whole way down?
Ask away! Do so in the comments or on that Twitter. I’ll try to remember to check it from time to time. I thinks it’s @The_DOAT.
I’m off to a country concert tonight. Free tickets, so YEEEFUCKIN’HAW!!!
Toby Keith. He seems like he’d put on a good show, but who knows? Who cares, honestly? Drink enough beer and everything is entertaining, right?
What’s a DOAT post without the gratuitous beer drinking selfie, so here ya go.
Ask those questions, people. As you can probably tell, I really have a hard time thinking of stuff to write about nowadays.
Have a great weekend!