Finish the sentence fri, blogging goals or some such crap…

Well crap, watching all the other mother hens having such fun with FTSF has burned me to the core with jealousy, so I’m last minute posting in order to pretend I’m a respected member of the group. Just FYI, nobody has inquired as to whether or why I’m not posting at all, but I’m not bitter.

The sentence today is simply: My blogging goals for this year are…

Yikes.

I can honestly say that I’ve not given this one iota of thought until this very second.

I’ve blogged for just over a year now. Ironically, my wife encouraged me to give blogging a try, possibly because she recognized that I liked to talk out my ass and there are a lot of like minded morons online who like ass originating information. Or, she was simply steering me to you guys, my gentle readers, as a way to avoid having to endure all these inane conversations herself and risking the chance that the kids will overhear the word fuck in one of the many forms I use it in everyday conversation.

I say ironically, because there was a time last year when I felt like when I was blogging, that I was doing something naughty. There were always a million different things that I could be doing instead of staring at my computer screen.

How fucked up is it to be blogging about wanting to spend more time with the wife and kids while they’re in the other room totally available to be spending time with?

When I wasn’t writing I was thinking about what to write.

In order to build up a following, I had to not only read other blogs, but comment and like those blogs repeatedly. Then I had to respond to my own comments and then there’s the trying to get the post noticed on Facebook or Twitter or wherever.

It got to be ridiculous, quite honestly.

I suck at blogging.

I don’t think I suck at telling stories or making people laugh or cry or whatever from time to time, but I do suck at trying to show my posts to multiple social media sites or going to BlogU or BlogHim or whatever they are conventions and interacting with fellow bloggers to discuss blogging so that we can blog about what we learned about blogging to become  more successful bloggers.

What?

What makes a blogger successful anyway?

I suppose there are some people out there making money with their blogs, but I have no ambition for that sort of thing.

I have some followers now. I have about 700 mostly real people following this blog. Is that good? Is 200 not good enough? Am I not successful as a blogger unless I have 1000? 10,000? OMG, I have under 200 likes on the donofalltrades Facebook page! Surely, that means I suck at blogging!

I did have a lot of fun in 2013. I was a contestant on Blogger-Idol, and that was a lot of fun (mostly). I was also Freshly Pressed, which I didn’t think would ever happen, honestly. Maybe I blew my load too early in my blogging life? Too much early success can make for  a letdown later on, or so I’m told.

Most importantly to me, I made a lot of great online friends through blogging. Sure, you might all be pedophiles or closet racists or baby hating, puppy kicking assholes in real life, but I like the online fake you well enough to overlook such possibilities.

In 2014, my goal is to continue to blog when I feel like blogging and to not blog when I don’t. I will not waste time wondering if I’m missed when I don’t post or force myself to rant about a fat guy sneezing under the sneeze guard at Ponderosa just to have a post for publishing.

If I don’t feel like posting, I’ll simply say, “fuck it” and post whenever I’m ready. I spent a lot of time forcing posts this past year and it shows at times.

Blogging has always been meant to be a relaxing, enjoyable release, but it became a bit of a pain in the ass at times because, deep down, I’m a people pleaser. That’s hard for some of you to believe, I know, but I do like most of you and I want to read everyone’s blog and answer every comment and comment on your blogs and then go like your post over here and there and everywhere. Bah!!

Being a good blogger takes a lot of time, and since our time is limited, we must take time from something over here, if we intend to use it over there.

All I want to do in 2014 is keep this fun for me and get comments like “you made me spit my drink out” or “I showed this to my husband and he peed himself laughing.” That’s my favorite part of blogging right there, the interaction. I wish I could observer people reading my garbage when I’ve written a funny piece. Making people laugh is great.

I have also, just this very second, decided to add the goal of having my pal over at Snoozingonthesofa name his third son after me. How random is that?

This whole post has been random and totally sucks, but it’s all you get because I’m off to work job 2 of 2 now!

Cheers to all for a great 2014, blogging and otherwise!

Oh, and before I forget. Ryan from ThatGirlRyan (her name is Ryan and her husband’s name is Ryan. You can’t make that shit up!) Anyway, I’ve inserted an intentionally grammatical error for you to find, even though it’s pissing me off having it there. You’re welcome. Hint, that you’re I just typed isn’t it.

Go check out the hostesses with the mostesses and Kristi too and play along with us.

Janine: Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Kate: Can I get another bottle of whine?
Stephanie: Mommy, for Real
Kristi: Findingninee.com

This entry was posted in Finish the sentence Friday, Humor, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

87 Responses to Finish the sentence fri, blogging goals or some such crap…

  1. Ok Ryan, so maybe there are three or four grammar/spelling errors, but they’re all intentional! Yes, intentional…

  2. The Daily Post had a prompt once about “what would it take to make you say you have a successful blog?” or something like that. I ended up on a rant about not caring about numbers, only interactions and not being a shill for advertising products for WP. My next post got FP’ed which I thought was hysterical that both were on my front page.

    Anyway, I like your blogging goals. I am halfway doing the “Zero to Hero” challenge just to refresh my blog skillz, but what I want, when I want is really the name of the game now.

    • You got mad skillz! It’s back to being fun for me again since I’ve let myself not worry about replying to every comment or read every other blog post. I’ll still try, but I’m not going to lose sleep over not being able to do so.

  3. Sometimes goals can be like diets. For me, if I say I’m going on a diet, I doom myself to failure. If I decide to go on a health kick, however, I do really well. Certain words trigger certain responses in the brain, I think. For me, I don’t set goals for blogging, per se. I set out to blog regularly and to enjoy myself….and it works for me. I choose to be random rather than themed, too, because I think it gives people a better gauge of who I am v. who I’m trying to project.

  4. Jennwith2ns says:

    Don, you are awesome. I would post this post on my blog as my own point of view, except you mentioned that you might mention the work fuck and sometimes kids read my blog. Oh well. Happy New Year!

    • Lol, Jenn, this comment is my favorite because you say the “F” word! Do you think kids read my blog too??? Do they read yours because you make them or are these strange kids drawn to you for unknown reasons?

      • Jennwith2ns says:

        I work with kids and sometimes they creep my blog. I don’t block them, even though I don’t actively invite them most of the time.

        Glad to have made your “comment-day.” :-)

  5. I refuse to commit to a blogging schedule/certain number of posts per week because I never know if I’ll have time to write or anything about which to write.
    I just changed that sentence so that it didn’t end with a preposition (or a proposition, wink, wink, nudge, nudge) because your comment to Ryan about the grammatical error made me paranoid.

    • Hahaha, I made one error intentionally, and then noticed several others but couldn’t change them on my work computer. It’s very odd. Here’s to no schedule! That’s too much like work.

  6. bethteliho says:

    I could have written this myself! I have the same blogging goals for this year. It really is a crazy machine, isn’t it! I want to blog when there’s something in my head that needs to get out. No other reason. I love blogging so dearly…..and it’s the most time consuming hobby I’ve ever had!! Still trying to balance it all.
    Good luck to you in 2014. I’m so happy to be in your circle of blog buds. xo

  7. OOOH. You made it by the skin of your chinny chin chin, Don. Glad to see you begged in to FTSF at the last minute!:)

  8. Nadia says:

    Don, I hope you feel like blogging this year. You’re a favourite, in fact. And is there really a FB page? I need to check it out.

  9. Blew your load too early. Classic Don, just fucking classic. Piss on everyone, do what you want to do. I will read when you write, or I’ll try to, because I have been kind of sucking it up at being supportive lately. I don’t pay much attention to stats either, so you’re not the only one.

    Here’s wishing you many Bud Light Lime’s in 2014!

    • I knew you’d appreciate the early load blowing! I’m trying to cut back on the BLL’s actually, but thanks! Best wishes to you as well! Hey, how’s your boy doing?

      • He’s doing great! He is back home with me and starting back to school tomorrow! Thanks for asking, appreciate the support!

        Is Budweiser going to have to file for Chapter 13 since you’re cutting back?? ;)

  10. markbialczak says:

    You do this thing the right way, Don. Share when you can in 2014. I need your humor, sarcasm, silliness, grumpiness and true-blue realities on my Reader.

  11. rmemommy says:

    I agree with everything you said! I have gotten so caught up in the numbers and “making it” with my blog – whatever that means – that blogging was becoming stressful. I am trying to be more scheduled about it in 2014 and not so hung up on defining success by everyone slew’s terms.

  12. Stephanie Sprenger says:

    OK, I love this. While making me laugh, you actually said some pretty serious stuff about the glaring difference between enjoying writing funny things/making people laugh/being a good writer, and then all the blogging crap and responsibilities and neuroses that accompany it. So, well played- way to craftily integrate some wisdom into this “crappiest post ever.” Also- I love any mention of blowing one’s load or wad. Either one.

  13. I like your style, Don. Those damn analytics software packages will be the death of us all. If we make only one person laugh with our posts, then dammit, we’re successful. Rock on!

  14. gimpet says:

    This is so true. Blogging is more work than my kids and my job together. And I am dumb enough to have 2 blogs, one a poety blog only. Imagine having to think all that shit up, people don’t follow poetry blogs unless they are GOOD. I had a manic period and created 30 poems and 40 posts then let them ride for a few months and took a break. Some of my favorite bloggers have stopped for the same reason, too much time commitment. Hope you stick it out Don, I need your humor!

    • Thank you! As long as life keeps feeding me material, I hope to share it. I read many of those poems and they were good! Of course, what the hell do I know about poetry? Lol. Keep it up your own bad self!

  15. ksujulie says:

    Interaction is my favorite part too. I like to make people laugh. Oh, and nice win here, MIZZOU. I’m laughing. ha
    And too bad Snoozingonthesofa isn’t having a girl…JULIE…JULIA….JULIETTE are solid choices.

  16. I’m so behind. I didn’t know you were supposed to have thousands of followers and get paid? What? Nobody told me nothing about getting paid when I signed up for this, so I’m same paging with you on that, and it pained me to type a double negative. I like that you had to purposefully make errors. Also, I pretty much spit my drink out every time I read anything on your blog, and I just found your follow button. You have a new follower. I’m getting you closer to 10000. You’re welcome.

  17. Laura Lynn says:

    I don’t believe anyone is following me. I look in my rear view mirror a LOT and I’d notice if they were. Especially on a small island like this. I have spent the past two months writing a book on my blog. That’s how bloody considerate I am. NOT. It’s a romance novel. No one probably likes it but that hasn’t stopped me, has it? People are still following me and I simply cannot believe they read anything I write. And I don’t care. I still don’t know why anyone would follow me and I suspect they are arse kissing sycophants who only want me to go to their blogs and follow them and they don’t give a shit if I read them or not they just want a big following.
    Who knows whats going to happen in the New Year? Hopefully I will have to re name my blog. And I can take the word ‘cancer’ out of it. I’ll just be ‘Crazy Ranting Bitch With Amazing Hair Naked Elvis Pictures’ (that ought to get a lot of hits)

    • You would get a shit ton of hits! Lets do get that cancer out of there though for real though, ok!?? That’d be a great year’s accomplishment. Who knows why people read this or that. There’s a reader for all of us, I guess, just like love.

  18. lrconsiderer says:

    Ha! Good for you for sticking to the fun and the interaction.

    And you do write good.

  19. Rhonda says:

    Ha! I like the online fake me much better than the puppy kicking asshole side of me too.

  20. MommyVerbs says:

    One of my friends called me out on the same exact thing once…you are so busy writing about time with your kids that you are not spending time with your kids. Ouch. But I’m documenting…that’s an important job, too. I do have bigger plans for this bloggy space, just finding the time to work it and still have fun with it. But, I’m with you…blog when the blog feels right. Thanks for this! I needed these words!

    • Hey, tell your friends that we recognize the absurdity of our actions and that it’s not their place to call us out on it! Just read it and pretend to like it. Best of luck with your plans; I know you’ll get there.

  21. I thought my “Follow” button wasn’t working for your blog as I haven’t seen a post for a while. Your resolution to blog when there’s something you can easily pull out of your ass must be the way to go. Blogging can consume you!! Happy New Year!!! PS: I though you were going to say this year your resolution was to write a book. :)

  22. rynolexson says:

    Don Don, you are the best. I needed to see this.
    I believe you only posted it to get all these fine people to comment and tell you how wonderful you are because you are an attention whore, but hey I’m not judging. :)
    You’re right, we blog for the laughs. And that is why I refuse to proofread this comment after I finish writing it. And I started these two sentences with AND.
    I did however catch this error on your post: “observer people”.
    If there are more… well I am too lazy to find it.

  23. Lolly says:

    I can see why your wife steered you to blogging……J/K! I’m a horrible blogger, I read more then I post but who cares? Not me! Keep on keepin’ on. I enjoy your shit so I hope you do it more lol

    • Thank you so much for enjoying my shit; I was wondering if anybody really did for a long time. It’s been great to have you around; me likey fun commentors. commenters? whatever.

  24. Lolly says:

    FYI….”Most importantly to me, I made a lot of great online friends through blogging. Sure, you might all be pedophiles or closet racists or baby hating, puppy kicking assholes in real life, but I like the online fake you well enough to overlook such possibilities.” Coffee on keyboard………….thanks :0/ lol SUCCESS!

  25. It’s your blog. Do what you want, and when. At least, that’s the attitude I have for my blog. Do I have a ton of followers? No, but all I care about, is having some that actually comment and get something from what I write once in a while. Happy New Year! Here’s to doing it your way!

  26. I’m glad you are going to continue blogging whenever you want with no pressure! I have been wondering how people do it? It is a lot of work to write, read, comment, tweet, etc. I think my family is feeling quite neglected. If this new method works for you, let me know and I’ll give it a try. Happy New Year, Don!

    • There’s something to be said for neglecting one’s family, but it’s the other life activities like working for a living that are hard to neglect. It’s a fine line, but I’m working on it as I’m sure you are as well. Thank you for all your comments this year, it’s been fun.

  27. Louise says:

    Yes, yes, yes to much of this! Blogging should be enjoyable, not the time-suck it can become if you let it. Best of luck for balancing it with actual real life!

  28. It sure does blow to write when you aren’t inspired. I feel that too. STILL trying to work that one out. I haven’t read the other comments so don’t know what’s been said about the grammatical error and can’t be bothered heading back for the reread. What was it? Btw…you know you erote intentionally instead of intentional right? Was THAT intentional??

    • That one was NOT intentional, sadly. There were several it turned out, but I can’t stand to edit on my phone and my work computer will only let me compose the first post and not edit afterwards. It’s weird. You post on set days, don’t you? That’s too much for me to do I think. does it work for you? I guess that’s a dumb question since you do.

      • haha well I chose set days as I thought that then I could write when I was inspired and schedule them. And that does work well when I have lots of ideas and I get around to writing them. However I most often put it off and am then scrambling to write on the day. LOL So in theory it works if you carry out the practice. On the few times I have scheduled ahead I have LOVED it.

  29. 1jaded1 says:

    For what it is worth, I don’t think you suck at blogging. I look forward to reading your posts…and spitting my drink out…that’s twisted.

  30. okay, so i felt like i was reading my blogging goals for 2014 here, since i don’t have any either. and i went thru exactly the same love / obligation pressure. and i suck at selling myself. it all became a bit much of work. so im taking 2014 down a blogging notch as well. i started posting 3x a week, then down to 2. now i’m more like when i feel like it. i love writing essays but i am sometimes at a loss at what i’m doing here. okay, i just babbled unnecessarily about myself. carry on, now.

    • Blogger-Idol sort of put it into perspective for me. On the one hand, it cemented in my head that I can hang with the good writers if I put my mind to it, at least a little bit, but I’m not a great “blogger” in the sense of keeping my readers updated on my life via every social media site there is. I’m good with that and glad to have become your online Christian buddy in 2003!

  31. canigetanotherbottleofwhine says:

    You have 700 followers? Freaking-A. I hate you.

    It’s really good to know that women aren’t the only ones that can get a little obsessive about this whole blogging thing and being a people-pleaser.

    And you always make me laugh which means you’re a blogging rock star. And I noticed you weren’t doing FTSF, I just figured you WEREN’T a people-pleaser and were doing whatever you wanted, which I admired, but now I know it’s a sham and you’re just like me.

    • canigetanotherbottleofwhine says:

      And, btw, I don’t think I’ve ever come back to see if you’ve responded to my comments. I bet you they’re good. I’m afraid to click that little box down there to get follow-ups bc it usually means I’ll end up getting everybody else’s comments in my inbox too.

    • A little obsessive? You’re crazy and were actually who I had in mind while wondering how people kept up with it all!

      • canigetanotherbottleofwhine says:

        I don’t keep up with it all, that’s why I’m resolving to change things. I’m still obsessive though.

  32. Katia says:

    That was awesome.And what a great perspective on the moronity of it all!

    What I’m walking away with is this. My husband should SO start blogging!

  33. Go Jules Go says:

    I’d say I spit out my vodka reading this, but you know I’d never waste vodka like that.

    It’s so true that you start out blogging having NO CLUE that the best part is the online, fake friendships. Can’t wait to see how you NEARLY make me spill vodka in 2014! (‘Cause you, my friend, do NOT suck at blogging.)

  34. findingninee says:

    WTF where’s my comment? Seriously I’ve read this three times now. Am I blind? Drunk? I KNOW I commented. Did I say something dumb and you had to delete it??? I love our onlone fake friendship. I really am this cool in person, too. Really. Glad to know I’m not the only one who worries, too.

    • I read your answers on that insane asylum site or whatever, so I’m questioning your coolness in real life. Lol. I don’t know where your comment went, dear. I know you commented on something though. Maybe my last post before this piece of shit?

  35. Poor Ryan, we both commented on the grammatical errors. As an aside, a grammar quiz happened to pop up in my Facebook feed last night – I scored 100% ;) It might be different for you because of your genre, but as a food blogger, the whole concept of other food bloggers commenting, liking, linking up with … other food bloggers for followers is almost nonsensical to me. It’s other people we should be drawing in as followers, not each other. Then there are those who seem to do giveaways just to drive up their numbers, and I wonder about those who never seem to post the winner – which makes people keep coming back to check, which again drives up their page views. It all seems so artificial! Since I have to eat anyways, I’m just gonna keep on doing it and post whatever I think someone else might appreciate – no pressure, no stress.

  36. Dana says:

    I have the same goals as you do, Don, but I fear I will have trouble just going with the flow. I want to keep blogging enjoyable- not a chore. But I agree – knowing that I made someone laugh or gave them some useful information (not often, but still) – is a great feeling. And hey – if you ever need a quick post, do a vlog of you chugging a Bud Light Lime or whatever crappy beer it is that you drink :)

  37. markbialczak says:

    Don, Because you are a very bright guy, I nominate you for The Lighthouse Award. Your humor and life view make me better. http://markbialczak.com/2014/01/07/the-lighthouse-award-has-me-feeling-bright/

  38. If you suck at blogging, then I worse than suck. You’ve got people fawning all over you every damn day! If it weren’t for the Bud Light, you’d probably be the most interesting man in the world.
    Oh, and let me know when you change your name to something cool so I can put it on the short list.

  39. You have EIGHTY COMMENTS ON HERE?! Overachiever. Pfff. I totally get where you’re coming from. I am pretty chatty on FB but when I don’t feel like blogging, I don’t do it. I would like make money but that requires work. Meh. I write because I like to and I don’t want to get to a point where I don’t like it anymore.

    • Yay, a famous person stopped by!!! Half of the comments are mine and most of the others are from the FTSF group who feel bad if they don’t comment on another blog, so winner!!

  40. Aussa Lorens says:

    Um, this: “Sure, you might all be pedophiles or closet racists or baby hating, puppy kicking assholes in real life, but I like the online fake you well enough to overlook such possibilities.”
    That is why I will keep coming back.
    Wait. I mean… not because I’m any of these things but because it’s funny.
    Promise…

  41. MissFourEyes says:

    I like your goal. Blog when you want to. When you don’t feel like it, what’s the point really?
    Also, blogging does feel a little naughty. I have no idea why.

  42. Piper George says:

    Yep – no need to stress about the blogging, that defeats the objective of it being fun and a release. Unless you want to make some dosh at it – then you should really be stressing. And working harder. I’m in it for the adoration really. (Not that that’s working for me, yet. )

  43. Pingback: You want to name him what? « Snoozing on the Sofa

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