F f f f forty…

Well, let’s just cut right to the chase.

I made it to forty.

I am a forty year old man.

This is how it feels at times…

Note Feb 24, 2013 (1)

I’m forty’s bitch…

I hope you get shit stains on your shoe, jerk!

I know it’s just another number, but it’s a big number.  I remember when a 30 year old was a really old person to me!  It doesn’t seem like that long ago at all.  It wasn’t that long ago!

Those old people warned me at the time.

They told me that I’d be thirty before I realized it.

I don’t realize it, and I’m beyond 30 all the way to 40!  What a shocker it’ll be when I do finally realize it.

Watch out 20 year olds, 30 and 40 are coming fast!

When I used to hear the word 40, I thought of this and nothing else!

Did you say 40?

Did you say 40?

Now I immediately think about my age and physicals that I should get and prostate exams and crap like that.  Do you know what happens at a prostate exam?  Good God!!

When I turned 30, it really wasn’t a big deal at all.  We had a nice party, and physically, I still felt pretty good.

I was about to start law school and my first born was still 4 months away.  I had a designated driver everywhere I went with my beloved, pregnant wife, so life was great!

Ten years later, I’m a 40 year old man with a 9 year old, a 4 year old and G$, not quite 2.

40 year old men really shouldn’t have toddlers, but I dropped the ball on that one.

I cope pretty well with my life by sipping a cold one from time to time.

Untitled 3

Oh yeah, that hits the spot.

And I certainly never have thoughts about doing this while the kids and dog are making me nuts.

What is this, a cliff?

What is this, a cliff?

Ha ha, sorry, I was playing with my new stylus.

Actually, my life is still pretty great.  REALLY great!

I’m a lucky son of a bitch and I know that.  I probably don’t deserved half the blessings I’ve been given in my life.  I must have been an awesome man in a prior life!

Other than having to squint to see the text on my phone from time to time, and the grey hair, the bum knees, plantar fasciitis, occasional bad back, possible carpel tunnel syndrome, loss of memory or ability to remember why I entered a room and extra weight in the midsection, I’m doing really well.

Damn you extra weight in the midsection!

Damn you extra weight in the midsection!

I was really hoping to look better in my “F” for forty super hero get up.

So while 40 isn’t my favorite age, and I did let it creep into my head and psych me out more than any other birthday ever has for some reason, it’s not a big deal at all.

When I’m pushing 50, I’ll be begging for this day again.

I’m lucky to still have my health.

Both my parents and my in-laws are healthy, along with the rest of the family (and I don’t just cherish that because we need free sitters).

Jojo is still around.  She’s been with me since I was a 20 something, that poor dog!

I have a job I enjoy, a wife I love and who loves me in spite of me, and kids who keep me young.

I currently have 9 minutes of my thirties left and I’m sipping the second to last Bud Light Lime I have left in the whole house.

I’m sorry that this post probably sucks, but I’ve been enjoying cocktails and I’m distracted by a delicious looking cake that my wife made me.  It’s taunting me from the kitchen island as I type this.

Yeah, I’m not perfect and I’m no longer a pup, but I still think my life is great.

I mean I still have another beer left and that cake…that chocolate cake looks great!

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35 Responses to F f f f forty…

  1. whinybaby says:

    As my Eastern European great-grandfather used to say, Happy Boisday! Enjoy the cake. 🙂

  2. Happy Birthday! I’d toast, but all I have is Coca-Cola in a Solo cup. Have a great year!

  3. Happy 40th Birthday! Hope you drink lots of 40s to celebrate! I’m turning 30 next year… You’re making me anxious already lol

    • Oh goodness, you’re still a baby! They don’t sell 40 ouncers in my area, sadly. The homeless ruined it for all of us. But I’ll drink the equivalent in smaller units! Units!! Lol!

  4. Eat a piece of cake for me and honestly, I don’t think 50 will be so bad. You can start getting away with your jackassery because people allow for you getting old then 😉

  5. cookie1986 says:

    Happiest of Birthdays to you, my American friend. Hope the day is filled with bud light lime and chocolate cake and a little bit of naked time! 😉

    • Thanks, Canada! May you not sneeze and piss your sweatpants.

      Naked time? You mean pooping?

      • cookie1986 says:

        I was thinking that a birthday usually mean it’s a wifey obligation for sexy time. At least up here in the north it is. Or is sex even allowed after 3 kids? I’d be scared.

      • Apparently, I stayed up too late last night and momma fell asleep, so I’m going to try to remember to get to bed earlier tonight! And it wasn’t allowed until I went to get fixed, that’s for sure!

  6. Happy Birthday to you! This reminds me of a line from a Toby Keith song, “I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was.” 😉

  7. MissFourEyes says:

    Happy Birthday, Don!

  8. Amber Perea says:

    Happy Birthday! May the 40’s treat you better than the 30’s and the pain you inflicted on your body in your 20’s not come back to haunt you! 😉

  9. ethelthedean says:

    Happy birthday sir! I do enjoy these cartoons.

  10. Carol says:

    To my favorite 40 year old – until Jen crosses that milestone – Love your work mother

  11. Mancakes says:

    Happy birthday Don! I love the pic of you above…40 and still a sexy beast in your red superhero bodysuit! 😉

  12. modeejae says:

    Followed you from another blog… ummm… can’t remember which one. That happens when you’re 40. I’ve been 40 for a couple of months now and I’m still not comfortable with it. One of my kids used to tell her teachers that I was born in 1917. o.O I look pretty good for 95 I think!

  13. rossmurray1 says:

    Didn’t you hear? 40 is the new 40.
    Happy birthday, and don’t worry, you still have rogue ear hairs ahead of you. Second puberty is a gas!

  14. breezyk says:

    Happy birthday! I didn’t even know it was your birthday and had like, 5 celebratory beers for you last night. So there you go 😉

  15. 1tric says:

    Big apologies for missing this major post yesterday. I regularly tune into bbc international news but they missed it too. Reading the comments I can only hope you had a good night last night!! I will insist we have drinks for you tonight. Enjoy your forties. I’m having the best time yet.Old enough to have come to terms with who we are and young enough to still party!

  16. carlienoelle says:

    I love this. Your writing is extremely entertaining.

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