Summatime and stuff…

Happy Birthday, ‘Merika! You’re fucked up in a lot of ways, but still one helluva great pal to me.  I’d not trade you for any other country.  Well, maybe Italy or someplace tropical?  I’d not trade you for MOST other countries for sure!

So I was just sitting here cramming a delicious fucking donut in my face hole when I figured I may as well write another blog post about nothing since I’m too distracted by sugary goodness to work.  It’s really good, or I’d not have cursed to prove that point!  See?  This is donut number one; I’ll spare you pictures of the others, er other.

Black and white getting along just fine here.

Black and white getting along just fine here.

Summer is going splendidly, if I may say so even though none of you asked.  Wife and I work, come home to wrangle the kids some grub before laboring to get them into bed, watch a little TV, fall asleep and then repeat it all over again the next day.  It’s sort of like winter and fall and spring, now that I see it in words. Sigh…

Fret not for us though friends as it’s not all work and no play for the DOAT clan.  Now that T-ball is over, there’s one less thing for me to deal with.  Did I mention that I coached Cool’s T-ball team?  I don’t know why I always think it’s going to be fun, because it’s really quite a pain in the ass to coach a little league team, even T-ball. I may have felt guilty because I coached Ace’s team way back when.

Ace could always swing a bat really well.

Ace is a really good hitter.

Ace is a really good hitter.

Defensively, she’s always focused and never distracted or dancing to her own little beat.

Ready for action?

Ready for action?

They were a great bunch of girls so I coached their soccer team as well.  It’s basically a herd of kids running after a ball at that age, but it was fun.

Watch out for the herd!

Watch out for the herd!

Well, it wasn’t ALWAYS fun…

I hate my coach...

I hate my coach…

Ace and I butted heads a LOT during soccer for some reason.  She didn’t care to listen and she’s mostly anti-running.  Unfortunately, there’s some running that must be done in order to play soccer.  She tried goalie and liked it, but I don’t like kids playing goalie the whole game at that age because they’re not getting any exercise that way and they should experience all the different positions.  She didn’t care for that philosophy.

My assistant coach wasn’t all that helpful either.

Hi Don, I'll stand over here with my beer even though it's 10am, ok?

Hi Don, I’ll stand over here with my beer even though it’s 10am, ok?

Anyway, it all worked out in the end.  The girls played hard, learned to play the sport, and more importantly, how to be good sports.

Everybody shakes hands...

Everybody shakes hands…

They all get trophies at that age, and I’m fine with that.  There should be an age where trophies and medals are reserved for those who’ve actually won, but that time isn’t right now.

The smile is worth the headaches...

The smile is worth the headaches…

Boys are completely different than girls on the field.  As preschoolers, they’re very similar with respect to their skills, but the boys are a little bit crazier.  They were more difficult to control and spent much of the time diving on top of each other and rolling around in the dirt.  Still, they were better on the last day than they were at the first practice, so that’s something.

Look at that tiny Cool!

Look at that tiny Cool!

They do stand still sometimes, but you have to move them around manually to get them where you want them.

Cool, like his sister, was a natural with the bat.  For a boy who developed very, very slowly physically, and is still tiny for his age (19th percentile now) he’s a pretty good athlete.

Practicing at home and also in the sporting department at Walmart after they pissed me off by taking so long to change the oil in my truck really paid off.

Booya, all the way to the electronics department.

Booya, all the way to the electronics department.

Anyway, we finally got to enjoy some sno cones.  That’s summer to me, a good New Orleans style snow cone with the shaved ice.  I always get half banana and half watermelon.  Why try new flavors and risk hating it?

Ace tries new flavors sometimes.  How’s that working out for you, Ace?

Um, yummy?

Um, yummy?

Yeah, that doesn’t look like a girl who’s enjoying her sno cone to me either.  Ha ha, should have stuck to your beloved Tigerblood, Ace!

The boys liked their sno cone just fine.  They’ll suck down any frozen treat and like it.

Whooooo!  Ice cream!

Whooooo! Ice cream!

We also managed to make it to a Cardinal’s game, but Ace was at camp that week so we’ll need to do it again with her in tow.  It just isn’t the same without her around.

Still, Cool got to walk on the field.

Standing under Ozzie on the wall...

Standing under Ozzie on the wall…

And G$, well, G$ was himself.  He found something new he liked.

Pffft, it don't need a lime, daddy you putz...

Pffft, it don’t need a lime, daddy you putz…

I think Wife and I have finally decided that we’re going to take the kids to the beach this summer as well.  Everything is so expensive nowadays, but these kids aren’t going to be able to tolerate each other much longer so we figure we may as well take advantage of the fact that they mostly like each other still while we can.

I wish I could say the beach will be ever sooooo relaxing, but it won’t be.  It’s a bit of work keeping an eye on all three of them at once.  Plus somebody has to haul all the crap to and from the beach, etc.  Still, as long as there’s some time for a couple of cold ones in the sun, it’ll be worth it.

Don't judge me!

Don’t judge me!

I hope your summer is going well.  Go out and do something fun, if not!  Do it!

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39 Responses to Summatime and stuff…

  1. ardenrr says:

    South Carolina has some pretty sweet beaches! I’m heading up to the ol’ Dirty Myrtle after work today! By the way, I don’t know if I’ve said this, but your kids are pretty damn cute. They must get it from their Mom…..

  2. I always daydream about coaching my daughter on a sports team when she’d old enough. Thanks for the reality check… haha ;p

    Also, that donut? You’re a mean man for posting that picture.

  3. Great pics! I love the ice cream photo. I know that face (and associated yell) so well.

  4. aliciabenton says:

    That ice cream picture is the greatest. Ever.

    I want to be your next assistant coach. Looks like a pretty sweet job.

    Oh, and that doughnut isn’t going to help you with that little BMI problem you’ve been bitching about lately. Just saying.

  5. ACE is the queen! Tigerblood!! damn straight. That’s my girl.
    and…….uh….Otter Banks? foot loose and fancy free… even help you cart all your shit…omg…to the beach…now I got the tickles…

  6. G$ is definitely your prodigy. Have fun at the beach…it will be fun once you have your cold ones in the sun…!

  7. So what you’re saying is G$ is tougher than you because he can drink the Bud Light without the lime?? lol

  8. twindaddy says:

    A cop eating a doughnut, huh? How original.

  9. Katie says:

    So about that fitness regime…

  10. goldfish says:

    You’re not doing much to dismiss the cop/donut cliche. 😉

  11. Christina says:

    IIs anything EVER relaxing with three kids?

  12. midwestkite says:

    Loved the donut caption! I just met an Asian girl named Donut. Apparently in some places, kids are named after their father’s favorite food. I could have been Strawberry Milkshake. Happy Summer!

  13. Toes in the water, ass in the sand…not a bad way to spend the day.

  14. pegoleg says:

    I wouldn’t be a kids’ team coach if you paid me – way too much hassle, and I mean from the parents. On second thought, I’d probably do it if you paid me. A lot.

  15. tric says:

    Ha ha. Loved all of this except the bit where you put Italy instead of Ireland as your other country of choice! Also If you’re in Myrtle beach tip well as there are some Irish waitresses there who I hear are amazing!

  16. sassypanties says:

    DOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!! Oh how I’ve missed you!!!! 36 wake-ups till Maui! JUS-MOTHERFUCKING-SAYIN!!!

  17. i am knee deep in baseball. two of my boys play travel ball and my youngest is being ‘primed’. my husband is Mr. Baseball, and coaching is his psychotic calling. good luck at the beach. you’ll be snorting donuts after that fun family day.

  18. Daile says:

    Trying new things can never end well. You need to teach Ace that now. Now I feel like a donut and a sno cone. And maybe a beer. It’s Winter here so screw you.

    • A snow cone donut!! She’ll learn, it’s been tough to break her spirit for new things, but I will. Hopefully before she runs off to LA and Mexico or something silly. My phone says the high was 72 degrees in Brisbane. If that’s winter then no, screw you!

  19. First of all, your kids are soooo incredibly adorable!! The donut looked amazing. Coaching is a lot of work, exhausting and other parents can make it hell. Just you wait, when the kids get older (in 100 years) there will be a time when you don’t have to carry everything because you make them do it, you and your wife will actually be able to sit on your beach chairs without having to move except for to place liquids and solids into your mouth. You won’t have to watch the kids OR play paddle ball with little ones that can’t hit the ball back to you, or build castles that they will end of stepping on accidentally, or have to take one of them to the bathroom only to find that the one that didn’t have to go, now does. When we reached this stage…we knew there was a GOD. 🙂

  20. The Cutter says:

    A police officer who likes donuts? Odd. And yeah, just recently got back from the beach. Not the most realxing time with kids en tow. But still fun.

  21. mollytopia says:

    Your photo captions kill me! And that photo of the crying is priceless – love this post. Enjoy the beach! It’s the perfect time of year for kids to get two pounds of sand in their butt cracks and whine about it : )

    • Sand everywhere!! Uggh! We haven’t found a place that doesn’t cost a bazillion bucks yet, so we may not go. Wish us luck!

      • mollytopia says:

        Right? After Labor Day, prices and temperatures drop to a reasonable level. Prices in Tybee are okay, and it’s really small and fun : ). Today’s our last day – boooo.

  22. *gasps at assistant coach beer pic* Really, assistant coach? Really?

  23. Go Jules Go says:

    Well, DOAT, who wants a sno-cone when you can have a Diversity Doughnut?? Or a beer next to a goal post (I’m sorry he made your coaching life difficult, but he is my hero)??

    How do these children even hold bats and kick soccer balls? They’re so tiny.

    You KILLED me with, “It’s sort of like winter and fall and spring, now that I see it in words.”

    • We TOTALLY do call them diversity donuts! Yay Jules! He put the ass in assistant, that’s for sure. Really though, with what he knew about soccer, it was the best place for him. Hope all is well with you!

  24. Carrie Rubin says:

    Very nice of you to coach for your kids. That’s deserving of a donut or two in and of itself. But I’ll ignore the photo of the child with the beer bottle. Closing my eyes now…

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