Sometimes, when the mood strikes me, I like to rant about something ridiculous like that Asian woman last week whose attempt to back into a parking space while simultaneously blocking my access to the McDonald’s drive-thru lane for coffee nearly sent me into a tizzy of epic proportions before she finally decided that parking was too difficult and left to eat at the less crowded Jack in the Box across the street. Dumb bitch. Or I may erupt about things that don’t even affect my life directly one bit, like school snacks or, more accurately, the lack thereof.
I admit that I can be a bitch. It’s part of my charm or something like that.
In a display of never before seen from me common sense, I nixed posting a rant I had started that involved me being tired of people asking me, mostly via FB meme, to quit staring at their obnoxious kids. I see lots of these posted by moms with autistic kids, especially. Hey, if your kid is having a meltdown and people are staring at you then go ahead and take your frustrations with your kid out on the people around you.
Yelling, “What the fuck are your people looking at!??” or something similar to curious bystanders is probably much more cathartic and useful than posting a meme on FB to your friends, who probably already know you and understand your situation. I very much doubt that the typical Walmart shopper, Cletus McGoatfucker, is going to keep his eyes affixed upon his case of Keystone Light so as to not appear judgmental while your kid is flipping the fuck out because he saw your meme and understands that you may be dealing with a “differently abled” little person. I could be wrong though.
It’s their right to judge, but it’s your right to call them out as assholes and tell them to mind their own business!
Anyway, I didn’t want to offend my autistic mommy bloggers and have that community angry at me again over a misunderstanding so I’m going to bitch about customer service istead.
I don’t do fast food too often, but we went to Wendy’s in order to get some quick food into G$’s belly before he went all G$ on us and I ordered myself an iced tea. The drive thru employee was very obviously a mostly disinterested young black woman.
Me: And I’d like an iced tea, please.
Her: Hi C?
Me: No, I said iced tea.
Her: You want an Icee?
Me to Wife: Is this gal fucking with me??
Me: ICED TEA!!!! TEA!!!!!
Skeptical upon receiving my beverage that it was indeed tea, I checked it and was delighted to see that there was iced tea in my cup. When I asked for Sweet ‘n Low, she told me that they didn’t have Sweet ‘n Low, but they had sugar packets.
Ugh, I told her I’d take a couple sugar packets and as we were driving away, the wife says, “That doesn’t sound right, pull over. They’ve got to have Sweet ‘n Low.”
So the little lady goes into Wendy’s and alighted from the store with little pink packets of sweet stuff.
Wife gets in the car and says, “They don’t have Sweet ‘n Low, they have Sweet Crystals.”
Well fuck me! Sweet Crystals comes in the little pink packets.
While technically they didn’t have Sweet ‘n Low, the alternative to it isn’t to offer sugar packets, it’s to just give me the other pink packets!! That seems like common sense to me, but maybe it’s cultural as just to make a point, I went to a different Wendy’s a few days later and ordered the same drink and Sweet ‘n Low. The clearly mostly disinterested white woman working the window this time gave me Sweet Crystals instead of telling me they had a completely different sort of sweetening product altogether!
Is it just me? It’s not, right?
Ok, one more beef, this time about something where I wasn’t even present. Sad, I know!
Wife bought a couple packs of Schnuck’s (that’s our local grocery store) brand lunch meat in those Tupperware type packages and found them to be slimy and gross the very day she brought them home. The meat inside was slimy and gross, not the packages.
When told by Wife that she would like to return the randy meat, the customer service woman says to her, “I buy this lunch meat
all the time and it’s really good.”
Nobody asked you if you liked the brand or not lady! It’s slimy and smells rank so we ain’t gonna eat it. I wish wife had told her that if she’d eat some of it, that wife would leave without the refund, but she didn’t.
Next time lady, just say something like, “Oh, I’m sorry you weren’t satisfied with your purchase, ma’am, I’ll return your money right away.”
See that? Fuck you lady!
While I’m aware that I get more worked up over stupid things than most, surely these sorts of fucktardation aren’t only annoying to me, are they?