It’s unfortunate that I spent my last post bitching about stupidity because I have so much to bitch about today as well, but I don’t want to over stimulate my readers with my crankiness.
Oh Don, what’s eating your ass now?
Well, since you asked, dear reader, aside from the fact that my beloved Cardinals embarrassed themselves in the World Series, there are several things rubbing me the wrong way this morning, and it’s not even 10am!
They are little things, but still, little things add up and make that vein in my forehead throb and pulsate unnaturally.
1. The American Psychological Association has allegedly decided that pedophilia is now a sexual preference instead of a sexual disorder. I don’t know if this is true or not, so if somebody wants to research this, please let us know.
Here’s a good test though. If you look at this picture below and think, “Hmmm, I’d like to tap that one on the right, then you’re a sick fuck, whether you act on it or not.” That’s a young G$, by the way, so approach at your own risk.
2. It’s raining where we are and there are people all atwitter about whether or not to move Trick or Treating to another day or oh my God, can we do it indoors somewhere?
Dress your kid like a fucking duck or fish or whatever and send him or her out into the rain! If your child doesn’t want to get wet then give him an umbrella. If he balks at that, then maybe he doesn’t want candy that badly. If somebody knocks on my door the night of November 1st dressed as anything and looking for candy, I will follow them home and tell them that they can retrieve their Snicker Bar from their dad’s rectum, as that’s where I shall put it.
3. I live in a pretty large subdivision and we have a Facebook page. I probably shouldn’t bitch about neighbors on here because one of them will read it and I’ll be ostracized forever, but I must. Knowing things about the people around you is frightening. With some of the things that people post, I wonder how in God’s name many of them are able to accomplish even the simplest of tasks. As an example, once, during a tornado storm so severe we actually woke a sleeping G$ to take him to the basement, somebody on the page posted, during the storm mind you, “Is anybody else going into their basement? I can’t decide if we need to go to the basement or not.” HOLY FUCK! There was literally a tornado tearing through the area and this woman’s best course of action was to post this question on FB (it was around midnight) and hope that somebody not only saw it, but responded to it in time for her to make her decision. The tornado missed us, but it came very close. Good luck to this woman’s children!
There are countless other examples of buffoonery that I won’t get into, but suffice to say reading it often makes my eyelid twitch and my brain want to jump out of my ear so it can run off into traffic.
As it’s Halloween, I’ll stop now and wish you and yours a good time tonight!
I shall dress up as the cow for the 18th year in a row. I’ve worn this costume from some gay bar in Pasadena, CA to all over North Texas and right here in the St. Louis Metro area and never had a bad time.
The Bud Light Lime helps.
The kids will probably also dress up, whatever. They did last year.
And the year before.
And in years prior as well…
You get the idea and yes, I am totally just subjecting you to pictures of my kids unnecessarily because they’re cute.
Have fun y’all!
Oh, I came across the Husky Spider Man costume picture again and laughed just as I did when I saw it the first time. I’m mature like that.
Ok, I’m done now.