Ok, so I wrote this below post while I was obliterating a twelve pack of Bud Light Lime last night. Don’t you judge me!
It’s a FTSF post. Against my better judgment, I’m going to post it even though I recognize it to be um, not my best work? Let’s go with that.
Here’s the sentence:
We can either be traditional or non-traditional in the way we do things, I…
I don’t have a clue where to go with this, so I’ll just start typing.
It’s a little after 9pm, and, as per tradition, I have missed the kickoff to Finish The Sentence Friday once again.
I’m pretty buzzed right now. I came home from work and had some cold ones while the Blues were on television beating the Rangers. The Blues are the local NHL (hockey) team, for those of you who are women or girly men or people who don’t reside in Canada. Ha, that whole sentence reeks of political incorrectness, but it’s staying.
That’s pretty traditional for a middle aged man, right? Coming home from a long day at work to drink and watch sports? Being politically incorrect is also a tradition with the men in my family, so there’s that as well.
Wife had a hair appointment this evening. That meant I was
stuck with my blessed to have some alone time with the kids tonight.
First things first, we had a traditional funeral for a lost loved one. I’m sorry for the graphic depiction of the deceased’s insides spewing out, but the embalmer was terrible.
This poor chap was apparently left in the freezer the night before when I may or may not have also been drinking. I mean it was a Wednesday, right? Celebrating days that end in a “y” by drinking beer is sort of another tradition I have.
There were 57 varieties of leftovers in the refrigerator, but the kids coaxed me into making spaghetti for dinner.
While I’d like to believe that it’s because they love my cooking, I know the truth is that they simply wanted it to take longer for me to get dinner on the table because they were involved in a pretty intense game of something or other on the Wii.
I fed and bathed the little buggers. I rubbed their little bodies with lotion, even though I hate the feel of lotion all over my skin. I got their hair and teeth brushed, corralled all the necessary accouterments, such as G$’s precious brown blanket, and chucked them all into bed without any resistance.
The kids were really good tonight and I still find myself sitting here wondering just how in the flaming fuck single parents do what I just did everyday and not lose their mind?
Even with good kids, I’m exhausted, both mentally and physically. Plus, there’s still work to be done.
That pot of spaghetti and all these plates aren’t going to clean themselves.
Part of our tradition is that while one of us puts the kids to bed, the other cleans up the dinner mess. I could leave it for the wife I guess, since I did put the kids to bed. Cleaning dishes is traditionally woman’s work anyway, right?
I could almost hear your buttholes pucker upon reading that last sentence, ladies! Haha!!
I could totally do that, but wife would maybe put her foot in my ass and not participate in conjugals with me for an undetermined amount of time, so I guess I’ll clean them up. Sigh…
Seriously, how do you single parents do this shit? I also have to go online and order Ace’s yearbook and fill out paperwork for her middle school registration. Had wife not reminded me of this, it wouldn’t get done. I probably wouldn’t know anything about any of it to know to get it done. Were I a party of one raising these kids, it would be anarchy.
This post has gone terribly astray from anything to do with traditional or nontraditional anything, hasn’t it?
Let’s get back to that and wrap this piece of garbage up.
I would say that I’m more of a traditionalist than not.
I think American League baseball is shitty and will openly complain when the National League is forced to implement the designated hitter rule.
I only vacation where there is sand and sun and water. That’s a tradition I got from my own parents.
Don’t get me wrong, I love people who visit civil war sites or snow topped mountains instead of the beach on vacation, because there’s more room on the beach for my cooler and I, but it ain’t for me.
I like traditional holidays with family and I generally loathe major change of any kind.
It saddens me to see old neighborhoods in my city turning into blighted shitholes because nobody cares about them anymore. Seeing once proud churches and schools and businesses boarded up, never to be used as they had been before, just makes me a little nostalgic and sad.
Maybe longing for the way things were isn’t tradition, but I sometimes do. Maybe what I’m talking about is just habit or something that’s comforting only because it’s familiar.
I find myself doing the same things for and with my kids that my parents did for and with me.
They play the same sports that I played growing up.
We live in a cul-de-sac, just like I did as a child.
Is any of that stuff really tradition? Maybe not, but this is my space to write what I want, so, in keeping with tradition, I’m going to click publish anyway.
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. The sentence is “We are both traditional, and non-traditional. I…” Today’s sentence was brought to you by Jean, of Mama Schmama. Her extra cool prize is that tonight, she’s a co-host, too! Go show her some love!