I love my today yous the best…

A couple of nights ago, the two year old, G$, was a pistol. He’s always a pistol, but that night he was more so than even he normally is.

He’s generally pretty good about getting to sleep nowadays, but for whatever reason he wailed and wailed for his mommy. He’s the youngest, so his status as a momma’s boy is totally not his fault and I don’t begrudge him for wanting her more than me nearly all the time when he wants consoling. Mom’s are where it’s at when it comes to TLC.

Wife went in to settle him down several times, but every time she left, his screaming continued. Exasperated, I’m sure, she tagged me in to try.

When I went in, he was sitting up and, of course, his first words upon seeing daddy were, “I want…I want mommy…” Whatever, little dude, it’s my turn.

I’d made up my mind before going into his room that I wasn’t going to butt heads with him. It was after 10 and he needed to get to sleep, so yelling at him for being a little butthole wasn’t going to help. It’d just rile him up even more.

We chatted a bit and at some point he said, “hold you?” That’s G$ speak for hold me. My first thought was that it wasn’t going to happen, sorry son.

We’ve never been ones to let the kids out of their beds. We’ve never had a crib or bassinet in our room and I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve had a kid in our bed asleep with the both of us. We are loathe to let the kids get their way when they’re being little jerkoffs.

For whatever reason though, I took him up on his sloppy seconds offer and took him and his favorite brown blanket out of the crib and over to the rocker.

I sat down and he immediately wrapped his arms around my neck and rested his head on my shoulder. He was tired. He turned his head a couple of times and was snoozing within five minutes. I’ve always marveled at how quickly a child can fall asleep.

I could have gotten away with putting him back in bed right then and there, but G$ and I seldom have these sort of alone moments so I stole some cuddle time. I sat in his dimly lit room and enjoyed the feel of his little heart beating against my own chest. I hugged him tightly and rubbed my hand on his little back. I could feel his spine where it arched just a bit as I rubbed. Up to his shoulder blades and back down to his diaper. I smelled his head and I’d swear that there was still the faint odor of new baby smell in there somewhere. It’s faint and will no doubt he gone soon, but it was in there along with the scented shampoo and lotion odors all competing for space in my nose.

Sort of like this...

Sort of like this…

We rocked and I thought it funny that G$ would never remember this time we’re enjoying together, that I’m enjoying at least. He’ll wake up and be the beast that he was born to be, and I’ll be happy, as I am right this second, with the memory of our time together.

I thought about what a challenge it’s been to get him to this point in his life.

He’s been loud.

He’s been stubborn.

He’s been rude.

He’s been G$, and I love him today, more than ever.

I thought about my whole family in the dark that night. I thought to myself that I really miss when the kids were tiny and they would sleep on my chest as I laid on the couch Those moments are so few and far between now.

Would I go back to that point though?

No.

I love each of my family peeps as the them they are today even more than the them they were before. Does that make sense?

WIFE:

Oh silly wife, remember when I carried that picture of you from when you were 19 or 20 in my wallet? You were so young and beautiful.

I had that picture for years and years, but it was lost in the great wallet caper of 2013.

Truth be told, you’re more beautiful to me now than you were even then.

You sometimes act skeptical when I tell you how sexy or beautiful you are, but I mean it every time. I sneak peeks of you when you’re bathing the boys or reading them stories. They love you so much, and so do I.

You gave me three great kids and have done most of the heavy lifting to make them the awesome little people they are today. That’s sexy to me.

You understand my temperament and get my humor. You call me out when I’ve gone too far and build me up when I’m feeling down. You were a patient single mom when I was in law school and even today still, when I work extra shifts to pay the bills. Young Wife may not have been as understanding.

Your encouragement, support, love, hugs, kisses and friendship mean more to me than the couple of pounds you always worry about or the way your hair looks or your jeans fit.

The wife, friend and mother you are mean more to me than how you look, but having said that though, you’re still really smokin’ hot, so I feel as though I got it all with you.

ACE:

What happened to my little girl?

In the blink of an eye you’ve managed to grow from this:

Awe, my little bit...

Awe, my little bit…

Into this:

Ace and her pup...

Ace and her pup…

You don’t remember the Mondays we spent together when I was off work going to Lion’s Choice for lunch, and then to Best Buy, sometimes to look and sometimes to buy.

We rarely ever missed a Monday lunch date, and those times with you are some that I’ll always cherish. You are my first born, my special little girl.

When I came home last night, you were telling me about the classes you hoped to take in middle school next year. You were so happy and talking on and on, but all I could think about was how beautiful you were. I made this? Wow! Then I thought, wait, what?? Middle school?? How did that happen so fast??

You are perfect just the way you are, Ace. You and I can talk and play games together. We talk about our days and what you’ve been doing. I love that you have friends that you hug and laugh with and spend the nights with.

You’re ten now. You’re at a great age. You help around the house and with your brothers, but you’re still a child, and that side of you comes out from time to time to remind your mom and I to step off and cut you some slack sometimes.

I miss baby Ace occassionaly, sure, but I love the little girl you are right now and can’t wait to see who you grow up to be.

COOL:

My little buddy. My main man! My first born son.

You are the clown prince of the family. What comes out of your mouth from day to day never ceases to amaze or amuse us. From coming home from preschool speaking entire Spanish sentences to telling our never before dinner seen waitress that you love her, it’s always something.

You’re a little guy right now, and people are drawn to you because you’re cute and funny and smart…you know, you’re a little me, right? Even down to your choice of beer.

Yay beach!

Yay beach!

You’re going to grow into a big guy soon enough. You’re four and will be five really soon.

I miss my tiny little guy, but love the you that you are today because you and I can talk to each other and play video games together. I can read you stories and you can ask me questions about them. You still think I’m really smart and cool and funny, so you earn points for that.

You’ve grown into quite the little man. I love to sit and watch you when you’re concentrating on doing whatever it is you’re doing, whether it be coloring or playing trains with your brother, or doing your favorite thing, playing video games. Look how into it you are.

So focused on Mario's quest...

So focused on Mario’s quest…

You’ll be in kindergarten in the fall, and before I know it, you’ll be talking to me all excitedly about classes you want to take in middle school. I’ll be nodding my head in agreement, but I’ll be thinking wait, what?? Middle school?? How did that happen so fast?? Just like last night with Ace.

G$:

My youngest child. My big boy. You did this to me, pal. You got me all thinking about who you all used to be and how, even though I miss the little you and the little Ace and the little Cool, I really do love all of the today yous, mommy too, more than I do the old yous.

It makes sense. I’ve known the today you longer than the other yous.

While I did love you as this little guy who would sleep during the day and stay up ALL.NIGHT.LONG.

Can't wait to be up all night...

Can’t wait to be up all night…

I love the today you even more. I really do.

You’re loud and strong and proud. You’re quite different from your brother and sister. Not better or worse, just different. At the end of the day, you’re our sweet boy.

Deceptively sweet...

Deceptively sweet…

You talk now. You’re talking really well, in fact.

Of course, with the talking comes a lot of yelling, but that’s ok. That’s just how you roll. We get that.

We hang out now and do things you like to do. When you were “little” you had to do what I liked to do and I would just hope you’d enjoy it. Now you can tell me where you want to go or what you want to do.

We’re closer now that we can reach an understanding, right?

Good times...

Good times…

I do enjoy looking at pictures from the past, but there isn’t ever a time when I want to go back and change anything. That sounds risky.

I love all my yous, just the way they are today, and I wouldn’t want anything to change on my account.

Instead, I’m doing my best to enjoy all of my today yous and looking ahead to what you’ll be like tomorrow.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Family, Parenting, The not meant to be funny stuff, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

108 Responses to I love my today yous the best…

  1. ardenrr says:

    DAMMIT DON! I was all set to write something snarky about you calling your kids jerkoffs and then you had to be so damn sweet.

    Damn you….

  2. mollytopia says:

    Thanks for making me cry at work. My mascara’s all fucked up and I think I rruined a contact lens. But I love you anyway and this post rocks. I feel the same way about my Anna, and I hope one day someone says the same stuff about me that you do about your wife : ) You two are so lucky to have each other. Family is the best. Happy sigh. Yay yous!

    • Lol, Molly, you’re a hot mess and I think your fantastic. Good luck with the T25! you’re a better human than I am. It’s hard for a woman like you to find a man who’s good enough, but you’ll get there. You maybe have already?

  3. bethteliho says:

    Totally cried. Fucker. This was BAH-U-TIFUL. You gave a gorgeous family.

    • Yes! If I can get one person per post to call me a fucker, I can die a happy man. That you’re a Texan makes this one count for the whole month! Thank you so much, Beth. I appreciate it.

  4. Jennie Saia says:

    Where did this warm, fuzzy blanket on my shoulders come from? Oh, it’s just this post. Amazing. I’m glad your life is so full of love.

  5. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Such a sweet post. Love seeing this side of you, Don.

  6. theresa adkins says:

    That was sweet. not what I expected, but sweet. Maybe tomorrow youll make me pee myself again, or choke or something…..

  7. Emily says:

    Wow, this was a bit different for you, but it was awesome…beautiful words for a beautiful family.

  8. The dog post yesterday brought this on. The love that surfaced after you wrote about Jojo spilled out onto your family and into this beautiful post. Be sure to print this one in multiple color copies on glossy paper. If your blog ever crashes, this is one perfect post you will never want to lose. Your family will appreciate it in years to come. Really wonderful, Don. You are a good man.

    • You’re probably right about that jojo love spilling over, Maddie. Now I’m all worried about my blog crashing, so thanks for that…lol. I think I will print it out though. Thank you for the compliments too. I try, mostly.

  9. A.J. Goode says:

    This is beautiful. You made me cry, darn it.

  10. djmatticus says:

    Dang it, Don. Stop with all the sappiness! Now I’m all a mix of emotions. Excitedly anticipating a time when the Little Prince can tell us what he wants and already missing the little guy I could carry around in one hand.

    • Yeah, I guess that’s a part of parenting. You want them to crawl and walk and talk, but then you miss the way they used to be. It’s like they’re completely new people every few years. It’s sad and exhilarating at the same time.

  11. Well done! I’m a little weepy, myself.

    “Hoed You?” LOL

  12. findingninee says:

    Aw! I love this and know exactly what you mean about missing the younger thems but loving the today thems the very most of all. The photos are awesome and so is your sweet family. Save this in case the teenager thems turn out to be a bigger pain in the ass than you’re anticipating.
    Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I have something in my eye. Great post, Sappy Don! πŸ˜€

  13. Koa says:

    So. Sweet. Love it!

  14. markbialczak says:

    Beautiful you, Don. I think you should print out three copies of this post, stash them away, and give one each to Ace, Cool and G$ the night before their high school graduation. It would make one hell of a present, sir. And, this proud dad of a still-sweet and robustly independent 23-year-old daughter will remind you once more how fast those years ’til graduation will fly by for each. Thanks for sharing these nighty-night with G$ thoughts.

  15. Twindaddy says:

    There aren’t enough words in the dictionary to describe the love we have for our respective yous. It’s amazing when you think about where your kids started. Then you think about where they are now and wonder how it all happened so fast, and you’re suddenly overwhelmed with emotions you can’t define.

    Great post, Don. You’re a great father and husband.

  16. Holy ooey gooey goodness, Don! This post really says it all, rather beautifully. I do love that you snuck a BLL into the baby pic with Cool. I expect no less. You’re a kick ass dad and a fab hubs, I can tell.

  17. rynolexson says:

    Wow, so you really do like your kids? Way to mislead us all.

    That was beautiful, you need to show this to your wife and she will most definitely want to sleep with you after reading it.

    I hope all your kids read this and realize what an awesome dad they have. I might have even shed a slight tear myself, only half a tear at most though.

    • You don’t strike me as a tear shedder, but I could be way off on this with you. You’re all over the place. I’m still waiting for the post related sex, but I’m sure it’s coming soon!

  18. awwww… sappy sweet you. love it!. lucky you and lucky them. it’s true, as wistful as i am for the lost baby years, i so appreciate everyone as they are today!
    although, i do miss those snuggle at night moments. they really are delicious.

  19. So beautiful! I’ve said this before myself – each time they grow up a bit they become like different people and you miss the other people that they were along the way, but you LOVE the people they are now. My two are 15 and 12, and it continues in that way! Wonderful wonderful post.

    • Ha, thank you Vanessa! You said in a succinct comment what it took me 1500 words and several pictures to try to convey. I think I’m over the tiny baby phase finally. I was jonesin’ for one for a while there. Lol. I might be part woman.

  20. Carman says:

    You did it this time, Donnie! I cried like a baby reading this! I love you guys and really love being around all of you. You’re an awesome dad and a wonderful husband. It’s good to see you’re not afraid to express your love and how you know wifey is beautiful. Your family is a blessing!

  21. Lolly says:

    http://youtu.be/igm2iGvo-us ( it’s country but read the words )

    • I have that song in my running playlist, if you can believe that. When I run, I have sappy thoughts sometimes too (when I’m not thinking about dieing). Thank you for sharing it, I’ve never seen the video.

  22. mistyslaws says:

    This was heart wrenchingly sweet. Where the hell did Don go? πŸ˜‰

  23. Love love love this! Look at you! You are a big softie! Although i knew you were! I can relate to so much of this seeing as our kids are pretty much identicals! Great post!

  24. Awww. Now you got me remembering when my Little Man was a baby and wouldn’t sleep unless we held him. And when he was just weeks old, newly home from the NICU, and he would only sleep on his tummy. Thanks for the memories. Loved reading about yours.

  25. ❀

    I get this, so much.

  26. 1jaded1 says:

    If everyone loved their spouses and children as you…this world may show some promise. Love this.

  27. Aussa Lorens says:

    What is this madness? Why must you give me warm fuzzies like that? Ah.

  28. Laura Lynn says:

    What a beautiful family and how wonderful to see your love for them. It’s inspiring. I think I’m going to go out and start a family of my own…oh wait…the math. I should have started last summer. Well, you’re one in a million Don. Your family is lucky, almost as lucky as you are.

  29. lrconsiderer says:

    Oh shit Don. Yeah. You got me as well. Tears. Because this is so perfect and so wonderful and so what I want,,,and so bittersweet for that reason.

    I’m glad you have it. I’m glad your kids have you.

    • Thanks, Lizzi. Keep at it. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. I am very lucky though and appreciate that now more than ever.

      • lrconsiderer says:

        Que sera sera. Not the easiest pill to swallow. But thanks. And I’m glad you appreciate it, and are showing that. You’re getting it right, and if nothing else that brings hope and some comfort. So thanks for that.

  30. tric says:

    Aw Softie. Lovely post. I smiled at how you got suckered into breaking your rules and having that snuggle. We too did that and the fourth had no rules of note in her life at all…. and guess what? She was the easiest and most happy of all our kids as a little one.
    Yes enjoy them while they are young. My youngest will be 12 soon. I feel like every day is just flying by and with them my days as a mom of little ones.

  31. What a heart warming post! You don’t often get out the soft colours but hey, they look good on you. That’s a nice one for the fam when they get older me thinks.

  32. Nadia says:

    I love seeing your softer side, Don. Your family is lucky to have you.

  33. elihawkins6 says:

    Look out dude, you’re sweet side is showing. haha! A very pleasant read… And a very handsome family. You’re doing “it” right.

  34. Shit – mascara alert….luckily I don’t wear that stuff on Tuesday mornings. What a great example for all men you are. THAT is what we wives want to hear our husbands say. Well done. I think I’m standing and clapping again. Damn..I am a nut job!

  35. PinotNinja says:

    Damn that was beautiful! And also very well played. When, inevitably, you do something to irritate your wife, Ace, Cool or G$ in the following months/years, all you have to do to make up for it is whip out this blog post. How can they be mad at you when you did something so sweet and thoughtful? They totally can’t.

    You, my friend, just wrote your own get out of jail free card.

  36. Well. I guess I’ll get in line and start weeping like a baby then.

  37. dishofdailylife says:

    This was so sweet. I sat here afterwards thinking back to mine when they were little. Where did the time go? And now I’m ready to cry. Just beautiful. Visiting from Kristi and Finding Ninee this morning, and I can already tell I’ll be back.

  38. Maggie O'C says:

    Ack! I am weeping! So beautiful. My youngest used to say “Care lo” which meant Carry You which meant Carry Me πŸ™‚ You had me at “hold you”.

  39. You! Enough with making me cry today!!! It’s true, though, you fall in love with them more and more over time. Each minute you think you can love them more… then, you do. I can’t believe I”ve never been to your blog before.

  40. mamamlk says:

    Between your post on your friends blog about the homeless lady and this… I’m speechless! A very different side of you! ( you are probably sick of hearing that though) I like it. Don’t get me wrong…I live your smart ass sassy posts, your random BS posts, and your make me laugh so milk comes out my nose posts as well! But this being new….it was beautifully written and wonderful to read! Kudos!

    (If you want me to call you a fucker so you have almost one per blog…..I can to make you happy!

  41. Okay- so apparently I have a new-found realization that I can only handle one of your posts A DAY. Too much- just TOO much good stuff to take in!!!

    So gorgeous. SO. Gorgeous. I hope your precious wife reads all of these… you actually sound like my hubs when you speak of her. I know she must feel as loved as I do, and for that- i am SO glad. She’s got a good ‘one’ like I do. πŸ™‚

  42. Daile says:

    TOO MANY FEELS. Why do you make me feel the feelings Don? Your kids are gorgeous, your wife is truly a saint and you are a softie. Love it.

  43. jasteck says:

    Beautiful, Don. Even though my son is grown, I remember holding him until he fell asleep. There are so many special moments along the way and you’ve caught so many of them. What a wonderful family.

  44. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says:

    Aww! I love this! So very true – I loved when my three girls were babies (mostly) but I wouldn’t go bak for anything. I love them the way they are now. Very well said~

  45. Cheryl says:

    Okay. Who are you? And what have you done with Don? Geez, now I have to wipe the snot and tears off my keyboard. Wonderful post.

  46. Whoa Susannah says:

    Wonderful post Don. Really wonderful. (No sarcasm intended this time).

    • Thank you, Susannah? Lol, no, I know you’re being serious for a change. BTW, I couldn’t comment on your mom tending to daughter while she was dying post…my phone wouldn’t cooperate, but it was great.

  47. Oh I love this. I really do love how you took that moment and made it into something more. So much more. You should print this and give it to each child when they graduate high school (or reform school whichever comes first).

    And that moment you were talking about? The one when they cuddle just so and the drool rains down your neck….that is one of my most favorite part of being a mom.

  48. Don, you fucker! I’m all stuffed up and red eyed now! Sadie says “hold you” too! Except it’s more HOOOOLLLDDD YA!!! So you had me right there, that and the teeny whiff of baby smell. It’s almost gone. Her breath stinks in the morning now, too. Ha!

    Bedtime is a nightmare at my house. She’s a night owl, like her mama. We got her a little trampoline for the living room and I make her jump until she looks like she’s gonna pass out, and take her up to bed.

    443 questions and 57 books later, she falls asleep. I’m usually pretty over it at this point. But then I hold her tiny little body, and all that love floods in, and the gratitude that I get to do this, I get to be somebody’s mom.

    Sorry for rambling. I just wanted you to know this post touched my heart. And that’s no easy task. I’m a pretty crusty old whore.

  49. Aw yeah. You just wrote exactly what’s in my heart about my family. Nice job, buddy.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s