It’s no secret, that a person unfamiliar with this here blog would notice, pretty immediately, that 94% of the people who read and comment on this garbage are women.
Women be bloggin’!!
While I enjoy the online company of the awesome ladies I’ve met, as well as the four men who comment on my blog semi-regularly, I wanted to expand my reach beyond the cat lovers, KSU alum (gross) and circus kin I love so dearly. You know who you are.
So, even though I’ve sort of fought it for the year and three months this blog has been around, I’ve finally decided to be honest and come out of the closet with a facet of my life that I’m ashamed of.
Why the fuck not, right? I mean God made me what I am and there’s nothing I can do about it now. Once I penetrated the opening with my man love wand, I was labeled and there was no turning back.
I’m a dad.
I sometimes blog.
I am at least a part time dad blogger!
I don’t know why, but I’ve sort of resisted the whole dad blogger label even though I don’t have any other label to go with. You know, it’s the whole “ofalltrades” thing that I sort of like about myself. I guess I didn’t want to get pigeon holed into always writing about my dadventures with the children. See what I did there? There’s a lot of potential in dad blogging, right?
Dadding is pretty fun, I’m not horrible at it, and the blog content practically writes itself.
Is that a word, dadding? Fathering I guess is the correct word, but that’s dumb. Who says father anymore? Fuck, I don’t know. Who cares either? The point is that I’m back in the saddle here and finally embracing my dadness.
I found a pretty cool dad bloggers group on Facebook. I’m not allowed to share what’s discussed in that group, because what happens in the dad’s bloggers group stays in the dad bloggers group. I may have said too much already, in fact.
It’s mostly dads supporting dads and all that good stuff. I will admit that it took me a while to embrace those men, however.
Did you know that there are men out there who stay at home with their kids all day while their wives work? Not just in the way that Micheal Keaton did in that movie because he was laid off, but on purpose!
I know, right? Mind.Fucking.Blown!!!
There are straight dads and gay dads and tall dads too. Some dads are fighting for the right to change their baby’s diaper on a changing station in public areas by demanding that companies end the stereotyping of the woman being the only one who can or will change a diaper by putting some damn changing tables in their men’s rooms too. And to think that I would do a happy dance to myself whenever there wasn’t a changing table in the men’s room!
Honestly, joining this group made me wonder for a little while if I suck as a dad.
I certainly don’t volunteer to change a diaper, especially one that I know has shit in it. I mean, I guess if I knew my wife would jump my bones for changing a shitty diaper, I’d volunteer, but not for much else. We’re on the third kid now; I’ve changed my share of diapers. Is it as many as my wife? No, not even close.
I’m not a stay at home dad either. I can barely tolerate staying home with the kids alone for a single day, let alone multiple days or five days a week for 18 fucking years! It’s just not my thing. The kids, even though they’re really well behaved, are exhausting. They always have to eat and poop and when that happens, somebody has to have a diaper changed or their butt needs to be wiped and then the dogs want to go outside, even though it’s raining, and it’s on and on and on, all fucking day!
Going back to work is a relief!!
Does that make me a bad dad or any less of a dad than these other dudes who really enjoy and embrace their stay at home dad roles?
I say no.
Dads are people and all people are different. Our differences needn’t make any of us better than others who are doing their best. We show our love in different ways, and as long as our loved ones know we love them and our kids wake up to live another day, then we’re doing just fine.
Not enough for you? Okay then, how’s about I show you then.
Here are 14 random ways I know I’m winning at parenting:
1. EVERYONE enjoys bathtime.
- Beanbag chair in the bathroom helps daddy at #winning bathtime
2. Pfffft, this kid didn’t get to be this fucking cool because hid dad is a lame ass, that’s for sure.
Coolest kid ever.
3. Boy has a lady stalker on day ONE of preschool. Day ONE!
Yes son, this one digs you.
4. This dad’s girl don’t eat no salad. Meat and ketchup and taters and bacon and eggs, oh my!
Eats like her dad…#winning
5. They paid their respects to my dead dog, Natty with prayers and yes, Natty Light.
Please bring Natty home to you, Jesus, and thanks for beer.
6. They know how to do the beach right.
Cutest passed out pose ever?
7. Perfectly happy with an 89 cent balloon.
OMG, what’s an iPad!!??
8. The Cowboys. ‘Nuff said.
PS: We’re still bitter about the Tom Landry ouster in the DOAT household.
9. Come on, this just reeks of winning and you know it.
Pee like a man, shrinkage be damned!
10. Daddy leans more crips, but whatever, yo. Still winning.
Suburban gangster…
11. They’re even happy during time out for fuck’s sake.
Derrrrr!!
12. Hooters = winning, always.
We love the wings!
13. Winning at baseball in Walmart because dad is winning at parenting.
Sent that baby all the way to Electronics
14. Our passion for love and diversity.
Why did that white man hand me this lil baby??
Are you buying that I’m winning at being a dad, or are you thinking about calling child protective services on me?
don of all trades 
The blogging life lingers, Don. In too little time you’ll miss the daddying. Savor it.
I already miss some of the very tiny baby things that I’ll never have again, so you’re right. Thank you.
You’re alive! That feeling like a bad dad stuff is the same thing moms deal with all the freaking time, every day. Mom guilt. The Mommy Wars. I never really feel like I’m doing a good job. There’s always some mom out there that seems to be doing more or better or enjoys stuff more that I hate or doesn’t yell at their kids or tell them to shut up sometimes.. We’re always comparing ourselves. And I’m sure other moms look at me and feel mom guilt because of the way I do my family. But whatever. You have the right attitude. You’re not falling for that crap. Good for you. And I laughed out loud again seeing that bathroom photo.
I know, right? I just could not pull a post out of my ass for three weeks. I tried several times, Kate! Hell, this one is mostly just old pictures of the kids, so even that’s a bit of a cop out, but I had to post SOMETHING! Thanks for visiting!
Oh my god! 😱. While I laughed reading every word! When your kids hit about 13 or 14, oh they may be SUPER UPSET over the pictures, we think they are cute, they may not. I agree, WORK IS AWESOME, two 15 min breaks and a 30 min lunch, over 8 hours, Then time and half after 8 hrs, with the fall back of “Sorry, not in my contract”. I always preferred to work night shift in addition to being with kids, just easier.
Congratulations on your “Honest Daddying Blogging”. Quite honestly, my ex husband and I would rock, paper, scissors over a poopy diaper.
Have a great day!!
NIBSIH
They’ll have to get over it, right? I’ll take a work day over a winter day stuck at home with the kids anytime.
Umm WE are the PARENTS, WE HAVE THE $$, DO THEY HAVE A CHOICE? What’s a winter day? I live in CA? Is that a snow day? I personally think school should be not have a summer break for 3 months, maybe 3 weeks. Hey I raised 4 kids, my younger ones are 13 and 10. They loose too much learned info and get on my nerves! Sorry teacher people!!
You win as a dad, Don. You love and cherish your kids! Go wings, for a different reason of course. 😉
Thank you, ma’am! I’m pumped to have some NHL hockey back tonight after that long break. Aren’t you?
Daddies be blogging! Don, I’d read you anytime, even if you are a ‘daddy blogger’. Those are three lucky kids you’ve got there. And they are friggin’ adorable.
Hahaha, thank you Nadia! You’re pretty adorable yourself. Thanks for reading all the time.
I think you are doing just fine at that dadding stuff 🙂
Thanks you! It’s a pain in the ass a lot, but I’d not trade it for anything. Maybe lots of money…no! Not even that.
Your kids are precious Don. Congratulations (from one of your 4 male commenters) on your recent coming out as a ***pregnant pause here*** Daddy Blogger! Tah Dah! Dont’ let anyone dis ya for your forthrightness. Of course you have an edge on others ; you carry a gun and can shoot anyone who gives you a hard time. I’m happy to stand behind you – Waaaaaay behind you! Wait, put that gun down!
Thanks, buddy! I appreciate it. I mostly use my gun to crack open walnuts, so it’s all good. You can come closer.
Dude, where have you been? So glad you came out if it meant you came back. I’m a (shhh…don’t tell anyone) stay at home mom, and you’re right. It is exhausting. But it doesn’t matter who changes the diapers or stays home with the kids, you seem to really like yours, and that’s really cool. I like mine too.
I’ve been in a mental fog of some sort brought about by winter, work and life in general maybe? IDK. I couldn’t pull a post from my ass so I must quit altogether. No reading even. I hope I’m back. I missed some of you people. Eh, I like my kids mostly, yes.
Lolling at 5 days a week for 18 fucking years. And why don’t girls get invited into the dad blog group? We let boys into ours.
Hahaha, you let boys into yours…of course, that’s how we all become parents, right?
Man comes up to you, a total stranger, and starts blathering on about his kids/beer/sports, and he’s dropping the f-bomb left and right. Do you:
1. Call a cop?
2. Avoid eye-contact, maybe a few polite murmurs, and head for someplace well-lit with lots of people?
3. Look at the pictures, laugh at the jokes, and give him your home address?
If the kids’ pictures are the cutest things since—well, since your own kids, and he’s incredibly funny for someone whose language is at least 30% made of four letter words, and oh yeah, he already IS a cop, then you grab those pictures, coo over every adorable kid, hand him your house key, and demand regular visitation rights. Now THAT’S a Daddy Blogger, or at least it’s Don.
Blathering on…lol, i like that, Barb. And I like you! Thanks for bringing a tiny bit of class to my blog. Are you on the NY Times best seller list yet?
Thanks Don. Like back atcha. Alas, no NYT yet. Although I’m holding onto best seller top 100 list in Kindle’s little genre (steampunk), JK Rowling still has nothing to worry about from me. But there’s always that next book…
Oh.My.God. Another woman be bloggin’ here, and commenting on this post. Well, I would be, if I could stop laughing long enough to type out anything to tell you how much I loved this dad outing stuff. Your kids are going to laugh at this too. One day. And they will be so damn proud of having such a cool dad. Wish I could say more, but still laughing. Great job doat.
Hahahaha, bless your heart Blog Woman, I love a laugher! Thanks for reading!
Well, about frickin’ time! I’ve found all these amazing beautiful blogging women over the past 7 months who I love to read and then finally a month ago I fall head over heels in man love with Don of all Trades. I immediately subscribed to his blog. Then I come home each night, crank up the ol’ Internet, and check my Inbox…and NOTHING! Thinking maybe my subscription didn’t take I go to his blog and just continually hit Refresh while drink Bud Light beerS (sorry can’t do the Lime version). Still nothing. Oh btw…all those hits on your home page…yes,that was me. Finally, a frickin’ classic, fall backwards outta my chair crash into my Golden Retriever, Phoenix, who then steals my ball cap..and I didn’t even care post tonight when I got home. It was worth the wait! Great to hear from you, Don…or douche as Kristi calls you 🙂
Awe, you win for best comment ever. I was in a funk, Mike. Just one of those things. I hope I’m snapping out of it since I’ve been a real bear to be around lately.
Totally winning! You are the bomb! You deserve a standing ovation but that requires standing up which I have no plans of doing so I am giving you a bow instead. You got this dadding gig down pat. But I am very curious about what bloggy dads talk about in your secret hideout. I’m pretty sure you don’t discuss blog hops. LMAO
Lol, that you had no plans on standing up and stuck to that makes me love you. Thank you for the bow nonetheless. No blog hops for sure! Lots of topics. It’s all over the place topic wise, really.
I don’t have any kids but if I did, 2, 3 and 6 is how I’d hope they would live their lives. Great post man. Your semi-regular male commenters group is up to 5 now.
Thanks, Sean! I’m pumped to have you in the wolfpack. Can we call it a wolfpack. My wolfpack has grown by another!
The diversity one kills me.
We are all about inclusion here, Katie! Except for Cubs fans. They can suck it.
Thank you for representing the sensitive side of daddy-o-ing for us men. Natural Light instead of regular is just so thoughtful, Don.
I must say, being one of your usual men commenters, that is the first time in my life I have ever been called semi-regular.
And, about the DOAT children’s reaction to these photos to the world: Wait until the are old enough to have their own blogs. If they continue to follow in your footsteps so thoroughly, they will get you back.
Glad to see you post.
I’m hoping to live long enough to see them get my back, Mark! Thanks for following along with me.
Speaking for the 6%, congrats on coming out of the closet. It took courage. But I have to tell ya, it was pretty obvious all along.
Lol, well played, sir. Well played.
It looks to me like you’re doing damned good at this dad thing, Don. Being a good parent doesn’t mean that you never get to be frustrated or tired of your children. They can be exhausting and nerve-racking, but it’s still the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
Thanks, TD! I mostly fake my way through it, but it’s fun as heck for sure! So lucky and honored to be a dad. Lots of dolts get to be one, but lots of good people don’t so I’ll take it.
We’re all just ad-libbing this thing.
Well I think you nailed it right here and that’s why I chose to friend you on FB. It’s an elite group, feel lucky.
I feel so thankful that you’re my friend and that you haven’t ditched me yet. I can be a lot to take…giggity.
I think the passed out at the beach is the best – this has the potential to be followed up every year for the rest of his life. Clearly you are winning. BTW message me your address…I will send my kids over too.
It’s one of my favorite pictures ever! I’m just glad it was him and not me this time. It’s not as cute when it’s daddy apparently.
I was so happy to see your post in my inbox I almost squealed. (*snort* your post was in my inbox hahaha)
I laughed out loud twice. Not LOL, but genuine laughter. Out Loud. omg….the photos….brillz.
And holy shit, you know it never once dawned on me that it’s weird (and bullshit) that there are no changing stations in the men’s room! I’ve seen places with “family restrooms”. Those are great for when you have more than one kids with you. Or one had an explosion and you need more room than a typical stall could afford.
Glad you found a FB community. That’s awesome. You are a daddy blogger. A great one.
Haha, oh Beth, I love that you’re so sweet and almost always so sickeningly positive. Stay like that always, ma’am.
Yay! You’re back and with a vengeance. 🙂 Just own the dad blogger thing. All the moms who blog have to, so stop thinking you’re special!! The pictures of your adorable kids are priceless. Especially that one of your daughter eating that giant plate of food! Love it.
Awe, but I am special, right?? Lol. She eats like a teenage boy for god’s sake! It’s insane. Thank you for still reading my crap after all this time, Mormon. You’re one of the last of the original mohicans.
I’m pretty loyal. Almost to a fault.
Hahaha, that last part almost seems like a jab my LDS amiga.
Not at all!! I’m talking about other people…you’re great. 😉
First. LOVE your daughter’s pimp hat. Second..you know I was totally diggin’ on that Cowboys helmet. As for your thoughts on diapers? I know several women who feel the same way you do, so I don’t think that’s a gender related thing (and it keeps you winning). 🙂
Isn’t that hat awesome? I’d love to take any credit, but that’s all her grandma’s doing. Of course you love them cowboys!! That’s my helmet from when I was a little boy pretending to be Danny White winning the Super Bowl!!
Hahaha! Thanks for making my morning start with a snort. Doesn’t it feel better to be out of the closet and to still have all these people publicly acknowledge your Dadness? I hope you don’t get thrown out of the Dad FB group for revealing some of the secrets. 🙂
I know, right? I suck at secret keeping I guess. I have actually been overwhelmed today at how great my online friends have been at taking me back! It’s really been great. I figured y’all would have forgotten and moved on to something better, i.e. anything but this stuff! lol.
Finally you are back in action! What an awesome post to come back with too! Glad you could finally admit that you, Don of all trades is indeed a daddy blogger. I have been waiting months for you to say that. about damn time.
PS, can i join the daddy blogger group? It sounds like fun, ill keep the secrets, I swear.
PSS: I can’t get over the picture of Colt peeing outside. That is awesome. lol
PS “Anonymous” is me: That Girl Ryan. LOL i’m slightly retarded.
Slightly? Lol. You’re still okay in my book Girl Ryan. Thanks for being a pal.
So….beer for kids = good. Whiskey for kids = bad. Whiskey for parents = coping mechanism?
Um, so what is that like algebra?? I like beer, yes. Whiskey is coping up until that point where it becomes part of the problem. Lol. thanks, Terrye. It’s great to see you around again. I hope all is well.
The only problem is when you run out of whiskey. 😀 Things are getting better. Good to see you back as well. Keep kicking some serious parenting butt.
Dude. All your kids got game.
Pffft, of course! Like dad,right? Please, BD!! Throw me that bone!!!
Here’s your bone.
Sorry for the chew marks.
The slobber is extra.
Definitely winning. I see some pretty happy (and adorable) kids in those photos! 🙂
Thanks, Jessica! They are pretty happy mostly. I’m pretty happy with them for sure. Oh, and adorable? Duh, like daddy!! Right?
Holy fucking shit you’re an awesome dad! Damn. Why couldn’t my own dad be as cool as you? And the photos? BRILLIANT! You know some uptight biddy will lose her shit seeing those but who cares? You show humor and an ability to handle parenthood with honesty and a real interest in your children. Keep it up, dude! These are memories your kids will treasure forever.
Haha, daddy issues suck ass, Kim. I’m just trying my best with the limited brain cells God gave me. I’m pretty lucky and I hope one day they’ll think the same about having such a doofus for a dad.
Looks like you are winning to me.
Thanks, Jack! I appreciate the visit my friend.
THAT WAS RUDE. You know what I’m talking about.
And I totally love Hooters too. High five! I have a picture of Emma when she was 2, passed out in a tailgate chair. Everyone put their empty beer cans around her. Ha. I love parenting.
Hmmm, I think I know what you’re talking about my favorite Kansan. Your comment made me laugh out loud, so thanks for that. I imagine you have lots of great pictures of those girls in funny situations. Parenting is great, right? Otherwise, all this drinking just seems like a problem instead of the solution to a problem.
You ARE a winning dad because you take the good with the bad, and you end up laughing about it, all while clearly adoring your kids. There’s no other way to survive as a parent.
Thank you doc! It’s all funny, good bad or otherwise. 15 years as an urban police officer gives one a pretty good perspective about what’s important. You get it, I’m sure. There’s always tomorrow.
And you’re baaaaaack! The fact that you have a beanbag in your bathroom so you can lazily swig your BLL is either beyond brilliant or a sign that something’s wrong with you. In other words, I’m totally jealous that I never thought of that, which means you win bathtime. And daddying, because those kids of yours totally rock.
Yay, hi Kristi!!!! In my defense, I move the chair in and out of the bathroom. It’s Ace’s so she likes it back in her room so she can read in it. It really is brilliant though. So comfy and beer makes everything awesome, even bathtime!
I loved that beanbag photo the first time I saw it, and the rest of those pictures made me laugh out loud, and even gasp- twice. Nice comeback- well played, my dad-blogging friend, well played. So happy to see you back here. You are beloved amongst women AND men.
Thank you, Steph! I love my online blogger friends, honestly, boys and girls both. It’s just that there are Sooooo many ladies!!!
Without a doubt, you are winning. And I’m totally stealing the bean bag in the bathroom idea when the Little Prince gets a bit older.
Thanks my friend! Uh, he’s old enough to be bathed now, right?? Start it early!
Hahaha, yes, he gets baths… but… well, it’s too much work for us right now to warrant a bean bag chair… lots of flailing, and splashing, and standing and reaching for things, and giggling… and some more giggling…
Welcome back, Don. You are totally winning, and your kids are going to grow up to be awesome ̶i̶n̶ ̶s̶p̶i̶t̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ just like you.
hahahaha, just like me indeed!!! Thank you, Dana. It’s good to be back.
Thing is, we kinda suspected all along that there was a Daddy Blogger at the middle of this. But congrats on finally accepting your true, online self 😉
Don’t give up the day job!
(your kids look AWESOME. You win.)
Bah! You didn’t suspect a thing!! Did you? Really? Thanks for the kiddo compliment. They are pretty amazing. I’m thankful for them almost 90% of the time.
Pretty damn good ratio, and still more than some ever got 😀
As dadding goes (totally a word, by the way), I would say you are better than average. I mean, what more can you ask for? Those are some happy and relatively well-adjusted kids. And whether it’s because of or despite you, I say you are winning! Cheers, Don!
Better than average? Sweeeeeet!!! They’re pretty happy most of the time, yes. We’ll see about well adjusted though. We haven’t hit puberty yet. Thanks, Misty! I love ya! Oh and that player who didn’t know who Frank Robinson was and had to write a report?? Loved it!
Proud parenting moments!!! And I thought I was the only one who had kids so they could fetch me beer! 🙂
Only one of them does it competently, but it is great!!! How have you been?
I’ve been great. Except for today. I feel somewhat like stomped dog shit, as I have been struck by some sort of bug. Thanks for asking Don! Hope you are well!
Laughing! Sounds like you’re doing pretty well as being a dad to me…although I am wondering how the kids will like those pics when they are older. LOL I’m barely allowed to post anything. Of course mine are teenagers. But I tried to post a funny one of one of them in a wig and a cheerleading costume when he was about 3 and I got shut down. No way. Not happening. Here’s my problem. I ask. Shouldn’t do it. They don’t read my blog most of the time anyhow.
Hahaha, you ask permission? Hey, you own them and don’t ever forget that! You do what you want. Asking forgiveness is easier than asking permission or something like that.
Ha I know what you mean. I cringe if anyone ever says “mommy blogger”. Pass me the sick bag. Apart from the fact that no one in Ireland is a mommy. They are a mam, a mum, a mom, or a mammy, but definitely not a mommy!
You are my favorite Mammy blogger of all time, tric. Never forget that. Thank you. Hope all is well.
Ha! And hey there from one of your woman followers. Glad you found a daddy group. There are all different dads like there are all different moms and I know you’re gonna be sitting at the cool table.
hahaha, the cool table indeed! It’s an interesting group of guys, that’s for sure. Thanks, ICM. Hope you’re doing great!
You are the Charlie Sheen of daddying! I only say that because you added all of the #winning. Of course, you are a dad winning at the art of parenting. I am slightly shocked that Natty Light cans (which is my dad’s fave beer brand…I get my classiness from him, obviously) made an appearance in one of your posts though! So glad you got your blogging mojo back – regardless of what you blog about. I’ll take it. Meow from the cat lady.
Oh my god, I so want to drink beer and moonshine with your dad some day!! I once dated a girl who sucked, but her dad drank Natural Light and he was just so cool to me for some reason. I’d never known a grown man to do that! He was an accountant and very successful. Whatever, I was hurt when she dumped me and I couldn’t drink with her dad anymore.
A cool dude who drank Natty Light? I didn’t know that was possible! Now you know two grown men who choose to drink the cheap beer. Lucky you! And my dad will welcome you with open arms if that means moonshine and beer. C’mon!
Those pics are hysterical. You go. Pee and bathtime ones are my favs.
Hahaha, thanks, Rebecca. The chair has made bathtime my favorite and outside peeing? it’s a no brainer.
OMG, these pictures are so fun, your kids are freakin’ adorable. I love the baby with the beer and the peeing one. You’re clearly a fabulous dad (love the one with kids in tub and you on beanbag chair w/beer in hand also).
Thank you, Claudia! Baby on the beach is my favorite of all time! Lol.
um…..as a matter of fact, I too think that going to work is a big relief!! Does that make me a bad mom?!! LOL!! Love all the pics of your kids!
Wait, does this mean I’m a blogger dad too? A blog-daddy? Bloggin daddy? Anyway, now I have a label… I guess that’s okay. You have seriously cute kids, and I’m jealous that they’re well-behaved for the most part, and I feel your exhaustion man. I love my kids beyond all belief, but a couple of hours with them tires me out more than being at work all day… but I would always take the former, always.
We’ve missed you! You must have been busy being the awesome Bud Light drinking Daddy that you are! Great kid pics- especially the peeing one. 🙂
Definitely winning!
Love it! My husband changed more diapers than me. He did the ones in the night, and every one he was home for. And the burping! Man, if he’d taken bath duty, I’da been spoiled!