I just got off the phone with a buddy of mine.
We went to college together and suffered through biology labs and hangovers at each others’ side for four years.
We thought back then, when we still had some ambition, that we would someday find a cure for the common hangover. We were going to do our testing on squirrels. Many squirrels would be harmed in the process.
I thought we’d be rich by now for having done so.
Neither of us is rich for having done so yet.
Apparently, curing the common hangover or getting rich via some other route requires doing more than nothing and hoping it all just happens while you’re taking a nap.
Anyway, we had a 17 minute phone conversation to plan a weekend when his family could come stay with us and putz around together.
The last 2 minutes were spent addressing the weekend, but it’s the first 15 minutes of conversation that has me thinking.
We discussed, in no particular order of importance, his family’s credit card debt and how they’ve gotten themselves out of debt, his high blood pressure, my possible high blood pressure, our bad backs, how our kids are doing in school, doctor visits and insurance, and we ended by him telling me that he believes he has gout and explaining to me what gout is.
Geez, is there any disease that sounds more like an old man disease than gout?
This reminded me of another conversation that I had a few years ago when I ran into a guy at work who was a real ladies man when we were young police officers.
I can’t explain why this conversation has always stuck with me. I guess it felt like one of those “oh, no, not you too? You’re too cool to be saddled with a wife and kids” sort of thing.
We were work friends, but he and I never ran in the same crowd. We’d see each other at bars and events, and he always had a different hottie on his arm.
I ran into him at work shortly after hearing that he had a baby.
He immediately showed me a picture of his newborn and we talked at length about babies, boppies, babysitters, breast pumps and onsies.
It was pathetic.
We used to talk about beer and golf and women and football and beer and fuzzball and other manly stuff.
Now it’s all about the babies. Don’t forget to stop for milk and tampons on your way home, right?
Two grown men shouldn’t know what a boppy is, let alone be discussing their comfort and convenience over a cup of coffee without a woman in sight to be impressed with our love for our children and boppy knowledge.
While I was talking to my old college pal on the phone, he indicated that he had a bit of a hangover from being out on the town the night before. That same night, I’d also drank too much beer and topped it off with an entire bottle of wine, which was punishing me as well.
We both wished we’d developed that hangover cure.
It was just like old times.